Decision to be made

<p>Well my D was accepted at Smith and offered a small scholarship, which I think is fabulous, but she was also offered a larger scholarship and the honors program at Northeastern Univ. in Boston. My husband is leaning toward the money, I'm leaning toward Smith with its reputation and very individualized environment. And we are both having a hard time allowing this to be D's decision. Once the letters came, suddenly my H decided he didn't think we could afford Smith, especially when Northeastern offered more scholarship money. I think we can afford it, but it is an investment for sure. Any insight between the two schools? And, yes, I know it's like comparing a really small apple and a pretty large orange.</p>

<p>There is no comparison between Smith and Northeastern academically. At Smith your daughter will get her (your) money's worth in the quality of the programs and professors, the wealth of advice and personal attention in whatever activities she becomes involved in, the exceptional involvement of alumnae in supporting students while they are at the college and in helping them find employment afterwards, and the range and quality of extracurricular trimmings, from poetry readings by the likes of Seamus Heaney to lunchtime seminars on "Women and Financial Independence" (alone worth the price of admission!).</p>

<p>My husband went to Northeastern for graduate work and has nothing good to say about it. Of course that was a long time ago, but nonetheless...</p>

<p>The ultimate decision belongs to your daughter. If she really needs to have guys around (a legitimate concern that I also had about Smith), and if she really wants to be in Boston, and if Northeastern happens to have a good program in a field she wants to pursue (I believe they have a well-regarded criminology department), then by all means she should go to Northeastern. But Northeastern is in a more gritty part of Boston, so unless she has a lot of street smarts and a strong taste for the urban lifestyle, she may find it hard to adjust to. Northampton, by contrast, is a very cool small city.</p>

<p>My daughter is a first-year at Smith, and it has been just about the perfect match for her. She has been radiantly happy there this year.</p>

<p>Short-range, you may save money at Northeastern. But long-range, I think you'd do much better at Smith.</p>

<p>Tough question, and one our famliy faced exactly three years ago. Full pay at Smith vs. honors program with scholarship at a much larger state school. Complicated by the fact that my husband, by far our larger wage earner, lost his job between D's application and acceptance. We got no fin aid because previous income had been high. </p>

<p>We let D decide, which she did after visiting the state school and then attending an accepted students tea in our area. She decided to do Smith in three years to save some money - turns out she's doing it in 3 1/2 to get in some extra classes, (hubby now re-employed, fortunately) but still...
None of us has any regrets.</p>

<p>It was an excellent match. We have seen our D blossom there. </p>

<p>My theory on kids is a gardening one: some are marigolds and will bloom in any soil. Others are orchids and are more sensitive to their environment. An orchid is not better than a marigold, just different. Orchids simply won't bloom unless the conditions are right.</p>

<p>My D is more of an orchid. We have seen her blossom and bloom at Smith. The personal support form the profs, the small classes, the very special opportunities, the house system (all the benefits of sorority life without the negatives), etc. We are glad we "sprung" for the "fit" school.</p>

<p>But if she were a marigold the choice might have been different. And it might not have mattered.</p>

<p>In her case we think it did. And I think of a take on the MasterCard commercial:
"Seeing your child become all that she is capable of being ... PRICELESS!"</p>

<p>Again, we could do it and it worked for us. Every situation and family is different.</p>

<p>Best wishes with your decision-making.</p>

<p>Disclosure up front: Jyber was very instrumental answering my questions about Smith when D was considering it and her D was kind enough to meet with my D to chat informally and candidly when we first visited. There is something of a female equivalent of The Long Gray Line operating here. </p>

<p>About blossoming: in middle school, my D wasn't interested in being a leader in any traditional sense. But she most emphatically was not interested in being a follower, either. Given the structure of middle school, this left her being something of a loner. While things began to break out of this framework the last couple of years of high school, at Smith she has, to use Jyber's metaphor, blossomed. She's setting a very brisk pace for herself academically but has also found her niches as a member of a research team, member of the orchestra, and a member of her House community. While I doubt she will ever be any sort of social queen, she has become very perceptive and, for lack of a better phrase, seems to be "finding her voice." I think that all the reasons that Pesto and Jyber cite about the Smith environment are why Smith per se is a catalyst for young women's growth.</p>

<p>And while I bend over backwards from pursuing prestige, I have found that the name "Smith" does indeed open some doors.</p>

<p>My D's cost for Smith is spread among several directions: out of pocket from us, her loans, our loans, her research work, Smith grants.</p>

<p>Our loans are through MEFA, which are available to students attending college in Massachusetts regardless of state of residency, and they're better than PLUS loans. By the time four years is done, we will have borrowed the cost of very decent SUV. There is no doubt in our mind that Smith is the much better investment and if there were to be only one thing we could bequest to our daughter at this point, an education at Smith is it.</p>

<p>Probably sounds a bit fanatical. But that's how TheMom and I have sized Smith up. Fwiw, TheMom is a seniorish administrator who has been at UCLA for nearly 25 years and Smith knocked her socks off.</p>

<p>Had this discussion been Smith vs. Harvard, it would have been interesting to me. (Because we actually had that discussion.)</p>

<p>But to be fair, let's assume you decide to choose Northeastern (about which I know next to nothing.) How much of that money saved as a result do you expect to make available to your daughter to fund other parts of her education? To my way of thinking, choice of school is important, but it is a mistake to think that school=education, for education is so much more! For my d., Smith has been able to provide much (though not all) of "the more". (My other posts discuss what, for us, this has been about.)</p>

<p>Pesto,</p>

<p>Welcome to the posting ranks! Thanks for participating!</p>

<p>JEM</p>

<p>Thanks all for your comments. My husband and I sat down with D last night and made the commitment to Smith. It is a great fit for her, though I think she is a marigold and would have blossomed at NEU, or wherever she went, but I think the Smith experience will be, as someone else said, "priceless".</p>

<p>My H is a frugal person, to the point of being cheap, which is occasionally an asset, but sometimes he doesn't see the whole big picture. Also, he and I both went to a large state school and we turned out all right, at least in his mind, so I think that was working on him a little bit. For myself, I wonder if I had gone to a school like Smith if I might have been able to pass college algebra if someone other than a grad student was teaching the class!</p>

<p>So, Smith College Class of 2009, here we come!</p>

<p>Congrats to you and your D!</p>

<p>Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. (My D just got her Smith school ring this spring. )</p>

<p>Jyber209
parent Smithie '06</p>

<p>P.S. Suggestion: If you plan on attending Family Weekend in October, make reservations now if you wish to stay at a place near campus. Autumn Inn and Hotel Northampton are both within walking distance.</p>

<p>Actually, speaking of reservations, I was planning to make a reservation for when we drop her off, and I got a bit confused about when that was. From what I found online, it looks like it is September 3rd, right? Will there be any need for parents to stay any longer than that first day?</p>

<p>D and I visited Smith and MHC last fall and stayed at a B & B. I think H and I will probably stay at a B & B when we drop her off. There are so many cute ones in the area.</p>

<p>My D participated in an optional pre-orientation service program the week before the official drop-off, so you may want to discuss that option with your D before making specific drop-off plans. I imagine they still do that but you won't get the info on the options until you commit. I believe we paid $50 for her to do a service program locally. It was a good small-group bonding experience. Hiking trips and on-campus options were available. My H and S dropped her off, did a mini-vacation in the area, and then swung back for the parent part of orientation, which is largely ceremonial anyway. (Long story on where I was at the time.)</p>

<p>Congrats to your daughter, SGM.</p>

<p>As to drop-off, where are you coming <em>from</em>?</p>

<p>Coming from across country, flying was the only viable option, so there was no car load of stuff to be carried, so in turn a lot of stuff had to be purchased on site. There's also stuff like cell phones and bank accounts to be done. On the actual orientation day, there are events that include the parents early in the day and student-only events in the late afternoon or early evening...I didn't <em>quite</em> see the staff come out with crowbars. It was interesting/neat/whatever to wander around as D talked to various academic departmental representatives out on one of the greens of central campus...that was the last thing that D and I did together. </p>

<p>I'd leave at least two full days before orientation if you're coming across country. You probably want to scope out your D's room <em>before</em> heading off to buy stuff. Also, D and her roommate coordinated by phone, divvying up who was going to get what, what colors they wanted to coordinate (!!!?!), etc.</p>

<p>It's a bit more than a B&B but I really like the Autumn Inn...and it's a quarter mile or so from the campus entrance by Admissions.</p>

<p>We have found the whole experience of visiting, trips home, drop-off in the fall, and planning for leaving in about 6 wks (!) quite a major coordination effort. Of course, we live in California, so I'm sure many have it easier.</p>

<p>We have a lot of frequent flyer miles to use for trips across the country, but using them requires many months of booking in advance. It was hard to find hotel rooms for start of term and family weekend. Again, I recommend booking months in advance for those busy times.</p>

<p>Drop-off in September was a major ordeal, but without careful planning it would have been harder. We did pre-ordering of all the stuff for her room through Bed, Bath and Beyond, and picked it up at their local store the day before move-in day. We still ended up making several trips to Target the day she moved in.
D did not do the pre-orientation, which I would highly recommend. I think she would have felt comfortable a lot faster if she had known at least a couple of people in the first week (by family weekend she was fine and had made several friends).</p>

<p>For the summer, I have already booked tickets for pick-up and drop-off, and booked hotel rooms. H will fly there and help her pack everything and put in storage. We will both come out for drop-off to help her move in her new room.</p>

<p>D has had a great year at Smith, and we don't regret for a moment that she chose it. In retrospect, the distance has been more difficult than I anticipated. For us it was a huge financial committment (no financial aid or merit money), but worth it (so far).</p>

<p>My D was able to store boxed stuff in the basement of her house over the first summer. Prehaps that will be an option for some of your Ds. We do live close enough (five hours) to pick her up by auto, but leaving stuff there really helped keep the load down. She has to be on campus an extra week at the end of the year, and a week before school begins in the fall for Glee Club commitments, and that facilitiates keeping things there, as she is last one out and first one back.
Last summer we did do the storage locker bit because she was abroad, rather than on campus, for the fall semester ,and didn't feel she could leave things unattended in her house for that long. The locker actually worked out great.</p>

<p>Our D did one of the hiking preoreintation trips and had a great time, it did give her a few people she had atleast met before school actually started. I don't think she still hangs out with any of them but she is not naturally outgoing so it helped to know a few people the first week.
Since we can from the NW, we planned to buy alot of stuff after we got her to school. She and I flew out together, which meant she could check 4 bags, (I just had a carry-on). Much of it was books she couldn't part with and a quilt we made together over the summer. (if you sew, this was great fun and I know I am keeping her warm while she is far away.)
While she was on preorientation, I went off to visit a friend in PA. and the came back to spend the day between preorientation and orientation doing way to much shopping. It worked out fine even though I never got to any of the official parents orientation events. We fortunately have a bunch of friends in the area so I didn't need to make reservations. She will be storing much of her stuff in her house over the summer and will probably fly back to school herself next year.</p>

<p>We are coming from Texas and had intended on flying in a week early to spend a week on Cape Cod for our last vacation with D (she's our oldest). I forgot about the pre-orientation, and I'm not sure which she would rather do, a vacation with her folks or to jump right into the school experience. She's social enough I think she won't really need the jump start on friend-making that is provided by the pre-orientation. Do they house the girls when they are at pre-orientation?</p>

<p>As far as buying things, I would really rather do our shopping here, box it up and fly it to Massachusetts, even if we have to pay a little extra. I don't want to be driving around western Mass. searching for stores and using up our time with that. Also, it seemed to me that the regular stores (not boutiques), are all pretty far away from campus.</p>

<p>Most of the preorientation programs are based in houses, except the hiking or paddling ones. If you are assigned to the house your preorientation program is in you get to move into your room. If your house is not used for preorientation you can at least put your stuff in your room the when you check in. If your house is being used for preorientation they will have a space to leave suitcases and boxes until after preorientation.
Target, Linen and Things, etc are in the Hampshire Mall about 4 or 5 miles from campus. Not bad if you have a car. If you prefer to shop before hand, it will save stress on move-in but definately talk to your roommate about who is bringing what. I think roommate/housing assignments were out in early August.
XX mini</p>

<p>SGM, I think the pre-orientation might have value but D chose not to do it...none of the activities appealed to her. We did the "last vacation" thing instead and I think all of us are very happy we did. Though...warning...brusque curmudgeon that I can be, I had all sorts of lumps in throat and moist eyes at the most unexpected times. I've guess I've got a Romantic and sentimental streak....</p>

<p>I had never understood before Thanksgiving just how great it is to have one's child return from college. Slay the fatted calf indeed, whether they've been prodigal or not. </p>

<p>That said, I don't regret her choosing Smith at all. It's enough to make me attempt handsprings though at 6'0" and 235 it might be a case of viewer discretion advised and having acute medical care on stand-by.</p>

<p>TheDad,</p>

<p>Where are you located?</p>

<p>Re pre-orientation: Yes, they do house the girls who do on-campus pre-orientation programs but probably not in their own assigned house. My daughter did one of the hiking programs and was very glad she did because of the headstart in giving her a few more familiar faces to sit with at meals. But considering the distance between Texas and Massachusetts, I would certainly forego the pre-orientation for the chance to have a last family vacation together, if none of the offerings appeal to your daughter.</p>

<p>At the same time, if there are extracurricular activities that your D might like to become involved in, especially sports, she might want to check out whether there might be practices beginning before orientation. My daughter segued straight from pre-orientation to team practices, which were already in progress when she returned from her backpacking trip. </p>

<p>And concerning athletics (perhaps a topic for another thread): For anyone out there who might be considering doing a sport at Smith, but might be hesitating because you don't think you're good enough or because you don't think you can balance academics with a strenuous athletic training regimen, all I can say is go for it! Being on a team right from the get-go -- having an immediate cohort of like-minded peers with whom to hang out -- was a critical ingredient in my D's lightning-quick adjustment to college life, and she has had no trouble keeping up with her classwork. If anything, having a rigorous schedule makes you more organized. Also, if you have doubts about your athletic ability, as my daughter did, at least give it a shot. Smith's teams seem very welcoming to anyone who is willing to put in the time and effort to train for them -- you don't have to be a star. She has continued doing a sport every season and I cannot say enough good things about her coaches.</p>

<p>Did anybody else notice that Northeastern University had a natural gas explosion on campus yesterday that injured several people? We've decided it was a sign that D made the right decision!</p>