Deciding on a college - parents or students?

<p>^^be very careful with an OOS public; many of them are more $$ than some privates…</p>

<p>Overall I agree, but I’m also thinking about a different situation. This isn’t my situation but a friend of mine’s: What about the difference between a top 10 undergrad business school, and a top 30 national university. Money aside, lets say parents want the well rounded education and the student wants the practicality of a business school. This student will get immense practical value out of business school, and with almost 100% certainty have better job opportunities straight out of college, but will miss out on certain liberal arts classes. What do you think should happen?</p>

<p>^I question your premise. </p>

<p><a href=“MoneyWatch: Financial news, world finance and market news, your money, product recalls updated daily - CBS News”>MoneyWatch: Financial news, world finance and market news, your money, product recalls updated daily - CBS News;

<p>In our family it’s a mix. My boys know we will not pay for any ultra liberal school (liberal turned conservative by life experiences here) nor any that are far below their stats academically (the prof can only teach to the level of their students). We also prefer east of the Mississippi, but that is negotiable. This leaves them a wide range of options to choose from for applications.</p>

<p>Final decisions are made with finances in mind, but oldest got his first choice school.</p>

<p>As a student, the choice was mine. As a parent, the choice will be mine. </p>

<p>College isn’t what is used to be. A student can not work his/her way through school the way we could 20 years ago. My kids at age 17 & 18 just will not be able to understand the stress and limitations debt will cause. This isn’t to mean I don’t want my kids to have any say. I plan to give my kids a list of 30-50 schools which are either affordable or traditionally offer enough FA/merit that it is a realistic choice.</p>

<p>I hate the parents who permit the kids to have complete choice in the application process and then take away the choice in the final deposit due to $. My objective is to not permit my kids to fall in love with a school that can not realistically be a choice for our family.</p>

<p>If my kids disagree, well they have the choice to wait until they are 25 before going to college and no longer need me to fill out FA forms.</p>

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Now you’ve done it - you need to have an argument with your parents AND all of us parents! It (WHATEVER school it is) isn’t worth $90,000 in debt. That will really limit your choices when you graduate. (Job vs grad school, low-paying dream job vs high-paying job that doesn’t really turn you on, etc.)</p>

<p>@Z.Exodus2008 – awww, you made my day. :)</p>

<p>Picking a college for a student can be like picking a car for a student.</p>

<p>On one hand, the child has some needs/wants…and on the other the parents are paying and have their concerns. The child has to consider the family budget, and the parents have to consider what will work for their child. </p>

<p>Rarely, can a child just pick out any car the child dreams about and the parents just write the check. Same with college.</p>

<p>It seems to me that a parent has two valid roles: (1) Determining how much THE PARENT is willing to pay, and (2) Stopping a child from making a really dumb financial decision (i.e., huge loans). </p>

<p>Within those parameters, IMO, it should be the child’s decision. It’s the child’s life that’s going to be affected by where the child goes to college, not the parent’s; and if the child is mature enough to go off to college and handle college work, then he or she is mature enough to decide how to select a college. Will they make mistakes? Yes, but making mistakes and learning from them is part of life.</p>

<p>That doesn’t mean a parent can’t be involved in helping the child make the decision and making sure the child has considered all the appropriate questions. But the ultimate call should be the child’s; and once that call is made, the parent should do everything possible to help the child be successful.</p>

<p>DD has been advised that she is required to apply to in-state academic/financial safeties, and that if none of her other (pricey) LACs come through with sufficient financial and merit aid, she will be attending a safety. She is determined not to attend a state safety school, and I am equally determined that we won’t be saddled with enormous debt. I have also steered her to a school that I think will admit her, award her the best aid, and ultimately be a better match for her than her current favorite school.</p>

<p>DD is not being forced to apply to schools known for good aid, but she understands that of any schools to which she is admitted that the aid package will have great bearing on where she attends. No geographic limitations. To me, that is a good compromise for families like ours with limited means.</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1125808-remind-me-again-why-we-cant-tell-our-seniors-what-do.html?highlight=again+why[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1125808-remind-me-again-why-we-cant-tell-our-seniors-what-do.html?highlight=again+why&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Many OOS publics will be as expensive as privates, and not very generous with financial aid to OOS students (although some, like Virginia Tech, are significantly less expensive for OOS students than other publics and privates). Research carefully before applying.</p>

<p>I think it should be the student who makes the final call, but that’s because I’m a student. My parents are obsessed with me going to either an Ivy or a Swiss tech school, and are angry that I want to apply to other schools too. They don’t really get the American college process. </p>

<p>More importantly, who makes the final call on a major? My dad is firm on claiming he will withdraw financial support if I become a philosophy major, haha. I don’t want to major in philosophy, but I don’t want to major in mechanical engineering like he wants me to, either.</p>

<p>^That is SO sad. A family I know, the father told his 3 kids he’d only finance their college if they got technical degrees. One S responded by blowing off college and joining the Navy. His D moved in with a bf at 18, went to a CC, and eventually earned a degree PT. She hasn’t spoken to her F in years.</p>

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<p>Your father does not realize that many of the top schools for mechanical engineering in the US are not Ivies?</p>

<p>Why does he want you to major in mechanical engineering, and what do you want to major in?</p>

<p>Thats pretty much my point. I think the student should be able to choose where to go and what to study for the most part, although I am most definitely biased as a student myself. </p>

<p>Also, SchweizKid, just have your dad look up Peter Thiel on wikipedia. He studied philosophy in college and is now worth well over a billion dollars.</p>