<p>So recently I've been treated with clinical depression, I feel sad all the time and my psychiatrist is giving me some medication. Even though I'm feeling more optimistic I'm still socially shy and I have a hard time in mingling with people.
I've join clubs and such but I always find myself being quiet and having nothing to say. Also, I have a hard time picking up the conversation because I can't focus on what they are saying.
Even thought the medication does give me a boost in focusing, I still find it hard in a normal conversation. </p>
<p>Talk to the head of your clubs. Tell them your situation and how you want to make friends. The head will help you and try keeping you involved with other students in the club.</p>
<p>Good luck, your not the only depressed person out there!</p>
<p>You sound a lot like my daughter who is a college freshman. When she was in high school, she was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. She went to see a licensed clinical social worker for almost a year. A psychiatrist prescribed an antidepressant, which gave her the kick start she needed to tackle her social anxiety. She saw her therapist every 2 weeks. During each appointment, her therapist would assign homework. Sometimes it would be something as easy as “make eye contact” with people. Anyway, she has made amazing progress. She will never be a social butterfly, but she is much more comfortable around people. She has made new friends and joined a couple of clubs.</p>
<p>If you haven’t done this already, please talk to your parents about your problem. They may not be aware of what is going on and want to help you. I recommend that you see a therapist who treats people with social anxiety. I hope this helps.</p>
<p>Study people. Practice. Like umdclassof80 said, you will need to take baby steps, such as: starting with eye contact, then a smile, then a “hello.” But what really helped me was to people-watch and see how other students begin and follow through with conversations. Then I would practice what I observed either alone in my room by running scenarios through my mind, or - if I was feeling daring - with another student. </p>
<p>I was a commuter and I also tried joining a bunch of clubs to find some friends, but it failed for me as well. It seemed like most of the students already knew each other and it was tough to speak up and be heard. Plus, I have a quiet voice that does not carry well so a lot of times if the attention wasn’t already on me, people wouldn’t even notice if I spoke up and said something unless I was in front of their face. </p>
<p>Sometimes you have to fake it to get started. A common theme in college is to chat with the person next to you about how hard a test was, or how much you hate the class, etc. Now, I loved school and didn’t find many tests difficult, but no one wants to hear about that. These usually are only ice breaker topics, anyway (e.g., “So what’d you think about that test?” “Ahh man, I think I totally bombed it, I was out most of the night with my friends.” “Yeah, me too - hey, have you been to that new bar/club/whatever yet?” …). </p>
<p>Cognitive-behavioral therapy is quite useful for these issues. It helps you by focusing on changing both your thought processes (“They’ll hate me! They’ll think I’m boring.”) AND your behaviors (learning to display inviting body language, smiling, etc.).</p>
<p>There are loads of people in your situation . Too bad you can’t start a Depressed Club , as you would find others who feel as you do . Perhaps there are discussion groups through the Health Center . I have had depression on and off through my life . I have started Paxil (generic )recently and feel great . You can get 3 months for 10 dollars on many plans . I am 57 , and an empty nest mom . I miss the daily mom stuff , but I am learning to keep busy with volunteering . Volunteering is a great way to feel better . Good luck !</p>