Hey there! I am in the process of deciding between UVA and Haverford College and was wondering if anyone could help me figure out which school is better for the things I’m looking for. I really like both schools, but I want to gauge which one would be a better fit for me (also waiting back on quite a good amount of decisions).
I’m not completely sure what I want to do, but I’m definitely interested in STEM, math, Spanish, and possibly data analytics. I also have AuDHD meaning I have both ADHD and am autistic. While my support needs are somewhat low, I know that I’m going to need some support in college to get through.
Since I got diagnosed so late with ADHD and autism, I have unfortunately spent most of high school really struggling with sensory difficulties and “shutdowns” (the opposite of autistic meltdowns where an autistic person becomes withdrawn due to being incredibly overwhelmed) where I often become nonverbal/loose my ability to speak because I get so overstimulated.
I go to a pretty competitive high school and it’s been pretty hurtful to watch how differently my peers treat me when I’m “smart”/not burnt out vs when I’m struggling with challenges related to my autism or sometimes ADHD. Don’t get me wrong, I have really great peers who definitely aren’t ableist (many of them participate in the school’s best buddies program), but there just isn’t a lot of awareness in my school regarding autistic people who don’t “look” or “act” stereotypically autistic (note that I’m female, pretty good at masking, and mixed Jewish/Hispanic). I’m also in autistic burnout at the moment, but I’m doing a pretty good job of getting my work done so I’m pretty proud of myself :DDD
Anyway, do any of you guys have an idea of a) how good accommodations are at UVA and Haverford for Nuerodivergent students and b) how accepting each school is of autistic students?
That’s allowed? I thought school’s weren’t allowed to refer you to students. I think I’m going to ask my college counselor at some point if she knows any autistic students at either schools/anyone she can put me in contact with. Hopefully she’ll be able to come up with someone. Either way thanks for you advice
Congrats! What a good choice to get to make! I’m a sophomore at another liberal arts school that’s a lot like Haverford, and I have good friends at UVA and Haverford. My sense is that the Haverford students get more individual attention from profs than most students at UVA. My friends at UVA ended up in a bunch of huge classes where they felt anonymous, and my friend at Haverford has been in smaller classes where they feel more valued as an individual. And I’m sure you know, the trusting relationship at Haverford between profs and students is really special (like people doing take home tests, etc, which I imagine is probably more conducive towards trust in general).
I get the sense that a many of the profs at liberal arts schools like mine/Haverford are pretty open minded and want to support students – especially post-Covid – and that even though many profs at UVA are like this, the larger classes can make it tougher.
Granted, the community of people at UVA would be way bigger, which might be what you want. I’m not sure about Haverford’s accommodations in particular. I’m obviously biased towards Haverford and the liberal arts schools haha
The advice about reaching out to Accessibility/ Accommodations Offices is great! I do think most would put you in touch with a student leader/ student worker, or someone from the office at least could send you info. Also, many campuses have orgs/clubs that center accessibility. You can look around on their websites and find the names of clubs which might include emails. I’d encourage you to go for it an email them – the students who run the groups do so because they care and wanna help support people! If you’re curious what the community is like and want something more casual, most of these groups have Instagram accounts that you could find and dm
Whichever school you choose, make sure to get accommodations in place, preferably with a visit to that office before you start school, before the end of 12th grade, so that you can easily get paperwork transferred over. As for social support, you will likely find your people through your shared interests. To that end, I think that you might be better off at a larger school, where just by statistics there are more likely to be a higher number of neurodivergent people. I’d be concerned that you’d feel socially isolated at Haverford, with its very small student body.
As @tsbna44 noted, most admissions offices have student ambassadors, and there is often interaction with prospective students beyond the college tour. As examples, various of the collegekids have interacted with student ambassdors by: spending the night in their dorm room; going to classes with a student; getting a post card or phone call after acceptance to say ‘welcome’ or ‘do you have any questions?’, etc. (which one differed by collegekid and by college).
So, reaching out to admissions and asking if they have a student you could talk to is entirely reasonable. Of course the answer might be no! but it might also be yes. Now that they have said ‘yes’ to you, they want you to say ‘yes’ to them.
In general big schools will have more resources on paper, and will have a bigger range of people (so not only are you more likely to find fellow travelers but no one person’s differences are going to stand out quite as much), but the scale of the system itself means that it can sometimes be harder to navigate / require more self-advocacy. in general the smaller the school the more limited the available resources, and the more important the ‘fit’ of the campus culture will be.
So irl, the biggest variable is the fit between you and the school, and this is a moment in life when you have to trust yourself over everything else. The campus cultures of UVa & Haverford are nearly polar opposites. Which one feels right to you? If your accommodation needs are modest, a bigger Accommodations office is less important- but how you feel in your skin as you walk around campus is critical. On your revisits, look around and think about where you would go if you were starting to feel overwhelmed?
Thanks for the advice, @swallowtail swallowtail. In all honestly, I’m leaning toward Haverford just because it is more likely to give me personalized attention and closer relationships with my professors. I also really like how flexible Haverford is with testing. The testing environment can be overstimulating for me to the point where it can be difficult for me to take tests unless I am outside my classroom in a quiet place with noise-canceling headphones (we love a good auditory sensory issue lol). While UVA is a fantastic school, larger class sizes can be overwhelming for me which can lead me to “shut down” and appear withdrawn from the classroom (this also impacts my ability to advocate for myself and reach out to teachers). I still want to give UVA a fair chance though, so I’m definitely going to be talking to their admission office. Also, I should mention that a close ADHDer friend of mine is at UVA and absolutely LOVES the school, so it sounds like UVA can definitely be a place for ND people to thrive in :DD
I definitely agree with you @collegemom3717! To be honest, it has been difficult for me to gauge my support needs because unfortunately many adults in my life have refused to believe (and many still do!) that I am “really” autistic because I lack the behavioral outbursts “typically” associated with autistic people and do pretty well on the social and academic front. I’m currently working on figuring out the level of support in aspects of my life most affected by my autism, but it sounds like I really should have everything done/figured out before high school ends
Also, for the student ambassador, I’m not sure if this counts, but my interviewer at Haverford was a Senior at the school and contacted me after I got in to congratulate me. She was super sweet and also mentioned that she would be down with answering any questions I had about the school! I might take her up on that offer.
“Support” comes in a lot of forms. Differentiate between the technical support and the community support.
On the technical front: what are the rules/processes/policies for getting accommodations? what accommodations are typically offered (often there is a set list of standard ones that are pretty easy to get, but unusual ones may- reasonably!- take more work). Phone the office of accommodations at both places with very specific questions. That should tell you 2 things: 1) how close they can come to meeting your needs and 2) how easy/hard it will be to get them put in place.
The other is community support, and that is where fit comes in, One of the collegekids needed some specific accommodations, and once those were made by the uni the only “support” she needed was from her friends. She only ever saw the accommodations team twice- once at the beginning to get the accommodations put in place and once at the end to return some equipment they had given her. But over the course of the first year (it didn’t happen the first day/week/month) she developed a great group of pals who were there for each other, and learned what each other needed when things got tough. That kind of trust takes a time- but years later, now living in widely different places, they still show up for each other.
At the end of the day, you are the one who will be living in that place, part of that community, so truly trust yourself: where do you feel comfortable. Think of it like shoes: your foot is your foot. If the shoe doesn’t fit, it doesn’t matter how great it looks, or how many other people think it’s super comfy - it just doesn’t fit you and you are the one going for a long hike in it.
@parentologist one of my concerns with Haverford is definitely the isolation that comes with the “Haverbubble,” thanks for bringing that up! In regards to any social support, I don’t think I would really need a whole lot of support. I do pretty well on the social front in the sense that I’m extroverted and often described as being really friendly (my friends joke that I’m trying to earn an ‘A’ in friendship lol) albeit pretty awkward.
You sound a lot like my daughter. She didn’t apply to UVA bc of size. She mostly applied to relatively small LACs and a few public schools (incl Mary Washington and W&M in VA). We felt most of the VA schools (in state) were too big or not a good fit.
Agree 100 percent with what others have said about accommodations and working with the Office of Disabilities at whatever school you choose. There are some good books / resources if you need any suggestions- just holler. Congrats and best of luck!!
Check the clubs at both schools. When visiting one of the schools S23 applied to I noticed that not only was there a neurodiversity club, but that certain orientation events were marked as “sensory friendly”. One of their most highlighted/ prominent professors also happens to be autistic, so perhaps that contributed to the neurodiverse-friendly culture.
@vwlizard that’s super cool! Please let me know what school that was that sounds awesome. I actually founded an ND club at my school, so I would love to attend a school that already has one of those clubs!
Agree! I think this is key for someone with learning differences.
The resources they offer (or don’t) and the ease to obtain services can make all the difference in success especially with executive functioning. It’s important that there is a good relationship between the office of disabilities and professors. More favorable to have Professors who are more aware, educated and empathetic.
Also, look at whether the university overall tends to have a reputation as a supportive environment for special need students. There are some schools known exactly for this that many students specifically seek out and vice versa.
IMO, a smaller school tends to be more conducive for kids on the spectrum/ADHD due to less stimulation/crowds, smaller classes, individual attention and less likely to fall through the crack. But I also recognize personal preference and comfort level is important as well.
