<p>So, since being diagnosed with ADHD--Inattentive Type, I have done tons of research. I've spent hours online. I've read books. I've talked with people who are very familiar with the subject and have ADHD themselves. I know the basics inside and out. I can tell you most of the things about the medication I'm about to begin. It's been really important to me to learn and accept this and not let myself use the excuse "I have ADHD... I can't do that", like many of my counterparts in school. My biggest difficulty though hasn't been my mother. It hasn't been my friends. It hasn't even been getting help in school. Thehardest thing for me is the fact that my aunt, the woman who's been there for me like a mother, is always putting me down for believing that I have it. She does it subtly but very sharply. She throws out comments like, everyone has concentration issues, you should just work harder, well I guess if medication helps you should take it but it seems like a waste of money, and things along those lines. She won't believe the information on the subject. To her, this is an excuse in my life. I just don't work hard enough. It hurts me a lot, and I'm not sure how to address it. We spent a 12 hour round trip with each other a few weeks ago. The entire time it was a combination between telling me my religion is crap and that ADHD isn't really and I'm just not sure how to address this. I'm going to have a breakdown on the next trip I have planned with her if this continues. Part of me wants to print off all the studies, give her all of my books, show her all the websites, and have her talk with all of the people but she still wouldn't believe. She's not open the idea that for some people ADHD is real. I don't know what to do. It's overwhelming. What do you say to people like this? Especially those you love.</p>
<p>A lot of people don’t think that ADHD is real. In fact, a lot of people who clearly seem to have it don’t think it’s real, and even refuse to be screened for it. This might be your aunt’s case. Have you discussed your problem with this aunt with your mom or with the teachers or counselors at school? Some of them might have good suggestions for you.</p>
<p>Since your aunt currently hates your religion, and doesn’t believe that ADHD is a real phenomenon, you shouldn’t be planning any trips with her for a while.</p>
<p>Agree with Happymom – Sometimes avoidance is better than the stress. You need to come to terms with your “condition” and the best method for you to handle it. Once you are secure in the methods that work for you, then deal with your aunt. In our family’s experience, the best thing to say is simply, “I hear what you are saying, but my research on the subject disagrees. I need to find methods that help me be effective. Even if you don’t believe in ADHD, parts of the treatment are organizational strategies that can help anyone. Following the ADHD treatment is the best thing I can do right now.”</p>
<p>I have a 10th grader who has a very high IQ, standardized tests rather well and has ADHD (inattentive). Every year since 7th grade, without fail, he has at least 1 teacher who just finds him “lazy.” Some of these professional educators do not buy into the ADHD because he isn’t hyper; others simply don’t understand he can perform vastly different based on time of day. It is a waste of energy to convince some of these folks otherwise. I stopped trying. </p>
<p>You are doing what you need to do. Educating yourself. I assume you are using medication in conjunction with other organizational skills and visual clues (Large calendar for example). </p>
<p>Yes, everyone has concentration issues. The difference is your ADHD concentration issues require so much more energy to focus than the non-ADHD. You could waste money on video games; instead your choosing to waste it on medication with the hope it helps you based upon your self-educating of the issue.</p>
<p>Feel free to vent anytime. But know, in our family’s experience, there are many, many folks who don’t believe it is real.</p>
<p>musicallylatin…my 8th grade son has ADHD and based on our family experience, you may want to try education and then just avoid. My son’s grandmother is our issue. We did provide her with the research and the background, but sometimes Science does not have the power to counteract Oprah. We continue trying to educate, but in the end, avoiding is sometimes the answer. Take the stress off you. You are correct, but you cannot always win with the non-believers.</p>
<p>Have ADHD… parents unsupportive and think i’m being lazy…</p>
<p>“Science does not have the power to counteract Oprah”</p>
<p>That is the funniest thing I have heard all day. </p>
<p>One other idea on a way i explain it. I came up with an analogy for some of the teachers which appeared to make sense. Having a high IQ and inattentive ADHD is like driving a really fast Porsche without headlights. You look terrific, and you can get where you need to go, but you run into the sides of the road and hit obstacles. Sometimes educators try to tell you to take easier classes, which is kind of like telling someone in a P{orsche to drive on smaller roads. It doesn’t help the main issue of needing headlights, and additional difficulties (e.g. lack of engaging content, additional classroom distractions) can create MORE issues. You don’t need smaller roads - you need headlights. The headlights focus your beam so that you can stay where you need to be and avoid pitfalls. Headlights can be strategies, meds, habits…it is up to you as the person challenged, as well as the people around you to get the best and brightest headlights you can.</p>