I absolutely do not trust her to be around kids like that. I had a friend whose daughter got drugged and assaulted at a party. It’s not that I don’t trust her, its that I don’t trust that environment. Her going to a good (non partying) school is important to me.
Thank you and appreciate the good advice! 
Thank you for the advice
Again, her scores were high. Every.box.was. checked. Extracurricular, model UN, mock trial, has a job, AP classes, volunteer work, seminary attendance, high GPA, the list goes on and on.
So “talking to my kid” is not the answer.
Talking to the school about why other people with low GPA’s got in IS the answer. Again, I want to fix this process, not just understand how they screwed over my child.
Does BYU require LORs? I wonder if something said (or not said) in one of them made the difference?
Um, my daughter was damaged. I now have to spend $1000 on plane tickets to fly out to Utah to go look at other schools, so I have been financially damaged.
I also don’t think it is “vindictive” to get screwed over and ask questions as to why. I am not going to allow this (or any school) to railroad my child who has worked for a DECADE towards this goal.
Like I said, meanwhile for those past ten years she has friends that have screwed around and taken light course loads, not worked, not volunteered BUT their parents have positions of authority in the church and (gasp) they got in… Hmmm…
Again, all I want is an honest answer from these people as to what they found lacking in her application, and since i know it was nothing, I want them to admit formally that it is a lottery and stop scamming kids.
I did see the application and we submitted it together. Truthfully it is her dream school and she has been rowing (hard) towards this goal for ten long years.
Obviously at this point we have to go and find another school (which she and I both view as inferior so no one can get excited about going to a school that we don’t want to go to)
Either way, the admissions process at this school is a joke and I do want answers. I am not going to talk to my bishop about it and frankly want nothing more to do with this church.
I appreciate the thoughts though, thanks!
They do but basically the LOR’s we drafted. The teacher said she didn’t have time so we worked with a tutor and drafted them and the teacher signed them. But you are right, it could always be some little variable like this.
“They do but basically the LOR’s we drafted. The teacher said she didn’t have time so we worked with a tutor and drafted them and the teacher signed them. But you are right, it could always be some little variable like this.”
That should not have happened. And if BYU somehow got wind of it, it could explain why your daughter was rejected.
Wow…that’s really unethical. There wasn’t a second teacher your D could have gone to?
This probably is an explanation for the rejection.
If you think so little of BYU, that they let in undeserving students with low gpa’s, that they are unfair in how they admit students, that it is just a lottery, why would you want your child to go there? If you want nothing to do with LDS church any more, why do you want her to go there or to any school in Utah?
Many students work their whole lives to go to Harvard or Stanford, to Julliard or NYU drama but they don’t get in. They are disappointed but they usually don’t turn against education or music or acting but just find another school or another path.
I think your beef is that there aren’t enough spaces at BYU Provo to serve all the LDS students around the world, and that you don’t like the alternatives. This happens to Catholics for ND, Georgetown, and BC, so they go to other Catholic schools or (gasp) a public school. Not every Evangelical can go to Liberty. There just aren’t enough spaces.
You have NO damages. It is your choice for your kid to attend a college in Utah. If that is what you want, fine. But no judge in the land is going to call a plane ticket to look for colleges in Utah “damages”… Because it’s not.
There are kids who don’t drink and party at every single college in this country. Your kid can find her tribe wherever she goes. But you don’t seem to want to believe that.
I’m with others…perhaps a chat with a LDS church elder is in order. That person should be able to clarify your position.
You are not going to change BYUs policy.
Your school counselor, however, can call admissions at BYU on your child’s behalf, and inquire. Maybe some other kid with the same name and lousy stats got mixed up with yours. Let the school counselor make this call.
In the meantime, you need to channel your anger into something way more positive. And I’m not talking about a lawsuit either.
Your kid needs to learn how to deal with not getting something she wants. There will be many times in the future that this will happen, and hiring a lawyer isn’t going to be the answer.
Did your Bishop write a recommendation for her? Are your guys more jack mormon? Do you do all the church and community stuff? It has to be more than seminary and volunteering, right? All that young women stuff, family night, conference, is that all required to get in?
Also is there anything going on at school? No teacher would write an LOR? No GC? That is …unusual. Would all the stuff like the tutor and flexing an MIT professor relationship have come across in the application? Is there any history of adversarial relationships with the school?
Also why Utah? Outside of BYU, your DD is really only a candidate for the U (she would have had a good scholarship, had she applied) but the U is normal, not religious. None of the other schools would be worth living in Utah for.
Call and ask about winter applications, that is a thing. Take a gap year and redo a better list. As money is an issue and BYU is so very cheap, you will want to look for merit money. Don’t start at any compromise option in Utah.
You wrote your childs LOR. Your perfect daughter has no clue what she wants to do as a major and claimed “undecided”. The only real reason why you wanted her to go to BYU is so that she can remain pure and “safe”. All of these things can read as very superficial and are perhaps why they said no. Did you contact them or did you allow your child to lead emails and conversations to the school? Maybe the school sensed she was basically being sent there to find a husband and maybe the school met their quota on matchmaking admissions next year?
From an article on another thread…
“A university news release shared one reason behind the changes being made to the enrollment cap.
“We would like to see every student who enrolls at BYU complete their education, which would increase our already high graduation rate of 86%,” the release said.”
So while she did excellent in high school, maybe the vagueness of her essays, lack of major, etc led admissions to feel like she might not complete her schooling and graduate from college.
I agree with the others that admissions will only possibly respect a church elder, not an angry parent. I would focus on perhaps either a gap year or starting elsewhere and trying to transfer in. However, it seems like you are now so angry Im uncertain why you would even waste anymore of your money on a system you feel is so broken?
You would be wasting money on lawyers fees. I hope your daughter finds some peace and acceptance and grows in her feelings of self worth even though she didnt get into her dream school.
Your daughters life should not be defined by the college she attends. And if she is firm in her values as you want them…she will find similarly minded folks at even the biggest party schools…because everyone doesn’t party.
Are you from CT…as your screenname indicates? If so, she can attend community college for FREE this coming fall as a resident of CT/HS graduate in Connecticut. That’s even cheaper than BYU…and perhaps she could then live at home and just commute. She could then transfer someplace to complete her four year degree. If you are a CT resident…look up CT Pact. It’s new this year. Free community college tuition.
Meh, I think the LDS church is getting a battering lately, no reason not to add another law suit?. I think it happens in Texas all re UT when parents are pissed.
Imagine paying tutor to ghost write a LOR and then wanting to hire an attorney. Goodness!
Right LOL? A daily mail story if ever I saw one!
OP states her child said in her essay she didnt want to go to BYU but wanted to go to BYU-I instead and “didnt spend much time on her essays”.
OP states her daughter has no declared major and a recent article in January 2020 notes that BYU is trying to cap admissions to ensure they increase their graduation rate. OP admits that she as mom called the school to find out if “undeclared major” would decrease her daughters chances.
OP admits she basically wrote her own LOR and her essays were reviewed by a “MIT scholar”. (FYI, going to MIT does not make you an english major or creative writing specialist).
OP admits when declined she as mom immediately called the BYU legal department and threatened a lawsuit. OP claims discrimination which makes no sense.
OP has given 10% of her salary to a church that she now wants to sue because her daughter didnt get into their college?
You and your daughter have devoted their lives to this church for the last decade at least. You are throwing away your entire religious beliefs because of this college rejection which isn’t a huge surprise to neutral bystanders based on the information you have posted.
This is just a really sad situation and I feel sorry for your daughter for many reasons.
Yikes! This is getting rough in here!
As I’ve said previously, IF your daughter is still interested in BYU, I would have her, her counselor or your bishop (I honestly have no idea how the politics in your church work so I don’t know which is better) call the school and see if you can find out what was lacking in your daughter’s application, whether a mistake happened, AND what she can do to get admitted? Can she look into being admitted winter term? Or transfer next year? But, this call can’t come from you! I understand how frustrated you are but the school has to see this is something your daughter wants, not you. Colleges don’t like to deal with parents. Sad sometimes when we are paying the bills, but true.
Mistakes happen. But the school is not going to admit it to an angry parent who is threatening a lawsuit.
Good luck to you!