<p>It's getting down to crunch time and you've got some decisions to make.</p>
<p>Let's say You KNOW you won't be attending school A. You have a scholarship weekend invitation to school B, but are unlikely to attend, even if you get the scholarship, because you've just received an offer they can't beat/you can't refuse at More Selective College C. Even More Selective colleges D and E haven't yet sent a decision.</p>
<p>Is it polite/expected/mandatory to inform College A and B that you won't be attending? If so, when's the right time? Or is it standard protocol to indicate a decision NOT to attend a specific school by simply failing to send a deposit?</p>
<p>Can one deposit at College C, then later opt to attend College D or E (losing deposit, of course)? Or is it like Early Decision where depositing means having to withdraw all other applications?</p>
<p>As soon as you know you won't be attending a school and don't want to continue with the process, let them know. You free up slots - to some extent - for others who genuinely do want to go, and save lots of people lots of headaches, postage, and labor.</p>
<p>Of course, sometimes it can be to your advantage to stick with the process solely to try to negotiate a better financial aid offer using the financial aid from a lower school as bargaining power. The effectiveness of this strategy is somewhat debatable however.</p>
<p>DC makes the most salient point: others are waiting in line, and then others after them. As soon as you're decided, do your share and move the process along for others. Being accepted and simply not informing them is NOT the way to go. Congrats, BTW</p>
<p>I'd reccomend that you tell college A/B that you most likely will not be attending, but don't flat out refuse them, just in case. As for a deposit, wait till you hear back from D and E, but feel free to tell C you're interested.</p>
<p>SuperMom, Usually in the acceptance letter they send you there will be a checkbox for "no, I do not wish to attend the University of X, because I am attending _________." (It's likely much smaller than the box saying "Yes! I would love to attend the University of X! Enclosed is my $YYY deposit." If that's an option, send that letter back to them.</p>
<p>OK -- took the advice and had D politely decline spaces where she won't be attending. But still seeking an answer to the second part of the original post:</p>
<p>What's the common wisdom re: depositing at one place, then receiving later results that cause a change of heart? Is this done? Can it be done? Is it unethical?</p>
<p>Or is there some secret inter-collegiate communication vehicle that Red Leter Stamps ones' acceptance precluding further application consideration elsewhere?</p>
<p>It does happen that kids change their minds. I think it's acceptable to deposit at one school, then notify that school that you've changed your mind, and deposit at another. After all, that's what happens when kids get in off waitlists. In this situation, the kid is only saying Yes to one school at a time.</p>
<p>The ethically unacceptable thing to do is to refuse to make up your mind, and deposit to two schools at once so that you can "hold your place" after the May 1 deadline. In this situation, the kid is saying Yes to two schools at once, but knowing that he or she can only attend one.</p>
<p>Sending a deposit when you aren't certain you'll attend is frowned upon. It's better to ask a school to extend their deposit due date until May 1 so that you can consider other potential admissions offers.</p>
<p>Thanks lje! Still wondering whether a decision to accept is like ED, ethically requiring a decision to withdraw other apps. I like Chedva's take however! :)</p>
<p>The thing is: I hear housing, class registration, and all sorts of other stuff is done on a "first paid, first served" basis. That makes it hard not to deposit at a school your kid's 99% sure of.</p>
<p>"The thing is: I hear housing, class registration, and all sorts of other stuff is done on a "first paid, first served" basis. That makes it hard not to deposit at a school your kid's 99% sure of."</p>
<p>SuperMom<em>I</em>Aint: Bascially, depositing is NOT like ED, because people get off of waitlists, end up winning special merit awards, have changes of heart, etc, and therefore change their decisions all the time--the most you will lose if you withdraw is your deposit money. It's polite not to accept somewhere your D is not 100% sure of, but when your D's future housing, classes, etc. are on the line, many (including myself) would say that it is acceptable to hang politness and play the system a little, because the system is unfair to those who haven't heard back from all their schools/still have to make up their minds.</p>
<p>However, you should def. make sure that your D's 99% sure school IS one of the schools that has a "first pay, first served" basis, because while many schools do have such a system, many others do not.</p>