<p>I'm a freshman at a University finishing up my first year. Long story short, after my girlfriend broke up with me this semester I became depressed and suicidal. Through a series of events, I've essentially lost all of my friends, so I've been alone now for a while. My grades have suffered, and now there's a chance that I'm not coming back next semester. I have a plan worked out which would involve going to a community college for two years and transferring to another university, but I fear that I will regret not attending a four year University. I see my friends from high school who already have a big group of friends at their respective Universities, and a big part of me believes that next semester could be much better. But if it isn't, it'll end up being a huge monetary loss for me.</p>
<p>I have high expectations of myself, and it frustrates me when people tell me that going to a community college for two years won't be a big deal. But to me it is, because I want to attend a four year University and have those friends and memories. It's just that right now it isn't happening, and I feel that even though I might become happy in the short term if I leave, in the long term I'll be disappointed at all the lost opportunities. And I feel as if I'm running away from these problems if I leave and that I'm quitting or giving up, which really bothers me on a personal level. Instead of living on campus with a bunch of friends, I'll be living with my parents for two years (and I'll be near a few high school friends, but not even close to a majority of them).</p>
<p>Has anyone been in a similar situation? I need to make a decision before next Friday. I'm not asking anyone to make that decision for me, obviously, just need some advice.</p>
<p>(Also, I have been to counseling, once. I have an appointment next Friday, which is a really unfortunate time but it was the only available time).</p>
<p>Not out of a depression issue but out of a “I’m paying all this money for this?” issue, I left my university after 1 semester and went to a community college for two and then returned to the same university afterwards. I don’t regret that at all, I think I made the right choice. You can make friends at CC. I commuted from my parents house to the university anyway so I didn’t have an issue with having to move away from friends or anything like that though.</p>
<p>Sounds like a post written by a younger myself… I’ve been in your situation. Managed to turn things around a bit.</p>
<p>The first thing you need to do is stop comparing yourself to others, especially when you are only doing it in a negative way; in my psych class this year, our prof told us that social comparison (toward successful peers or media entities) is the easiest way to get depressed and stay depressed. In my case, i deactivated my Facebook for years and still haven’t started using it as a social platform to this day</p>
<p>The next thing you should do is meet with a trusted advisor or dean, if you have one, in order to weigh your options with someone who knows best. In my case, I was able to take a temporary leave of absence, and because of this it enabled me to take courses as a continuing student at any institution in order to prove academic readiness to return to school; in this situation, you may be able to bypass community college - possibly a quicker and more efficient means to the same ends, based on the goals in your post (staying/graduating from a 4year uni). Again, this would depend on what academic standing you have and the policies of other schools (some may not take students on academic suspension), so plan a meeting with an advisor ASAP to find out what your options are.</p>
<p>The last piece of advice I have for you is pretty simple but important: figure put what you are passionate about; it makes studying much easier (even enjoyable at times), gives you motivation, and keeps you driven when facing hardship. In the book, “How to Present like Steve Jobs,” figuring out your passion is the biggest piece of advice he offers (concluding the final chapter).</p>
<p>Good luck, and definitely dont give up hope. Focus on what you can still control and make the best of the situation you have; we all stll have a lot to be thsnkful for</p>
<p>With regards to the social/friends issue:
Don’t bet yourself up for disappearing or losing touch with friends; it’s a vicious cycle that will lead you further away from reaching out to people, which I assume you want to do. Talking to a therapist might be best, but social withdrawal is a prominent sign of a depressive episode. There are people who love and will support you, even if they only number a few. Reach out to them when you’re ready, via email or whatever; as a god friend told me in a similar circumstance, they are much more forgiving than we expect and probably not nearly as critical if us as we are our ourselves</p>
<p>Our D started at a CC and then transferred to her dream 4-year U. She kept in touch with her friends throughout. Now that they have pretty much finished their bachelors degrees, they are all working or trying to get jobs–not much difference between D and her friends who never attended CC.</p>