<p>So this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. Do you think that parents or students should make the ultimate call on where a student goes to school? On the one hand, its about where the student will be happy, but on the other the parents are the ones paying for the education, and their voice should be heard. Just wondering, as I was having this debate myself....</p>
<p>it isn’t so black and white. </p>
<p>Depends on the family, and the finances…</p>
<p>My daughter had a college fund and could afford 4 of her options.<br>
We advised.
She decided.</p>
<p>My DS knows exactly how much we, as parents, can pay for 4 years. The college choice is his, as long as he goes to a school that is accredited.</p>
<p>In our family it is absolutely the kids choice … full disclosure, with a caveat, we have veto power over paying for an absolutely bizarre plan (I want to go to school X which has a 10 year $100,000/yr clown program where you pledge to give all earning back to the school … umm, we’re not paying for that one).</p>
<p>If finances allow, the student should make the decision, but the student shouldn’t make any decision that the parents would have an extremely difficult time paying for. The parents should probably also intercede if the reasons for choosing a college seem arbitrary (like staying with a boyfriend/girlfriend).</p>
<p>it’s difficult to say what’s right. For my bro, He got into several good engineering school. He wanted to go to VaTech, because its where his highschool GF was going. Our father said no. Because he thinks VT is crap(misguided old man) and because bro got into GaTech and UIUC. Suffice it to say, they broke up after 2 years, bro got depressed, didn’t do so well, dropped engineering, so on so on. It’s a difficult dynamic because dad is paying for it, but bro is not thankful because it is not what he wanted(VT would have cost much less), in fact he feels like it is more or less a punishment.</p>
<p>For me, I was deciding between WM and UVa. I’ve ended up with UVa. On initial impression i liked WM (it seemed like a better personality fit), but i could not convince my father. Oh well, I guess i like UVa, too. We’ll see how that turns out…</p>
<p>one problem with my father, probably with many other in high SES, is that he is very focused on rankings. “UVa is 25, WM is 33.” sort of business. He would rather me go to expensive oos or private schools than WM. It comes from his job, where he hires a lot of PhD’s and his first screening of applicants is based on grad school rankings. He really likes to hire people from MIT and Cornell :P</p>
<p>Personally? I think that the kid SHOULD have more choice, especially if the financial situation is the same at each place. But I understand that if the parents are paying full freight, then some negotiation is required.</p>
<p>Parents set a budget on what they can afford to contribute. Student can choose from within that budget. Student should know that EFC does not mean the college or university will cover the rest. Student should know that reaches will likely not give merit aid, matches might, and safeties need to include financial safeties. Student works from within those guidelines to apply, and to choose from.</p>
<p>as ps to what I wrote…</p>
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<p>I recommend having the conversation with your parent(s) or child, rather than by yourself!</p>
<p>I think children should ultimately make the decision, and he/she should be responsible enough to make a decision that his/her family can afford. There is no use having a parent make the decision when the child is the one attending for four years or more. If the child hates the college, he/she will be MISERABLE for the time they spend there.</p>
<p>My parents allowing me to chose where I wanted to go and where I even applied. They told it was my decision because I was the one going there. Granted, they guided me to less expensive options, but once financial aid for some of my private schools evened out the playing field (with an In State public school), they gave me full reign. Ultimately, I chose a private university who offered me lots of financial aid, and I’m so happy they let ME decide my future. I love Wake Forest and I can’t wait to go in the fall. Go Deacs!</p>
<p>I have been having it with my parents, and without going into too much detail, the choice will probably fall on me. One of the schools they can afford, and the other I would have to take out about $90,000 in loans. They couldn’t pay for that $90,000, so I’m not going to ask them to. That school will completely change my life, I’m just not sure if its worth it, and they really don’t think I should take the loans, so I came here to ask for further opinions</p>
<p>Yes, $90K of debt will change your life, but not for the better. No school is worth that.</p>
<p>in post #4 I said the kid picks … that meant picking among the affortable options … as parents we would not co-sign on loans beyond the the regular students loans (about $20k of loans) … it would be very hard to describe a situation where I’d recommend a student taking out $90k of loans for undergrad.</p>
<p>flightlessbird,</p>
<p>You can’t borrow that kind of money without a co-signer. Unless you have a co-signer you are limited to the Stafford Loan maximums each year, which will come to a total of $27,000 for all four years. So, your “life changing” school that would leave you with a total of $90,000 in debt means that you need to convince someone to commit themselves to pay off $53,000 of debt for your education if you can’t pay it off yourself. Since your parents can’t afford that school in the first place, I take it that they can’t afford this level of debt. Which means that it isn’t likely at all that you are going to find anyone to co-sign.</p>
<p>Go to the affordable school. You can have “life changing” experiences elsewhere, and in many cases, for a lot less than what would leave you with that level of debt.</p>
<p>For more fun reading on the topic of student debt, visit [Project</a> on Student Debt: Home](<a href=“http://www.projectonstudentdebt.org%5DProject”>http://www.projectonstudentdebt.org) and click on the tab labeled “voices”. For ideas on just exactly what loan payments could look like for the amounts you are considering, see [FinAid</a> | Calculators | Loan Calculator](<a href=“Your Guide for College Financial Aid - Finaid”>Loan Payment Calculator - Finaid)</p>
<p>Are you sure about that? I have family that had to take out loans to pay for their entire graduate school, and I’m sure that amounted to significantly more than $27,000. But thanks for the advice. So you guys would overall recommend choosing a school like USC over a school like Harvard and graduating with debt?</p>
<p>^^^grad school students are older than a 17-18 year-old freshman (usually mid 20s or so), and have adequate employment to not require a cosigner.</p>
<p>And yes, I think USC is a better choice than Harvard if you have to have that much debt.</p>
<p>If you have to pay that much for Harvard then your family is very well off. They won’t pay for any of it?</p>
<p>Back before Yale and Harvard reorganized their financial aid programs, curmudgeon’s daughter turned down Yale for a full-ride elsewhere. She now is in med school at Yale, so clearly that financial decision did not ruin her life. I can’t find the original thread, but if you send a PM, I’m sure curmudgeon will be happy to share more details.</p>
<p>I may be a weird teenager for saying this…</p>
<p>…but in general–IN GENERAL–the parents are right. Or at least, my parents are right, and so are the parents of most of my friends. Since it’s ultimately the student’s life, of course the student should get the final say. However, I think parents should have almost as much of a role in the decision. After all, even disregarding whether or not they pay for college, parents know the student almost as well as the student knows him/herself, and parents have the added advantage of knowing much, much more about the world.</p>
<p>If the student can afford the college without financial assistance from his/her parents then the student gets to decide. To the extent that financial assistance is required then the parents get to decide whether they will pay for for their child’s choice. If not, then the son/daughter will have to make a different choice.</p>
<p>My parents refused to contribute to my college costs so I took out loans and earned some scholarships. I attended a CUNY school and lived at home. At the time, I was bitter but life worked out as it should.</p>
<p>My DD got into some private and some state schools. I told her I would help her to the extent possible BUT I would not take out any parent loans because I have other children to send to college. My daughter opted for the state school that gave her money. She has gotten some FA, became an RA her second year, has a job and has earned scholarships from her school. So far, I have been able to pay the difference and she has not had to take out loans.</p>
<p>We left the decision to her but with full disclosure of financial parameters.</p>
<p>We are entering the college season with our next child. He’s a very different kid but is also money conscious. We are in a bracket where we would be pretty much full pay for Ivies and other top schools but because of our household situation, we can not pay anywhere near that. We have no college funds set up. He is thinking about an OOS public college.</p>