Deferred twice. I want to give up. Help :(.

@Muad_dib Well of course not, and I’m not saying that I’m entitled to or even qualified to. I didn’t pick Brown because of prestige or because it was an Ivy League school. I picked it because out of every school I visited, when I was there it just felt right, and after doing more research I was even more convinced that it was basically a perfect fit for me. Trust me, I wish I fell in love with a school that doesn’t have a 9.3% acceptance rate. I wish my “dream school” was UMaine, but I just fell in love with Brown.

@sciencenerd123, disappointment with Deferrals is an expected emotion, so that’s ok.

Anchoring yourself to only schools that are big reaches with your stats is a recipe for more of the same - Brown, Northeastern and Tufts are all big reaches today with a 1420 SAT, which is in the bottom 25% at Northeastern and Tufts and below the bottom 25% at Brown.

No one is saying that these aren’t good scores and no one is saying that a Deferral won’t turn into a Denial - they do!, but you have applied to schools with lots of applicants with higher stats. One of our DD’s got Deferred/Denied at Brown with a 1570 SAT - Brown only accepts 16% with similar scores and for females its lower as females submit 60% of applications at Brown.

If the acceptance rate at Brown is 8% and a 1420 is in the bottom 25%, then the acceptance rate with a 1420 is around 4%. A similar reduction in acceptance rate should be expected at the others as well - 30% becomes 15% at NEU, 14% becomes 7% at Tufts.

There are still other great schools on your list that are better matches with a 1420 SAT, including Colby and Smith, and you already have two great acceptances with WPI being a really great engineering school.

Your “chance” of being accepted RD is same as everyone else’s. They give you a fresh read, from start. They liked you app enough to keep it in play. They did not reject, they would have, if you weren’t worth the second look.

You can decide if dreams are so fragile that anything less than an ED admit is a fail. That would be a shame and “young.”

You have assets I’m sure Brown liked- the diverse interests, your understanding of the open curriculum, the breadth and depth of ECs, your academic successes. The issue is your scores. 700M is on the low edge for stem, as is the bio 650. But they liked you enough to keep your app in play.

Defer is not waitlist.
I know this is exhausting, but when life is tough, all we sometimes can control is our attitude. I’m hoping you find that strength and resilience. I consider them “life skills.”

@Chembiodad But people get accepted with my SAT scores. 25% of students who enrolled in the Tufts Class of 2021 have scores below a 1410. Maybe I’m naive but I thought colleges look at more than just scores. I know my scores are low for these schools, but I’m a good student. I have high grades, and the scores aren’t even terrible (the SATI scores at least). If 25% of the people who are currently Freshmen at Tufts have lower scores than I do, then why can’t I be one of them? I think holistic admissions is a whole lot of BS. Besides my standardized test scores, there isn’t much wrong with my application. That’s the sad part. I convinced myself that I had a chance. I wish I retook the SAT one more time.

@lookingforward Thank you. It’s been a very long year. I’ve been looking forward (pun unintended) to this process all throughout high school and now all I want is to get out of it. I’m trying to be strong but it’s just really hard.

@sciencenerd123 Usually kids in the bottom 25% have extenuating circumstances. They might be a URM, first generation, an athlete. Or they could be from a very under-represented state like Alaska. Or they are a development case, meaning their parents have a ton of money and may donate at some point.

The reason your scores count is because it’s possible your high school gives inflated grades. At our high school, everyone in top 10% will likely have a 34+ or a 1540+.

Yes, they certainly do get accepted, but they get accepted at much lower rates. And many of these acceptances are for Hooked Applicants - URM, First-Gen, Student-Athletes and Legacies. Do either of your parents have colleges degrees - if not, you would be considered First-Gen.

The holistic process is real and maybe your story as a refugee convinces the adcoms that you are a great fit, but there may be others with similar stories with higher stats that are better fits.

Hang in there, but please embrace the great acceptances that you have and await hopefully that the other RD decisions become acceptances. And if a Deferral turns to an Acceptance then you can celebrate, but expect that to be a surprise not an expectation.

I do think a lot of gratefulness is in order. In the world we live in, our first world problems consist of prestige and money. In most of the world, the problems are related to food and housing. I often tell my kids, you won the lottery by being born in the USA. What makes you think that you deserve more? They know their problems are first world issues ( and even by US standards they are very very lucky). Be thankful. More doors will open to you in life. People are very open and compassionate. They want to help. Being grateful and humble in life will take you far… Trust me. Or ask your parents if they are grateful for what they have compared to what they might have had. Let’s hope they tell you to be thankful also. And I agree with one of the above posters. You might still need to take out loans with a partial scholarship. But there are many US students who have no scholarship at all and will be paying for many years.

@homerdog I thought grades count more than scores, and colleges look at your GPA within the context of your school anyway. My high school is very competitive, and I work hard for my grades. I am not defined by 4 hours on a Saturday morning, but by consistently high grades at the top of my class in a curriculum that is more difficult that even what my school offers. I wish I was a legacy or an athlete. Two years ago Brown accepted two people from my school RD. My grades were similar if not better than theirs but they both have two parents who went to Brown. They both deserve to be there, but not any more than I do. One of their dads interviewed me. He ironically said that I would be a “great edition to the Brown community” and he doesn’t see a reason why they wouldn’t accept me. Then again, he didn’t see my scores.

@Happytimes2001 Being sad does not mean I’m not grateful. I am.

@Chembiodad Nope, both my parents were dentists in Iraq.

So you’ve been sad and discouraged, and now you need to move on. If you can’t stand the thought of rejection, withdraw your app from Brown. Brown was also perfect for my daughter, but they didn’t think so. Many thousands of kids that are perfect for Brown will not get in. Tens of thousands will be rejected from their dream schools.

Forget dream schools. The best school for you is one that you like and can afford. Why are you upset about Northeastern, who are known for being stingy? Once you get all your decisions back, call the FA department at WPI and ask for more money if you really like them and have a competitive offer from another school. Do not apply to a school you will not be able to afford.

Your list is reach-heavy. Your stats are okay for most, a little on the low side for some, but the acceptance rates at most of them make them reaches. You have two great acceptances, and I think you probably will get into Northeastern RD and Smith. Northeastern is well-known for deferring in the EA round. Hopefully you ran NPCs on them all to be sure you could afford them.

What kind of help you are expecting? It’s important for kids to understand that holding onto the idea of a dream school, especially when that dream school is a reach, is not a good idea. With holistic admissions, there is simply no guarantee. The odds are not in your favor when your stats are below the 50th percentile, and even then, they still aren’t in your favor. Be realistic, and understand that any acceptances to highly selective schools are a bonus.

@sciencenerd123 but if Brown can choose between kids with high grades and high scores or high grades and low-ish scores, they will choose the former.

I give up I have to study for an IB History Exam.

@sciencenerd123 It’s not that a school “doesn’t want” you. There are just TOO MANY amazing applicants like you. Also, sometimes LIFE moves you in a direction it wants you to go in, even though you don’t see it that way at the time. You may or may not gain admission to Brown. If it’s not Brown, it’s for a good reason. Remember this: someone somewhere needs you to be at the place you ultimately choose. Go with it, and trust it. You won’t go wrong.

The thing with scores is, they act as a balance. For kids who come from very difficult schools the scores will show that. My kids go to a school where no one gets all top grades, there are at least 15% of kids who test in the top 5% of every test and many parents are high level educators. To say they don’t deserve to have their tests taken seriously is not ok. I know there are always folks who complain about testing. But think about the kids in high level states, within high level communities where only a handful can be the top but compared to other places they would be much much higher. We have a friend who moved out of state, her son who was in the top 30% is now in a gifted program. Everyone has some hole. Remember the kids who do sports balance school and getting up (some at 5 or 6 on a Saturday or Sunday), the guy who went to the school is spending time interviewing for the school ( giving back above and maybe also giving money). I don’t think you are a very grateful person so I am going to sign off. I think you really need to think about what has been given vs. what you think you “deserve” Hope that I am wrong and you are just stressed.

@sciencenerd123, as @Lindagaf pointed out, there are tons more highly qualified applicants than these best schools can accept - any university or LAC that’s in the top-20 to top-30 is gamble for anyone, even a perfect SAT and GPA.

As I pointed our earlier, our DD’s, who both scored a 35 ACT, 750-800 SAT 2’s, and 3.8 UW /4.2 W GPA with 6-8 AP’s, lots of EC’s… were Deferred, Denied or Waitlisted at every top-10 or Ivy that applied to except one. Were they so, so disappointed by it - yes, oh my gosh yes as they worked so hard to have a chance!

But they also got into every other top-20 to top-30 school that they applied to, and they both ended up in a great place - but remember they were in the top-75% at all of these schools, and nothing was certain and they got lucky.

@Happytimes2001 I absolutely did not say that their tests should not be taken seriously. Test scores are one part of the puzzle, they are important, but there are so many more pieces. I feel like everyone here is writing me off because of my scores, which were in the 98th percentile and not even that terrible, though I completely acknowledge that they are below the level for these schools. I’m sorry if I come off as ungrateful for but I am 100% grateful for my acceptance and scholarship to WPI. I was incredibly excited when I got in and I even have WPI stickers on my calculator. Still, that acceptance was tainted by disappointment due to my Brown deferral which happened days prior. I was upset. I still am. I don’t know how that makes me ungrateful. Like I said earlier, I do not think I am entitled to get into Brown. I am just upset. That’s OK. I am so stressed, you have no idea. I feel like a failure. The last thing I need is strangers on the internet telling me that I’m not grateful when I am. I am just upset and stressed out.

You asked for help. I think everyone here is trying to help you understand that you have to be realistic and not take a deferral personally. No one thinks your scores are terrible. Your grades and test scores are great, but you are applying to hyper-selective schools.Your chances of not getting into Brown are about 92% or higher. Your chances of not getting into most of your schools are high. Accept that, and find reasons to get excited about the 2 schools you know you are into already.

You seem too invested in your dreams. No one who has just been offered two excellent college options has a reason to feel like a failure. The fact that you continue to be this upset is concerning. Most of us here have an extremely good idea of how stressed you are. We have kids who recently did this, or who will be doing it soon. My thought is that there is more going on here than simple disappointment, because you should be moving on by now. You might want to schedule a meeting with your school guidance counselor, or talk with a trusted adult, or make an appointment to see a therapist so you can talk through these feelings. If you are asking for help, perhaps it’s best to get help from a professional, rather than strangers on the internet.

@Lindagaf I had moved on mostly, but the deferral from Northeastern really shook me.

I am going to get off of this website–you people don’t know me personally. You don’t know my story, or my grades, or my hard work, or how I am viewed in my community. You don’t know how grateful I am. You haven’t read my essays. You don’t know anything about me besides a few data points and comments that I’ve provided. No one can tell me my chances, I have to wait and see. Yes I am upset, but I believe in myself. I am capable of succeeding at every one of the schools on my list. I will do great things whether I got to Brown or UMaine or WPI. I believe in myself and I believe in the applications that I sent out and I hope that the admissions officers see something there and decide to accept me. I understand what you all are saying–I am very upset about Brown still. That’s my fault. I’m just very sensitive about these things, and I’ve worked so damn hard and I loved Brown so much. But I will try to be strong and wait patiently until next month and try to be positive about what may come. No more chance threads for me. I will listen to my counselor:

“Oh sweetie, gosh! I always say deferred again is better than denied. I KNOW it doesn’t make you feel better of course but it’s what I believe. Let’s have you send in another rec and an email of intent; much like the last one we spoke about. Hang in there. Remember you are AMAZING and so talented and will blaze your path and continue your incredible journey wherever you go!”

I will let you know if I get into Tufts.