My D was deferred and she is so upset. Bates was thevplace forvher and we agreed. The counselor is surprised as well. So much for the committed well rounded student? What now?
I’m a Bates alumna and the school has a special place in my heart, but there are many, many great schools out there and right now your job as a parent is to assure your daughter that she will find one of them. My advice would be to let her feel her disappointment but try not to add to it. Let her take a day to wallow if that seems to be what she needs to do, but then encourage her to finish any other applications she has pending. It’s still possible she’ll be admitted in the RD round so you won’t want to trash talk the school.
Bates admission has gotten progressively tougher over the past few years and this year was bound to be especially brutal given that last year’s freshman class was oversubscribed. The school has had to turn away a plethora of wonderful kids.
Deferrals can turn into acceptances, rejections, or WL in the RD round, so it’s not over.
Having had a kid who was deferred in the ED round several years ago, I know how disappointing it is.
Yes, your D now has the work of all those RD applications in front of her. But come April, she will be able to revisit her top options and reevaluate. Bates may be in the mix then. And it still may be her top choice. Or not! Or it may not be and she may be looking at other schools that are appealing. Really, as awful as the process is, most kids find themselves in a great place come September. Not that it makes December any easier…
My son was deferred from Bates two years ago – and then got in and is now a student there (and loves it). But I remember how disappointing that deferral was. What he did after he got the deferral was email an admissions officer a short note saying Bates is still my top choice and here’s two updates since I applied (I think one was an improved grade in AP calc and the other was an award). We advised he make it short and informative, with no complaining about the deferral. Of course, I have no idea if it made a difference, but I think writing it – and getting back a cheery, hey, thanks-for-letting-us-know message from that person – at least made my son feel he’d done something proactive. The whole process is tough and frustrating at times, but as others wrote, most kids end up somewhere they’re happy about, even if it wasn’t the place they envisioned a year earlier. Good luck and hang in there…
Being deferred is not a rejection of your daughter. This past year’s admissions cycle was the most competitive ever. Bates is going to be very cautious this coming year because they were overenrolled. Your daughter might still get in.
My D was waitlisted a few years back and ended up getting in during the summer. She was not a terribly well rounded kid, and I don’t mean that she had some super interesting “spike.” She’s now a junior at Bates. She emailed a couple of times after being waitlisted, once right after decisions came out, and about a month later to reaffirm her interest. She was clear that she would attend if accepted. She mentioned some specific things she would do at Bates if she was admitted, but she had no amazing achievements to send. She sent her updated grades. Meanwhile, she paid her deposit at her other college and let it go. She was truly surprised to be accepted at the beginning of July.
Your daughter should do her due diligence with letting Bates know her interest, but she shouldn’t take it personally. This year is really going to be very tough for all kinds of kids. They are simply not going to be able to admit as many students as last year, so the thought is that they will admit conservatively and take from the waitlist as needed. I don’t say this to make your daughter feel hopeless, but rather to help her understand it isn’t a personal rejection. She might well get good news in March. Good luck to her!