If you are willing to pay full price at in state public, then say so when he applied. If you are looking for the lowest bidder for his education, then say so when he applies. If you say you’ll pay full price at 3 in states, then start to pressure him to take the low cost one of the three, you can’t blame a kid for being frustrated with you.
Part of my point is if YOU force a chouce he would not have made, a kid will often consider it your choice and not theirs, with consequences that can last a long time. The best scenario is when parents set cost boundaries (ideally before apps go in), then get out of their kid’s way for the decision part. You sure can go to accepted visits with them and offer an opinion on the benefits or downsides of a given choice. Some parents give financial incentives (pick the less expensive option and they will fund a summer abroad or provide some money for grad school). Some set limits — “we can only afford school X if you get a scholarship that brings the cost down to X.” But not letting the kid decide within a set of parameters often has poor results. And it Is a lot better if the parameters are set early in the process. Of course stuff changes — job loss, illness, etc. But if nothing changes, then you should know how much you saved and what you can afford going in.
I hear what you’re saying intparent. If you are forcing a kid to accept an offer of admission to a school that he is just not that into vs a school that he has fallen in love with - that would be a difficult situation for all concerned. It really becomes a matter of weighing the pros and cons of the two offers. Of course it doesn’t all boil down to which one is the cheapest. You need to weigh the practical factors along with the attributes of both schools.
We are lucky that our son qualifies for our state’s FL Bright Futures program which offers 75%-100% of fees/tuition at in state schools. It’s a wonderful incentive to stay in state.
Probably need more information to give great advice but…you said there’s no clear #1 (sounds familiar in our home) but can you say there’s some near definite schools that don’t fit well? Without knowing where the schools are geographically, I’d say to visit 6 in the next month sounds rough if it involves multiple flights and stress. I wouldn’t necessarily look at selectivity as much as value and differentiators (like grad school acceptance rates, internships nearby, teaching scores, college bubble fit, strength of program in chosen majors, reputation). I’d let your and your student’s heart have a say too.
Being offered a scholarship at a school that was #2 or #3 or even #5 can change the entire decision process. On another thread a family is deciding between Hopkins and GaTech, with GaTech offering the Stamps scholarship. That brings a lot of perks with it, so it’s not all about the money and whether the family can afford it.
I know two kids who are at the USMA. Extremely wealthy family, so it wasn’t a case of the family setting a budget before the college search.
One thing I find very interesting to do to get a feel for the vibe of a school is to read the student newspaper, which can usually be found online these days. Another thing is to do an apples to apples comparison of a specific thing that matters to you, so that you can get some level of the type of support services that are available. For example, maybe look at the Study Abroad or the Career Counseling page of the website of each college, one after the other. Putting those small pieces in a side by side comparison can sometimes be revealing. I know these are just little suggestions, but hopefully they help. I agree it’s hard to weigh costs and value and to figure out fit when you can’t realistically visit all schools. Good luck! Happy for your family that you have good options!
We had a bunch under 30K and a couple over 40K. We eliminated the over 40K and I told my DD to pick from any of the 30Ks. She picked the most expensive of the under 30K *(but graduated in 2.5 years with a couple of summer classes).
Then pick 2 or 3 of the favorite and go to admitted students day.
I’ve just started applying for colleges, but I’ve seen my sister go through the process. Early on, my parents communicated that they will not pay for college, but will help in any way that they can.
My sister’s decision then became “are you willing to go into debt (probably for most of your life) for this college?” Even if you plan on paying for your child’s college, I would ask them this question and let them really consider the implications of an extra $40,000. If they would be willing to pay off that sort of debt, then go with what your child feels the most comfortable with, but if not then chances are it is not the best option for them.
This could be their home for the next four years, so it is important that your child feels secure in order to succeed.
Students simply are not allowed to borrow that sort of money for undergrad --so $40K isn’t an option for an 18-year-old, unless parents are willing to cosign a loan. I think the max right now is around $28K for over 4 years.
Cosigning is a really bad idea for both parents & child. Bad for the parents because a cosigner is taking full responsibility for the debt, so if the parents have good credit they really would be better off taking the loan in their own names. And if the parents are unwilling to do that, then they shouldn’t be cosigning either.
And bad for the student because it simply is too much to borrow for undergrad. The student is likely to run into problems with repayment, and unlike the federal direct loans, the private loans do not have protections such as income-based repayment.