No, I wouldn’t be comfortable letting a 16 year old drive 8 hours on her own. The facts that 1. you don’t seem to appreciate what an inexperienced driver you are and 2. you don’t seem to appreciate what a strain 8 hours of driving can be are both worrisome. Why don’t you just apply and then visit if you are accepted?
I’ve taken into consideration all the objections and I’ve decided that I’m not going to ask. I’ll wait until April, and then hopefully I can go when the rest of the juniors are taking the ACT. Please note that this is because I’ve realized I’m trying to justify my own need to be independent with some sort of time constraint when in reality I do have a few more months to make my list, no matter what “timeline” my parents ask me to follow. I am not settling because that I do not believe it would be safe, or that I could not physically do it as I am too inexperienced.
@mathyone - I plan on visiting all schools before I am admitted. There is no sense in stressing about an application to a school, or even completing one, if I have never seen it in person. Any school can put whatever they’d like and quote whoever they want on their website. The actual feeling of a campus really matters to me.
As a high school senior who has overprotective parents as well (mine are the Asian kind tho) I would probably say no. I know you are excited to plan this all out and present it to your parents but you have to realize the impact of one little mess-up on your future (car accident, hotels, no campus visit time). But let me go over why I think you shouldn’t go:
- Probably what others have been going at in above posts - if your parents are going to be paying for college tuition and/or other costs, they will want to see for themselves how nice and safe the campus is. It doesn’t matter what online reviews say or what you say; their overprotectiveness will cause them to say no because of this.
- An eight hour trip is pretty long. You say you have been driving for increments of 30-40 minutes for 10 hours per week. I can relate this to sports training, such as track or swimming. If you practice at short distances repeatedly, it’s different than running or swimming one or a couple really long distances. You have no real experience with driving for really long times. But let’s say you drive for 30-40 minutes at a time, and then ou rest for like 10-15 minutes. Do you realize how long that’s going to take you? That’s well over a 10 hour trip.
Here’s what I believe can make your idea be more appealing to your parents: ask a friend (it should be a classmate who your parents know well) and make sure he/she drives well. Also make sure this friend is at least somewht interested in going to Vaderbilt or a school on the road or close (no more than an hour) away from Vandy. Present this idea to both families at the same time )this will work if your families are good friends). This solves problem two. You cannot have your aunt drive you (look at my first reason)
In order I help against your first reason, ou may have to commit to paying for college right now (if money may be an issue) or somehow get real evidence of how nice and safe the campus is. Ideas include taping the admissions officers when they say themselves that the campus is safe, taking pictures yourself, etc.
Note: anything can happen on the road. If your parents shoot this down, they don’t think the driving will be safe most likely. Here’s what I’ve learned while driving: it doesn’t matter how good you are at driving; it matters how good everyone else on the road is (because a careless or drunk driver could hurt you regardless of how well you think you drive).
Just don’t take it personally if your idea gets turned down. I still think you should try just to see if they may take it
Driving? No. You have no idea how bad things can go, even if it is interstate all the way. I recently drove by Nashville, and it was one big construction zone. Also you don’t know what the weather will be like in a few weeks. Tomorrow is supposed to be an ice storm. I don’t know if you would be driving from the north or south, but sorry, you just don’t have the experience yet.
Flying? If you have friends or family you can stay with, maybe.
My daughter could have gone to a college trip by herself, and she was doing an overnight with a friend. However, in the long run it was just easier (not cheaper) for me to go, rent a car, stay in a hotel. I wasn’t really included in most of her weekend schedule, but she did call and ask me to go on the public tour. In the end, she didn’t pick that school. When she asked for my opinion, I didn’t really have one because the school hadn’t included me in most of the activities. I couldn’t sell her on the school. Parents are really a lot more involved in the choice than kids like to think. We’re more willing to stretch the budget for a school we also believe in, where we can see our children succeeding.
I think you’d be pretty lonely driving for 8 hours, handing out at the school with maybe only a few activities planned, and then driving 8 hours home. Wait for a better time.
What are the driving regulations in all the states you’d be traveling through? Can you drive after dark on your own? Are you allowed to have another teen in the car when you’re driving? Those are important things to know.
What about taking a bus or train? Traveling with a friend who may be interested in the same college (s)? I’m not so sure the plan to visit after decisions are made is a great idea anymore-at least not for those colleges that monitor displays of “interest”.
You sound like a mature and responsible young adult. However, an 8 hour drive is too far alone. Look for another means of transport. Set up Kyak or another airfare search site to stalk a good airfare. Could your Dad’s friend meet you at the airport? Are there any buses that go there from your hometown? Are there other students that you could go with as a group? You are a junior so there is time to go visit. Let your GC know you want to visit and maybe he/she can let you know of some options.
Sorry, I agree with the other parents here. There’s no way my 16 year old is taking an 8 hour drive on his own.
I’ve been driving since 1975, and I can count on one hand I’ve driven more than, say, 4 hours alone. (and the vast majority of even those long rides haven’t technically been “alone”, they’ve been with a van load of sleeping students in the back on the ride home from State finals.)
For what it’s worth, tonight I’m attending a wake for a young man I taught 4 years ago… he fell asleep at the wheel (totally sober, but fell asleep.)
That long a drive alone is dangerous, and that applies to everyone, particularly new drivers. And, on the topic of new drivers, the vast majority of the time you’ve been driving has not been in winter weather. That’s another important issue.
And, for what it’s worth, I want either my husband or myself to see any school my kids are thinking of attending.
I think inviting your aunt along would be a great compromise. I bet she would be thrilled to go. (And, by the way, your dad was willing to go over MLK day, right? Any chance he could take a Monday off in February and go along with you?)
I second the air. My son flew to UChicago by himself and it was fine. I would not have let either of mine drive on their own to tour a college. Unfamiliar roads / routes, potential bad weather, etc. But plane or train both did solo to tour / interview at a couple of schools.
I would actually be fine with a college road trip if
- Winter is absolutely over. No snow.
No ice. Anywhere along the trip route. - There are other colleges to visit so that you would not drive more than 3,4 hours a day. Maybe even just two or three hours the first day.
- You split the driving with friends or relatives whose driving habits I approve.
- You stay with friends, family friends, relatives along the way. Maybe hostels.
- And of course, you call/text at every city or stop over
The only way I would let my child go visit one college that far away in February is if she took a plane or train and then used a shuttle to get to and from campus. No driving.
We parents here paid for a good chuck of college. We wanted to visit the schools too. We would never have sent pit 16 year old high school junior on a college visit requiring an 8 hour drive without US.
For the life of me, I can’t imagine why this can’t wait until your parents can make the trip with you…in April…or even later.
There is no urgency for this trip. You just think it would be nice.
I still vote no. And I can tell you, there is nothing that would convince me otherwise.
In addition, our 16 year old were driving our cars. I would not have allowed an 8 hour road trip to anothet state.
What’s next? A drive to all of those other schools?
Please…what is the urgency here?
And taking a friend passenger…double no to that!
Your parents probably want to see this school as well. Wait intil they can take you.
P.S. A drive from Missouri (is that your home state?) to Vandy on February is not predictable in terms of good weather either.
Absolutely not!
- unsafe to drive that distance on your own as a new driver
- I would NOT send my teen unattended to a college visit that involved staying over at that age, there are too many ways that could go sideways
- why? With D we did visits together until it came down to the post admission scholarship visit then she went on her own - she already knew the places and it was winter senior year when they have organized visit days to stay over. DS goes next week for a second post admission visit to a school that we visited extensively together first. Now he knows the place and the people in his prospective department. He will fly non-stop and cab to his place both of which we have done together.
Sorry, my dear, I am a parent of two teens. No way. Too many what ifs. One day you will understand…when you have teens of your own:-). You will get to Vanderbilt, be patient.
In response to @redwall1521 - asking a friends would NOT make this a more palatable option for a parent. If it is even legal based on your state rules to have two teens together it still makes it less safe in most instances. A second teen is a distraction, your parents have no reason to trust that a friend would be a safe driver, sometimes a buddy in a situation like that can make you less safe because kids can talk each other into things that they might not do on their own. I would definitely not have a 16 year old do any kind of overnight with a friend on a college visit.
@cosar - unless you are staying with friends or camping that trip would not be possible now. Colleges will usually not allow a student who isn’t a senior to stay over and some don’t do sleep over visits at all for liability reasons. Hotels will definitely not rent to kids who are under 18 on their own and many don’t rent to kids who are under 21. We encountered this when our D was traveling for her sport and in planning my 18 year old senior’s solo trip back to a college for this month I had to make some pretty special lodging arrangements for him.
" There is no sense in stressing about an application to a school, or even completing one, if I have never seen it in person." There is no sense in spending three entire days of your life visiting a school you have a good chance to be rejected from anyhow if that visit poses significant logistical problems for your family. You can fill out the application in less time and apply for less money than it will take to do the visit.
Plenty of kids visit colleges after being accepted. I can’t speak specifically to Vanderbilt but but most schools like that have events for accepted students and it is probably easier to arrange to stay overnight in a dorm with current students once you are accepted. I told my own daughter she could visit the schools farthest away from us, that were too far for me to drive her to, when she had an acceptance letter in hand. And she would have flown out and visited alone; it would have been very expensive for us to accompany her. So it’s not about being alone on a visit (and you would be 17 by then).
Sorry, my dear, I am a parent of two teens. No way. Too many what ifs. One day you will understand…when you have teens of your own:-). You will get to Vanderbilt, be patient.
I agree with all of the no’s from the parents on this thread. @thumper1 has a good question… why the urgency? You are a junior. What I am also questioning is the demand for posters’ reasons. Because I said so. I’m sensing a lack of respect for your parents’ authority. You need to take this is baby steps and earn their trust. Don’t demand it or act so impulsively.
I’m all about giving my kids freedom and would allow my DD to drive for 6 hours on a trip we’ve done very summer - familiar roads. But, no way would I send her out on unknown roads, in the winter, on her own, for an 8 hour drive. Parents tend to built up their trust in you pretty quickly. We say yes to something that we would have said no to just 6 months ago. Work up to the trip… go see some colleges closer to your home… first an hour drive, then 2 -3, then build up to a big trip. And, I would definitely require a friend on the road with you when driving more than 2 hours. You have no idea how easy it is to fall asleep at the wheel. It takes experience and maturity to know that.
Good luck! I hope you get into Vandy… it’s obvious you really want it. (By the way, my DD applied to Vandy and it’s one of the few she’s applied to that she has not seen.)
Post #17 - Parents don’t have to explain their reasons. It.is.not.safe.
You are a smart girl - why do you think I believe it is not safe?