<p>OP, I don’t want to dissect your essay but I have two thoughts:</p>
<p>One, you should not publish your essay on a public website.</p>
<p>Two, you say, (and here I am dissecting), “It took courage to leave the comfortable nonchalant life in Kazakhstan and move to Switzerland, to take on a greater challenge and move to New York, and to accept the unexpected turn of events and finally move to New Hampshire.” You didn’t have a choice about moving, did you? So I’m not sure I’d say this. Also, let the reader decide what you did or didn’t do was courageous. Let the reader decide if you will fit in. Talk about how these moves/changes changed you. What are you going to contribute to the college?</p>