<p>Hi, so pretty much my mom died two weeks before my junior year of high school last year. Her case is a bit unique because her doctors at Stanford actually told her she had a week to live right before my sophomore year, and then she lived for a year after that. Everyone I know is telling me that I should write my essay about it, but I have seen a lot of other sources that say not to write about a tragedy, or family death, because it is over done, cliched, etc. I really want my essay to kind of stick out, and not be too sad. Anyone help or advice would be hugely appreciated. </p>
<p>Difficult topics (depression, family death, and general tragedy) are just that: difficult. It’s so easy to end up with an essay that shows simply what you went through and not what you gained from it. I’d tread lightly if you write with that topic. </p>
<p>I think your instincts are right. If your grades slipped or you didn’t have time for ECs due to your mom’s illness and death, you should ask your guidance counselor to mention it in their recommendation. </p>
<p>Even if your grades didn’t slip, I would still write about it to show your strenght and determination to finish high school with high stats. </p>
<p>I am sorry for your lost.</p>
<p>Stories about dying family members can easily turn into “woe-is-me” narratives that the admissions can see through if you don’t convey your message well enough.</p>
<p>If you do decide to write about it, focus less on the death (maybe even not directly mention that she dies at all) and more of what you did with her, personal realization, etc. </p>
<p>Good luck</p>
<p>When I was in high school, my English teacher showed us some sample essays that she thought were well-done, and one of them was about the death of the writer’s father. Of course, just because an English teacher liked it doesn’t necessarily mean it was good, but it’s another data point, for what it’s worth.</p>
<p>I’ve edited application essays professionally, and two people wrote about the death of a parent. My stance on the matter is that the topic is not off-limits, you just have to write about it in a useful way and not fall into common pitfalls, which are pretty much the same common pitfalls for everyone regardless of topic. </p>
<p>For example, both of the aforementioned students’ early drafts said things like, “I was very sad when my father died. I missed him so much” and “The thought that I would never see my mother again was very heartbreaking.” To put it bluntly: Well, DUH. Did you think we thought you weren’t sad that your parent died? We already know that losing a parent is sad and heartbreaking, so tell us things we <em>don’t</em> already know or wouldn’t readily guess. Tell us how it changed you as a person in the long term. Show us that you are, perhaps, more mature or more responsible or more equipped to deal with other hardships or exist in the world in a different way because of your experiences. This is a profoundly life-changing event and you have every right to write about it in your essay (in fact, I bet this is one of the situations they had in mind when they wrote Common App prompt #1, “story so central to their identity” etc.). Just don’t spend your precious word count on stuff like “I was sad that my mother died”; it’s like saying, “The sky is blue” or “I have one head.” We wouldn’t expect anything else to be the case.</p>
<p>^Lol "I have one head’ made me laugh so hard.</p>
<p>But I so agree with the above poster</p>
<p>OP, I am writing about the same topic. My best advice is to not make it a sob story essay. No one wants to read those and trying to make the adcoms feel sorry for you will not work. The best thing to do is briefly mention it (maybe a paragraph of writing) and then describe how you changed because of it. Avoid clichés at all costs! And try and tell a unique story, something no one else can tell. Best of luck!</p>