<p>I'll chime in here too, although I really have nothing new to add. I went to a womens college, and I think it is really the best kind of place for a shy, introverted child to find her voice. </p>
<p>I also went to school an 8 hour drive from home. This was a GOOD distance for me. It forced me to deal with things when I really just wanted to cut and run home to Mom, yet it was close enough that if I really HAD to get home (like in case of a death in the family), I could. </p>
<p>The schools my daughter is looking at are 8.5 hours, 9 hours, and 14 hours (or a plane ride) away, and I too am wishing she had been accepted at the schools closer to home. But I know she'll be fine.</p>
<p>You all make excellent points, and it sounds like it is time to at least let her test her wings. </p>
<p>One of my biggest fears is that she will get sick and there won't be anyone to take care of her. It would be so hard for me to go to MA since my little boy requires care, and I don't have anyone to fill in if I'm gone. I don't know if that is a likely scenario, or at least likely enough to ask her to stay closer to home. I know none of you has a crystal ball, but based on experience, is this something to worry about?</p>
<p>I respect all the points you've made, many of which I hadn't ever thought about.</p>
<p>From a logistical standpoint, it's no easier to leave your younger child to head to Appleton, WI than it is to fly to the East coast. </p>
<p>Students do get sick at college, but taking care of oneself is just part of the maturation process. And you can always overnight a care package of chicken soup!</p>
<p>I would not like it for my son to be sick and halfway across the country either, but I had the talk with him about when to go to the health center (fever with a cough, fever with stiff neck, serious abdominal pain, etc.) and he is surrounded by kids and profs who care about him and would be there for him. Also there are many, many parents here on CC who would be happy to help out, should anything serious arise.</p>
<p>The class of '08 will have the same great opportunity that I had many moons ago as a member of the class of '76....to become involved in a presidential campaign. I was a quiet girl who went to a huge state U not knowing anyone. The Jimmy Carter campaign really saved that first semester. I not only met lots of like minded colllege kids, but people of all ages, including a mom who loaned me a coat when we had a cold snap for which I was not prepared. Whereever your daughter goes, I would strongly encourage her to pick a candiate and jump in with both feet....she'll know scores of people in no time.</p>
<p>I know a few girls at Smith, and they seem very protective and maternal to each other. If your daughter got sick there, I'd bet she'll have an entire hall of concerned and caring friends taking care of her.</p>
<p>Remember, too, that the 5 College area is home to UMass Amherst, the state flagship. There will be a lot of local kids there who will be able to help your d out if necessary (or their moms will!).</p>
<p>And although I'm about 1 1/2 away, I'll sign on if it makes you feel any better!</p>
<p>It is so intriguing to me that the "what if she gets sick" thing comes up so often, as me and my D have such issues about it. She has a history of asthma, and as an infant we spent a lot of time in ER's, but she has no memory of this. She remembers me and H, both physicians, as being very aloof when it comes to her illnesses, and jokes "what does it take to go to an emergency room around here?". She would never come to me about being sick, and my idea of "taking care of her " is reminding her to use her inhaler! I think I'm used to reading her emotionally, and will have to talk about setting leer to "use her words". OP, any thoughts about how you and your D communicate best?</p>
<p>missypie, thanks for that campaign idea. That would be a perfect way to get to know kids for my son.</p>
<p>jnsq, it is scary to have our kids go so far away, but the knowledgeable posters here have sure sold me on the idea that a women's college will be the perfect place for your daughter!</p>
<p>"One of my biggest fears is that she will get sick and there won't be anyone to take care of her. It would be so hard for me to go to MA since my little boy requires care, and I don't have anyone to fill in if I'm gone. I don't know if that is a likely scenario, or at least likely enough to ask her to stay closer to home. I know none of you has a crystal ball, but based on experience, is this something to worry about?"</p>
<p>This is all part of what it means for her to grow up and learn to take responsibility for herself. College is a way station toward doing this. In college, she'll have more medical support than she will after college and/or after grad school when she is likely to be a single adult living away from home in an apartment building filled with strangers. </p>
<p>When students get the flu or something similar, they get help from the school health clinic. I remember that when I was in college, my roommate was hospitalized briefly in the health clinic when she had a bladder infection. She told her parents, but they didn't come. There was no need for them to come, and no one expected them to come. She was getting good care.</p>
<p>Resident assistants in dorms and deans of students also help when students are sick or injured.</p>
<p>During my own 4 years in college, I only remember having bad colds, allergies and yeast infections, all of which I got meds for at the drugstore or health clinic. One of my roommates broke her toe falling out of her bunk bed (!), and had to use crutches for a few weeks. Her dad, a doctor, didn't need to come to help.</p>
<p>I think that the best thing that you can do for your daughter is to encourage her to eat healthfully and to get an annual flu shot (probably will be available on campus) because flu season tends to come around exams.</p>
<p>I really don't think Smith and Holyoke are the kind of places where sick girls are left to languish and die in the street, while their classmates callously step over them, calculating what this will mean to the curve in Gen Chem.</p>
<p>Women's colleges do a fantastic job at getting the introverted and shy to emerge into confident leaders. The D of a work colleague/friend went to a small women's college in Baltimore. Came out of there ready to take on the world (and has). Doing fabulously well in a male-dominated field and is respected for her analytic and negotiating skills.</p>
<p>For most illnesses, the campus health clinic is adequate. For more serious problems, there is a hospital not far from the Smith campus. I've only seen the maternity ward of Cooley Dickinson--twice--but I believe it is a full-service hospital. I'm not sure where residents of S. Hadley go for a major hospital--probably Holyoke or Springfield--but the point is, these schools are not in places where medical attention cannot be found.</p>
<p>My son has found in necessary to seek out a specialist this year for a recurring eye problem. He made the appointment, got a prescription, got it filled. I would have preferred to be there being mom, but all in all he handled it fine, and I'm sure your intelligent daughter can do the same.</p>
<p>jnsq, at some point your daughter will transition to not having you there when sick. I think making this transition will be easier when surrounded by a roommate, fellow students, and an on-campus health care clinic than suddenly having to handle it all cold turkey when she has graduated from college and is working somewhere.</p>
<p>je<em>ne</em>sais_quoi, you'd be keeping her close to you for your sake, not for hers. </p>
<p>I got sick in college, first at one (a women's college; imagine!), and was sick enough to have to drop out of school for the semester, and then at another, and this second time, I required emergency surgery.</p>
<p>Guess what? I lived!!</p>
<p>Now go buy a Smith bumper sticker and put it on your car!</p>
<p>Oh my gosh, you are all right regarding illness, and JHS made me smile with his/her comment about sick girls being left to languish in the street and die while their classmates stepped over them:) I'm obviously worrying needlessly since there seems to be an abundance of care and concern out there. I was under the impression that students were pretty much on their own if they got sick, and parents had to come and take care of them or bring them home.</p>
<p>Sounds like a good plan. You can spend the summer making sure your daughter understands the banking and healthcare system (i.e. your insurance) and she'll be fine. Those are the areas that kids may not have had enough experience with. Good luck to you and your daughter.</p>
<p>Je ne - she will get sick, she will not get the loving attention she would get at home, but she will get armed to know how to take care of herself. And, important for the introverted, she will get the confidence that she can handle these things by herself. it won't be smooth, it won't all be straight ahead, continuous improvement, but there will be improvement.</p>
<p>I really think that if SHE wants to go, and finances are in order and there are no extenuating circumstances, then it is more disheartening for her to not go - instead of blooming, she is more likely to wilt. the message of 'you aren't capable' is just too strong if you hold her back. Read the thread about "I really want to go to college".</p>
<p>One of the strengths of a residential college is the opportunity for kids to adapt to life on their own in a structured environment - taking the size steps that are best for them. </p>
<p>Be proud for her, and go worry here.</p>
<p>Also, there are some excellent books available for freshmen, little handbooks with all sorts of good info about laundry and illness, and how to get along with roommates, many practical tips that will help her know what to do in common situations.</p>
<p>j n s q,
Smith sounds like it would be a wonderful choice for your D on a number of levels. I, too, went to an all women's college back in the day. I came out of high school feeling like a total outsider. The great thing about going away to college is that it gives us a chance to "reinvent" ourselves. By my sophomore year, I was president of my dorm. I am a strong supporter of all women's colleges, and think, as other posters do, that your daughter will find lots of support for any issues. You just have to explain that she is to use the Health Center for any concerns more significant than a cold. Even if she has a cold, they will have something to dispense to help her.</p>