I tried searching for threads on dealing with anxiety over waiting on decisions. My older son was happy with an early action acceptance and they offered good money so it all seemed relatively easy compared to what we are going through now.
Our second son is waiting for April 1st for some top School decisions. In the mean time we are going through the “semi-finalist”, “finalist” “interview” process for scholarships and a few other schools.
Which all means that we don’t have any idea what choices he will be looking at until March and April. I just want to blink my eyes and wake up two months from now.
I’m wondering how many others are feeling this way.
Been there, done that. As a mom of a freshman, the pain is still fresh. Just love and support on your end. Two months may seem like forever, but you will actually be able to laugh about it this time next year. I know we had a good chuckle about the process when my D was home from Christmas break.
My D was an early acceptance at her one and only choice. You were lucky the first time around. Your situation with S2 seems more the norm, unfortunately.
Thanks for the good wishes. from your keyboard to God’s ears on the scholarship offers coming in. s far we have had a few disappointments. I wish he had been more interested in some of the automatic national merit sponsor schools.
Cannot worry about things that are NOT in your control. As simple as that.
There are going to be much more brutal situations in kids’ lives that you will not have any control over. The only advice I can think about to give to my kids / grandkids, choose whatever and stick to it, never look back. Whatever choice is, the rest will be up to a kid, not the place. Being proactive and making the best in any place/environment is a solution for everything.
So, go swimming, running, gym, focus on yourself, you will be needed very very much in many years ahead. Mine will be done with her Grad. school this year, she still needs me a lot, so take care of what you could - your own self and worrying is not the way to do it.
BTW, we are waiting for the decision after brutal application process that cannot be compared with anything in the past, not even close. Well, there will be no choices, D. will either have a spot or will not. She is 25. So, save your worries for the future.
Good advice. Unfortunately, I cannot silence the internal voice that wonders if I missed some school that would have been a good choice, and wonder “well he was accepted, but I won’t be able to pay for that school.” It will pass, but I feel like I am being slow tortured waiting for April 1st.
I try to remind myself that these are ‘lucky people’ problems - the kind of problem you are happy to worry about because you live in a safe place, everyone you care about is healthy, your financial future isn’t a mess, your marriage isn’t crumbling, etc…Lots of people don’t have the luxury of making their primary anxiety about about whether their kid will get into his/her preferred school. It helps me keep perspective.
My older S is a music major and was still doing auditions in February. He got admitted to one college in January but still had to audition for entrance to the music school and would never have gone there without the music program. He got all 4 final decisions on March 31. It was a little nerve racking, but we were pretty sure the range of schools he applied to would get him in somewhere. Once the auditions were done he was totally cool.
My D is going to be an art major and it is almost as bad for them. Most of the art schools have Feb. 1 or 2 application deadlines, though a few have rolling admissions. All of them wait unti late March or April for scholarship decisions. D has been accepted at 3 schools, still waiting for a fourth and won’t know until March 31 on that one. We are still deciding whether to apply to a few more this week. Many of her friends applied ED and already know where they are going. She did not feel strongly enough about any one school to apply ED. It’s a little annoying but she is handling it pretty well.
YES! It doesn’t seem to phase my son because he is incredibly busy at school and doesn’t talk about the schools much as he did all he can do at this point, and it’s just on me to finish the financial stuff. I have had MANY sleepless nights and even a nightmare or two…the waiting is killing me, and I am hoping it doesn’t cause me even more gray hair…sigh…he’s had a slew of EA acceptances which I thought would ease my worry but now we are waiting on two RD decisions with almost two months to go still …it’s not over til it’s over, and my son is so meticulous he wants to review ALL the offers at once!
@Rdtsmith , you expressed exactly what I was trying to say. We have 6 EA acceptances but two are super safeties, and two are schools that i was hoping for scholarships but he’s out if the running for now. Waiting on some other scholarships also. The financial uncertainty is hardest for me.
Been there with my now in college kid and it was no fun. A lot of stress. This time around, we did a lot of early apps and the ED choice panned out so my son is done. But even if ED didn’t work out, he was done because he was so done with it all that he was all set to go to an EA school that accepted him and forget the RD apps.
Two of his closest friends are having a rough time now as one was deferred and the other rejected outright from their early choices, and they did not apply to any spares. So it was a miserable holiday season as they had to do all of their RD apps. Now it’s a tense time. I’m sure they’ll get into some great school, have some good choices, but it’s scary for them and their parents. They were the type of students that got just about everything they sought up to now. I am so glad we are done, and I am done, as this is my last one to apply to college from high school.
It was a stressful time, especially since DS’s schedule was chock full of IB projects and ECs/travel. But I had plenty to keep me busy on research, FA paperwork etc. This year he is a college senior, and I’ll admit to loosing some sleep during his job hunt / interviews / decisions. This time his decisions don’t impact the family pocketbook
Both D and I had hoped she’d get into her EDII school, honestly more because of the stress than anything. It wasn’t her #1 choice but it was definately one of the most prestigious on her list and came in the least expensive on the NPC by far (and in her top 5). She would have got a superior education at less than half the cost of any other school on her list. It was probably #4 on her list, but the only one she could apply ED due to financial restraints. So…let the stress continue ugg.
OP, I completely understand. My only advice (which I try to tell myself as well) is to remember that we are likely only going to have them around the house for a few more months. I’m trying not to wish the time away, enjoy what we have, be thankful that she will be for sure going somewhere, and hope for the best.
What’s driving us a little crazy is the different levels of communication from the schools. One EA acceptor sends 2 emails a week, telling him to “Reply Today!” as if not doing so could cause certain disaster. Then, even though he has replied 4 times that he is still interested but not committed, another email comes asking the same thing! It feels like the admissions office is completely unconnected to the Constant Contact email service. I really want him to strongly consider that school but he’s feeling a lot of stress from the barrage.
And though he was accepted in December, you still have to wait until March for official visits. I wish there were accepted student days in Jan or Feb. That would be really helpful and would take away some of the last minute pressure.
Others schools have gone totally dark, even their CC pages are paralyzed. How about a little love, like once a month while he waits for RD? Meanwhile, we have poured out our hearts and deepest financial secrets on the CSS Profile to them, perhaps only to receive an admissions denial.
Another school has even more decisions to make, extra programs to apply to, and living communities to decipher. Yikes! I tossed it all in a box to review on the plane ride there.
Several are just right. We get attractive envelopes from time to time, and appropriate updates on email etc.
Kudos to SMU, USC and Oklahoma for having just the right touch!
Of course, the time will pass and everyone will be at Orientation before we know it. I’m trying to remind myself to enjoy these last few months we have them at home full time!
I am right there with you on the drip, drip, drip nature of the process at times. DS just got an admission letter to his program yesterday at his favorite school. He got the academic admission in December with academic $$$ but had to audition still. That acceptance just came and now has to wait on possible audition $$$. After that it is the wait on other FA. He has another where the program acceptance came before the academic in mid December. Academic came once a few weeks ago then a second letter this week - no $$$ yet. Then yesterday an email to say that he is in the pool for $$$ consideration so hold tight. His other schools they release everything at once so 3 more completely out.
The hardest part is not being able to get too excited about the favorite school yet while waiting for the $$$ shoe to drop.
