Depression in the beginning of the semester

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hi guys.

I’m currently a commuting freshman in my second semester of college. College hasn’t been the easiest for me so far this whole journey. While I have always held high grades and honor society membership in high school, its not necessarily the academics thats worrying me. More so the depression.

It all started the first semester of college for me (this past fall). I would be so lonely (even though I have my best friends at college), and so useless. I was very depressed the beginning of the semester and it lasted for the first, maybe 7 weeks. I would walk around campus with so many people around me but I still felt like I didn’t belong. I’d cry myself to sleep at night because I didn’t wanto to be there. Although it wasn’t a terrible long time, it felt like forever. I would open up to some of my friends, but they didn’t understand or know the severity. I never mentioned it to my family, because when I would hint that I was feeling down they’d brush it off. But as I said, halfway throughout the semester it seemed to get better. I was only looking forward to the long break to pull me through and when it came I was the happiest person.

Fast forward to last week, my first week of the spring semester. I told myself I wasn’t going to feel like that again. After all, maybe it was because last semester was my first time at college. But…here we go. I have the same feelings i’ve only ever felt about myself in the last semester. I cry myself to sleep at night, wake up feeling alright but as soon as I walk into class i get this build up and tears form in my eyes. I can’t figure out what it is but it sucks. For the last 2 days straight I thought about dropping out or taking a semester off or even changing schools next sem but I feel like none of those are an option for me. I live my days anxiously awaiting the weekend to get away from school life, but I just spend my whole weekend upset about whats to come.

I’m taking 18 credits and I’m undeclared with a major. I feel as though I have to take that many credits this semester to stay on track. But at the same time, I want to drop classes but I really don’t have any interest or liking for any of them that I’m currently taking so I am just going to continue since they all pretty much suck (They’re required classes.)

Anyone else feel like this? Sorry for the enormous post. I’m having one of those days. :confused:

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It it totally normal to feel worried about starting a new semester. There is a lot uncertainty that surrounds the new semester because you don’t know where your classes are or how hard they will be. I would recommend talking to a campus advisor or therapist. Now is a good time to use these people as support and it is typically covered in your tuition. Talking to a professional, especially one on a college campus, could be very beneficial to you. We definitely all have “those days” but if the last for a long period of time then it might be time to seek help. I am going into my senior year and I still get incredibly nervous about a new semester. However, I find talking it out to be helpful whether it is with friends or a professional. I hope this helps and that you feel better soon. In the meantime, find something productive to utilize your free time such as finding a hobby that helps you to not dwell on your feelings for the time.