I was beginning my application process to T20 colleges assuming FAFSA was the only way schools determined Financial Need. I stumble across the CSS and realize they want both custodial parents information. My mom never took my dad to court to get custody of me but I’ve lived between her and my grandparents my whole life. I’m fairly certain my Dad has custody despite us not having contacted each other in over a decade.
I have no idea where my Dad is and I don’t even remember his last name. I’m preparing to contact a lawyer to see what the process for getting sole custody of me to my Mom would look like. After that I’ll have to somehow convince colleges my Dad won’t contribute to my education and convince them to take the NPC waiver. All this because my family was too lazy to take him to court and because they have no idea how the college admissions process works. If colleges want his information I’ll almost certainly get no Financial Aid and probably won’t even go to college. Anyone know what the court process for getting education child support looks like (my state has it)? And does anyone know if at 18 I can just easily declare my mom my sole custodial parent. I’m pretty sad at this point and don’t think my situation can get worse.
You don’t need to get a court order. Your mother is your custodial parent, your father is your non-custodial parent. Bad news is schools still want your non-custodial parent’s information, and you will have to apply for a waiver if you can’t provide the information.
What do you mean you don’t know your father’s name? Does your mother know, know where he lives, know where any relatives (his parents, his siblings) live? If you want to apply for the waiver, get a copy of the form (each school could have a form) and see what they want. They usually want to know when the last time there was contact, any court orders as to why you can’t see him, letters from counselors (school, church, social workers) confirming the information.
There are a few top schools that don’t require non-custodial parents info - U of Chicago, Vandy - and it might be easier to target those or other schools that just ask for the FAFSA.
So it isn’t on your birth certificate? You have no legal steps to take. He would have to take steps to establish paternity if he wanted to, or your mother would have to sue him for child support.
If you have had no contact in 18 years and your mother can’t remember a name, I think you start there and ask for the waivers.
You email the CSS colleges, explain your mother doesn’t know/remember your father’s name and that you have had no contact with him that you can think of. Then ask what you need to send for a non custodial aren’t waiver (if he’s not on our birth certificate you’re in the clear, if he is you’ll need documentation from a doctor, teacher, etc., that he’s not involved in your life).
(…except that you say you were in contact 10 years ago. Not buying that nobody, including your mother ‘doesn’t remember his name’)
For your Dad to have any form of legal custody, or even right to custody, there is some sort of paper trail: wedding cert, birth cert, separation agreement, divorce agreement- something. But: all that doesn’t matter, b/c your biological and legal step-parents are held responsible for your college education, unless there are explicit waivers in place.
The advice you are getting here is sound, from experienced posters.
For financial aid purposes, your mom is your custodial parent because that is the parent you reside with the most.
On the FAFSA, you will use only your mom’s financial information. If you received any child support from your dad for the tax year for the FAFSA, your mom would include that as well.
On the FAFSA, you do not include your dad’s income information.
For the Profile, your mom will complete the Profile, and your dad’s info doesn’t go on that either.
For schools that require it…your dad would complete the non-custodial parent Profile.
How do you KNOW that your dad providing financial information will prevent you from receiving need based aid? You claim not to know his name or whereabouts, and that you have had no contact from him in ten years or something. How then do you know his income?
You don’t need a lawyer to do the financial aid forms as noted. In addition, custody agreements done during divorces have NOTHING to do with the completion of the financial aid forms at all. Schools don’t care about that...at all for financial aid purposes.
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If colleges want his information I'll almost certainly get no Financial Aid and probably won't even go to college
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Oh please. There are lots of kids with families who can’t or won’t pay for college who somehow figure out a way to attend.
Examples…you could start at a community college…and work part time as well.
You could commute to some school from home…if there is one.
If you really have competitive stats for these top 20 schools, then you might want to look further down in those rankings for places where you will get significant merit aid. If you can find a full tuition scholarship in the mix, then the Direct Loan, plus summer earnings, plus a job during college might be able to fund your remaining costs.
Are you low enough income to qualify for a Pell Grant? Does your state have any aid for lower income students?
Is there a community college or four year school that you can commute to from your mom’s Or grandparent’s?
Look for Profile schools that do NOT require the non-custodial parent information. Or apply to University of Chicago which meets full need and uses only the FAFSA and a short Chicago form. No non-custodial parent info.
What state do you live in? How much can your mom pay for college each year? What is your ACT or SAT score? Any chance you are a national merit finalist? What is your GPA?
Open your mind to affordable options.
I agree with the above poster who says it shouldn’t be hard to find your dad’s last name. If your parents are divorced, there is a divorce degree. There could be a marriage license. And then your birth certificate...you don’t mention anything about NEVER having had contact so his name should be on that.
And lastly, you can request a non-custodial parent waiver from each college...you can contact them to find out what info they require for this. These are decided on a case by case basis at each college. You possibly could get this waiver at some colleges, but not at others.
And likely you will need to make this request annually (parents and kids DO sometimes reconcile or establish contact in future years).
No one can remember your father’s last name? I can remember my best friends from elementary school even though that was 4 decades ago and I haven’t had contact with them since. Your mother knows his name even if you don’t.
@thumper1 gave you excellent advice. Pay attention to number 7. If you are a strong enough applicant for a top school, you should be able to get enough merit at a number of schools where your costs will be low.
Well, there are lots of cases when the mother may not remember the father’s last name… or even first name. Obviously it doesn’t sound like it’s the case.
But I think OP is worried that if s/he doesn’t have all the information, his/her forms won’t be processed at all.
Who has legal custody indeed?
The CSS is not just whom you live with. That doesn’t end it. An applicant either gets the Non-Custodial Profile or the waiver. OP should research the waiver.
But some of these misunderstandings apply to OP, as well: assuming the Fafsa is the only form, only “stumbling across” the CSS, not understanding the NCP and thinking this is all about legal custody. (At 18, many legal custody/support arrangements end, anyway. But that doesn’t change that this is your father, colleges feel both parents should contribute, and either want the NCP or enough to waive it.)
OP, please make sure you’ve researched your match to the top colleges and what they want to see, aren’t making assumptions there, too. We understand many kids look to Top 20 colleges for the good fin aid, but the competition for an admit is fierce. You have to be on your game, make you best presentation (and know what that means, to different colleges.)
Not sure OP should work so hard to identify the father’s name. The point is she doesn’t know. Kids do put “unknown” on the Common App. But, as said, OP needs to look at the waiver forms for her targets and provide the confirmations. It’s a process.
Even if he did have custody (and we aren’t sure if you know this or are guessing and why,) you’re still saying there has been no contact, no idea where he lives.
What you need to do is look up the waiver forms for a few schools now, get an idea what they ask and your part. Is theresome reason you thik he’s so wealthy you wouldn’t get aid?
@lookingforward What I meant was that the definition of custodial parent for the purposes of the CSS means the parent the student lives with, notwithstanding whoever has legal custody. Yes, the noncustodial parent (the one the student does not live with or lives with less than 50% of the time) info is required when there is no waiver. Apologies for not being clear about that.
Stating it a different way…odd as it sounds…there could be cases where a parent has legal custody but for some reason, the student lives more than 50% of the time with the OTHER parent.
For financial aid purposes, the custodial parent is the parent with whom the kiddo resides the most. Really…”legal custody” has nothing to do with it.
^^ It would be impossible for a person to have custody rights and for his name to not be know. How would the person have custody rights if his name was not on a birth certificate or on a court order (paternity, divorce, custody)? Unlike with a birth mother, a father only has rights after asserting them. If a couple is married at the time of birth, the male is presumed to be the father and gets rights, but then his name is known. If someone who is not married to the mother wants paternal rights, he has to claim them.
I cannot think of one way an unnamed, unknown person could have legal custody. He could have the right to file for custody, but then, of course, his name would be known.
I think the OP is confusing terms. This bio father is a NON custodial parent for financial aid purposes.
OP doesn’t need to know the othet parent’s name and I think some of this press must be hitting sensitive feelings. If she or he can attest to no contact or support, it doesn’t matter what his name is. All she can deal with is that her mother says unknown. Even if OP did find his name on the birth certificate, what difference does this make?
But. If OP thinks there’s been financial support ongoing, that’s different.
Your father may have legal custody (in that it hasn’t been taken from him), but your mother is the custodial parent in this case because you are living with her.
Ask your mom for the info about your Dad. The link above says that the college could contact your father directly.
What if my Noncustodial Parent is reluctant to provide the necessary information?
Sometimes noncustodial parents are reluctant to provide information initially. We are happy to speak directly with them and often find that we can resolve their concerns. Providing information does not necessarily mean that a noncustodial contribution will be expected. But, his/her refusal to provide information or financial support will not, on its own, constitute sufficient justification for a waiver of this requirement and could result in decreasing the student’s eligibility for financial assistance.