Deferred twice. I want to give up. Help :(.

@sciencenerd123, everyone is wishing you the best, including wishing you some luck with these incredibly reachy schools .They aren’t just reachy from a stat level, but the small percentage that gets accepted is small when its 25% or less - that means 75% were denied.

Hope that you weren’t given false hopes by either your GC or those on CC - its always a balance as everyone wants to cheer on those that have a chance, but that’s all it is.

Brown denies 80% of those with perfect scores, perfect grades, and great EC’s, and yes they are also wonderful people that worked their tails off to have a chance to attend Brown.

@sciencenerd123 hang in there. It’s ok to mourn a dream. You are doing everything right. Just stick with your GC.

In the end, it’s about the college’s needs. That’s beyond the control of any kid. Sometimes, it’s just rotten luck that a bunch of kids from your area applied early. Or a load of athletes.

In tippy top reviews, one important quality they look for is resilience. I’m guessing you showed that in your app. But now’s the time to really lean on it, for your own balance.

Of course, we’re pulling for you. But we hope you can put this in perspective.

Btw, in holistic, everything matters. Rarely do one or two elements trump others. These tippy tops are in a position, as said, to cherry pick. You did a lot right, as much as you could.

Keep moving forward. Keep growing.
And let us know how the next months go.

Looks like you helped yourself after all. Best of luck going forward!

Sciencenerd I have been reading your posts since ED day, and yes everyone here is rooting for you, and no one more so than I.

I will give against the grain advice and recommend you take the “ignorance is bliss” approach. Results will be the same whether you fret or go full-on overconfidence, so why not the latter? Forensics on stats are useless at the point but that is the raison d’être here and people (usually) do it with the best intentions IMHO.

I will recommend you take your own advice and avoid posting on this site in the interim. I had some struggles here and did exactly that for about 8 months and it allowed me to refocus and lurk and learn – and I am an old parent!

Go have some fun. It’s your senior year!

Have a good cry, then brush yourself off and enjoy senior year.

A 32k scholarship is great but means nothing if the family can’t afford the net price. It’s not the scholarship but the net cost that matters.

@sciencenerd123: I’m guessting the reality is that you can"t imagine being at WPI with tons of debt or at UMaine, which makes the deferrals all that more difficult to bear. You’ll go if you have to but they’re not schools you really want to go to. I hope you applied to Colby, Bates, Bowdoin, and I see you applied to Smith (and demonstrated interest). Ypu may want to add a couple meet need colleges with Feb1 deadines just to ensure you have an affordable school acceptance, just in case.

@sciencenerd123, you come to a site saying “I want to give up” and you get lots of support from parents and students who have been there, done that. Even after several posts of encouragement and basic explanation of how schools view different applicants, your response is whining, most unattractive btw. You sound as though you think you are entitled. Guess what? You aren’t. No more than any of our kids are. In reality, 85-90% of applicants are in the same boat for Brown and Tufts. I think you need to pull up your big girl panties and start acting like the intelligent, worldly student you most likely are IRL. Have your sad day and get on with it.

@sciencenerd123 Hello! I am a mother of a Tufts freshman and your thread struck a chord with me. I love your passion and you have a strong writing voice. You are emotionally sophisticated as well – you are absolutely right that you can be grateful and disappointed at the same time.

You came here looking to be lifted and the tide turned against you, despite early and some subsequent encouragement. Somehow you were supposed to process your sadness and come up smiling and shining immediately? You realize that’s nonsense, to your credit. It’s okay to lick your wounds a bit as you carry on–and yes, even for more than, gasp, a few days. It would be odd not to.

Some CC adults are concern trolls; they offer up “straight talk” for “your own good,” when in fact they are domineering and hostile. Who knows what motivates that response? Who cares? Certainly not worthy of your time and energy to defend yourself.

I want to acknowledge the sting you’re feeling:
It does suck to work so hard and worry about whether it will pay off in the way for which you’ve hoped. It sucks to be deferred and deal with that uncertainty at such a young age. It sucks to be worried about student debt before you even enroll. This whole college process is insane and crazy-making.

And you will get through it and succeed. You’ve got this.

I love WPI for your field. The presidential scholarship there is impressive.
Congratulations.

You don’t have to be grateful that you were deferred. You still have a chance, but odds are you will end up somewhere else.

In the end, you will go to a good school (based on acceptances in hand), and you can be grateful for that as well as for all the other blessings in your life.

Hang in there. You would be an unusual person if you didn’t feel disappointment when you didn’t get what you hoped for. But know that realistically, your list, even for someone with better scores, would likely generate a number of rejections. So try not to take it so personally.

Your story is why many say that college admissions is a crap shoot. It really isn’t but there are so many factors like a college trying to protect its yield and hooks. There is a method to the madness, but you can only control what you can. Lots of the college admissions decisions won’t make sense, but that’s all part of the twists and turns and ups and downs, highs and lows of what is known as the roller coaster of college admissions these days. Keep calm and carry on. Hopefully you will have some good choices in the end.

i’m going to give you some different advice. When I applied to college 40 years ago, I got into all of my top choices. I wound up attending the CUNY school 10 minutes from home because it was all I could afford, even with FA and loans. I wasted 4 years being miserable and didn’t make one single friend at college because I was so angry and unhappy that I couldn’t afford to go to one of my dream schools. However, I worked out and did well and got into law school. I chose to attend a brand new school because I was offered a full tuition scholarship. And then something amazing happened. I met the man who has been my best friend and now husband and the father of my 5 children. I would never have met him had I gone to one of my dream colleges. So, with the benefit of hindsight and experience, I tell you that things work out as they should. My only regret is not enjoying the college experience I had.

Good luck, it’s okay to feel sad and disappointed, but don’t let it define you. Your journey is just beginning. You may not get to write the admissions decisions, but you can write the rest of the script.

MODERATOR’S NOTE:
I believe the OP has received some solid feedback, and has options to consider. However, the thread is not going around in circles. Several posts deleted. Closing thread.

MODERATOR’S NOTE: Reopening so that OP can post decisions. No more advice, please.

This thread is kind of depressing I just wanted to let ya’ll know that I’m doing good!!!

Tufts - deferred (it’s all good though lol I wrote a really good letter)
Smith- got early acceptance letter today!!!

Letter from Smith College:

"Dear my name,
I know the wait for college decision letters can be agonizing. I’ve decided to admit a select group of applicants early. Congratulations - you’re one of them!

We will be mailing your formal letter of admission on March 23. In the meantime, celebrate with your family and friends since you have been officially admitted to the Smith College Class of 2022!"

They wrote a personal note: Beautiful essay-- we would be proud to call you a Smithie!!!

Today, I received a status update from Smith College (still before official decisions were released) telling me that I was chosen for the STRIDE scholarship. I believe they give it to a couple hundred people, but there are usually around 50 STRIDE scholars per class. It is given to their best applicants and it consists of a four year $20,000 grant, and a two-year research assistant job with a professor with a $4,900 stipend. I think I get to choose with professor to work with based on my research interests. YAY! This was totally unexpected, it definitely makes me feel a little more confident. Tonight, I hear back from Bowdoin College. Fingers crossed!

ACCEPTED TO BOWDOIN COLLEGE!!!

OK, I figured I should do an update since this thread is super depressing haha.

So, you all know I was deferred ED by Brown, accepted EA by WPI with 32k a year presidential scholarship, and deferred EA from Northeastern. Also applied EDII to Tufts. Come February, I was deferred by Tufts (lol surprise). A few weeks later I recieved an early acceptance (ie. “early write”) from Smith College in the mail, which is apparently only given to their best applicants. It came with a handwritten note from the Dean of Admission (“Beautiful essay, we would be proud to call you a Smithie.”) So Smith basically bombarded me with mail for weeks. They even sent me a t-shirt in the mail, which was a nice touch. From Smith, I also received the STRIDE scholarship, which amounts for 20k per year and consists of a paid research assistant job with a professor of my choosing for my first and second years. A couple of weeks later, I was rejected by Northeastern, which was pretty dumb. I mean, I didn’t want to go there anyway, and they probably were able to tell that. I never visited or showed interest or anything like that. Come to think of it I’m not sure why I applied–guess I just wanted to waste $75 haha. Anyway, on March 16, in the middle of the mall, I found out that I was accepted to Bowdoin College which was super exciting!!! Today, I heard back from Dartmouth and Brown. I was wait-listed by Dartmouth, and rejected by Brown. Ah well, Brown’s loss. About 20 minutes after those decisions came out, I sent in a deposit to Bowdoin!!! So that’s nice. I actually have one more decision. Tufts, tomorrow. Oh, well. They had their chance in February! I mean, I can let you guys know tomorrow if I get in but it really won’t matter. Bowdoin Class of 2022!!! I guess it all really does work out in the end ;).

@lookingforward @intparent @prodesse @chembiodad @chattachia @happytimes2001 @lindagaf @WISdad23 @suzy100 @homerdog @YoungOne4 @curiouspup @Postmodern @MommyCoqui @MYOS1634 @binky17 @gardenstategal @techmom99

congratulations!

You go girl!!! So happy you found your home. And you had some great choices too.