<p>aroundthecorner - I hope you do an indepent project at Clark and write a novel. No, better yet, a TV show. Send me the schedule, I will be watching.</p>
<p>When we moved back to Manhattan with our newborn, a nanny agency sent over a few nannies to interview. One was a stunning Shanghai-via-Hong Kong woman. I thought she looked about 50. She was 68 at the time. She did not have children of her own.</p>
<p>At the first interview:</p>
<p>She: He's very good looking for a foreign baby.
Me. Thank you.
She: But you're not holding him correctly. See you on Monday.
Me: ?? Ummm. (She stands up and leaves.
Me: Hon, Did you hire her?
DH: Nope. Don't think so.</p>
<p>Thus began a decade of life with an 'acquired' Chinese grandma plus her husband who decided to come and help out every day.</p>
<p>My favorite, oft repeated, quotes:
*You say smells delicious but you don't know if taste is delicious or not (waves spoon at us).</p>
<p>You don't know anything. You come from a tiny baby country. You cannot argue with 5000 years of Chinese History. (waves some cooking tool at me).</p>
<p>Mrs., you look so fat! (Nearly every American visitor got this compliment).</p>
<p>Why you not hungry? (After we'd spent an hour trying to eat a banquet she'd cooked).*</p>
<p>Love her to bits. She's in her mid-eighties and going strong. Keeps threatening to visit S in college to cook for him.</p>
<p>Oh, cheers, hahaaa. That's like my friend's Gma. I get that compliment every time I see her too. ;) "Black Sheep, you gain more weight!" Then proceeds to feed me like crazy, "Black Sheep, eat more eat more! What, you shy? PAAH, eat eat, child!" </p>
<p>And yes, I have seen that film. Mmm.. good stuff. I was the only grandkid who let Gpa teach her how to cook. I ate more then I learned, but oh well. </p>
<p>Alumother, haha. :) I write a humor column for my school's paper, and my GC wanted me to turn them into TV show debate topics and become the next Oprah. Actually, here's snippets of one of my latest ones that relates to college: </p>
<p>*"For the mother of the seventh grader who wanted me to tutor him in the SATs: please realize that your child has other priorities right now, such as his hormonal changes and his online role-playing game. I, on the other hand, realized that I could stiff you a minimum of $100 per hour for at least five years, but seeing a little boy suffer through sesquipedalian terms overrules my need for you to fund my college education."</p>
<p>"For the people who say oh to my college choices because they are not Ivy League: please realize that you do not have to worry because to properly prepare myself for the real world I have bought plenty of merchandise from all eight of the Ivy Leagues, and plan to take many campus tours in order to rub shoulders with the only ones who would ever succeed in life."*</p>
<p>aroundthecorner: Nice. But my real favorites are the little dialogues with your grandfather and your grandmother and your mom. I would also love to hear the dialogue of you and any kid you actually do tutor!!! You have a knack for dialogue.</p>
<p>Should I say dialogue again?</p>
<p>I spent so many hours trying to cure her of that compliment, but then I gave up.</p>
<p>Such a life those Chinese Grammas and Grandpas have had. Such a crazy life.</p>
<p>I heard Doris Lessing speak about the wild children of the 60's. She said the British and European children were wild because their parents were trying to recover from the horrors of WWII and thus could nto parent them properly.</p>
<p>Perhaps the same is true for this generation of Chinese parents and grandparents. They are simply trying to recover from the effects of the Cultural Revolution, which wasn't that long ago. </p>
<p>No wonder they are so anxious.</p>
<p>=) i feel yah.</p>
<p>cheers-- cure her?! I LOVE it when I go visit my friend's Gma, and bring along a friend who hasn't seen her yet. Oh, their face expressions, haha! Teen girls just can't handle the word fat. And perhaps about the theory, I see it more of "I want you to have the life I couldn't have."</p>
<p>I don't tutor, my study habits include-- blasting music and absorbing the textbook through my forehead. </p>
<p>I do mentor though, just taking kids out and chatting with them. </p>
<p>Ooooh.. I have the funniest mentoring moments with kids. </p>
<p>Just today, at Hagen Daz-- </p>
<p>Kid: "What's in Bailey's Ice Cream?"</p>
<p>Me: "Um.. Bailey's Irish Cream.." </p>
<p>Kid: "Whazzat? Like soda?" </p>
<p>Me: "Sort of..." </p>
<p>Kid: "C'mon, spit it out! I promiiiiseee I won't tell Mom if it's something like bad." </p>
<p>Me: "Haha. It's an Irish spirit." </p>
<p>Kid: "A ghost?" </p>
<p>Guy at the counter: "It's WHISKY OK? WHISKY." </p>
<p>Kid: "...<em>looks at me</em> I won't tell Mom, if you don't tell her."</p>
<p>:) Thanks wonderlst.</p>
<p>aroundthecorner- LOL. And I'm sitting in an office with a big glass inner window and the rest of the group can hear me....</p>
<p>yah, i'm going to St. John's college and my parnts are like...nobody knows where that is. and everytime i mention where i'm going, people say 'yah i hear they have a great basketball team'</p>
<p>me: um. they dont have a basketball team. they are croquet national champs though...</p>
<p>or, since i'm in california</p>
<p>person: so where are you going?
me: st john's. its in annapolis.
person:..annapolis? where's that.. michigan or something? ohio?</p>
<p>and everytime i try to explain the great books program..it just sounds weird and people think i'm paying 40K/year to ...read books.</p>
<p>ooh, or they think its a catholic school, or a horrible school that i am resorting to because i couldn't get in anywhere better. haha its ok, though, because we both know our schools rock =)</p>
<p>Very very nice. Congrats!</p>
<p>aroundthecorner: You are making a wonderful future for yourself. Please keep writing - especially the dialogue.</p>
<p>wondrlst: St. John's - the one with no basketball team - is the college I would go to today. It was the first school that one of my daughters pursued and is the one that proved to her that her parents didn't care about the "prestige" schools, but rather what she wanted to do. It's an amazing program and you are also making a wonderful future for yourself.</p>
<p>=) you can still go to st. john's, mom of twins! my parents, too, are getting over the prestige factor, and have learned to just disregard the "she's going to st johns? what, she couldn't get into a uc?" comments.</p>
<p>wondrlst:</p>
<p>LOL! A big part of college is reading books! I'm sure you'll enjoy the experience. The curriculum sounds great.</p>
<p>Your letter struck a chord...
and here are the reverberations..</p>
<p>I, like aroundthecorner, am Chinese - and I'm from Singapore
My parents expect so much from me, but they've also sacrificed so much for me, and I love them more than I know. </p>
<p>The "What, only 99%?!" is part of my life, the "Apply to Harvard" (notice the command...:) ) as well. </p>
<p>Unlike you, however, I've never stepped out, never careened, never gone 'wild'. Obedience is my middle name, and 'Pink hair' is not part of my vocabulary...
A good missionary's kid, nice little Christian, happy angel child..
I am the eldest, and my parent's hopes are pinned on me; I am responsible; I work hard; I will do whatever makes them happy.</p>
<p>BUT.. there are times..
When I ache to do something 'bad', to go crazy, to do "What?!? <i> She </i> did THAT?!?"
There are times when I just want to escape from all these expectations.
Times when I sit.. and dream. </p>
<p>I cover up well, though - and smile, and go through life.
I don't think I'll ever do anything wild - and in fact, sometimes I don't know if I even want to. </p>
<p>I congratulate you for finding where you belong..
and pray that I will find my balance one day... :)</p>
<p>I thought about posting this in the rejects Harvard thread, but it fit here more. You dont have to be Chinese to have all those expectations put on you. My D always did her own thing. Missed graduating with honors because she decided homework was stupid her last half of her senior year. She still got into MIT, Caltech etc. changed her mind on the school she had already sent money into to go to a closer state school with a decent engineering program because she didnt want to miss her brother shows. (He suddenly was becoming a theatre star.) You can not imagine the comments she has gotten! When people asked why she would say, The school colors are purple and thats my favorite color. She is graduating now in Physic, Math and Childrens Lit.<br>
She was able to purchase a home and then a small apartment building. (We give the kids a flat amount if they use it all they make up the difference if there is extra money its theirs.) The rent she has collected paid for the mortgages etc. she will sell them soon for quite a nice profit. She recently won an open mike comedy night. And by the way she is often told she looks like Cameron Diaz. She is engaged to a wonderful guy, but he no where matches her in looks and she could care less. As you can tell I am extremely proud of her and I tell her that often. But I have to admit I still cringe a little when people ask me where she is going to college. I doubt she will take the path of least resistance instead she will go where she wants, I often tell people I want to be just like her when I grow up.</p>
<p>Had a rough day ("What! You missed catching the wedding bouquet? NOW WHAT?!!" "Auntie..I was the youngest single girl there." "Tut, tut, child. Whatever am I going to do with you. You don't want to end up like Lisa--27 and no man in sight!!"), so wanted to revisit my thread, and saw some new replies! [bumps old thread!]</p>
<p>:) Thanks for the encouragement everyone!!</p>
<p>Haha, wonderlst. It's ok. Our schools do rock. We can hold a Black Sheep convention and celebrate. </p>
<p>bondof3, I am graduating with pink hair (have a nice transition period between jobs, so I can look however I want!), and I will make it extra pink just for you. I have a friend from Singapore, he just got out of the army and is really excited about going to uni. Actually, he's dying to meet females (being stuck in the army was a toil on his manhood, haha!), so if you ever want to try the wild side... ;) </p>
<p>cluelessmc2, :) she sounds wonderful, wonderful person.</p>
<p>Like we said, keep writing. Feel free to post in the Parent Cafe if you just want editing/commentary.</p>
<p>aroundthecorner, when you win the Pulitzer or some other such prestigious award, will you tip your hair pink so that we on CC will know it's you?</p>
<p>bravo.....what a great voice you have.</p>