<p>I am rising junior with a GPA of 3.636. Freshman year was terrible for me because I had severe clinical depression and an eating disorder. I got help at the start of Sophomore year and my accumulative GPA for this year was around a 3.9 (brining my GPA up from a 3.5). However, recently a friend of mine committed suicide and my parents are getting a divorce and I feel like they hate me and want me gone and I'm really stressed. I'm also in an online class for french, french 2A. I only was in french 1 this year because my parents didn't want me to be "stressed out," yeah right....I hate this. My final for french is coming up on the 31st and I have around a 95-94.9% in that class and I need a 93 to get an A. the final is worth 8.56% of my grade. I'm so scared. If I screw this up then I proved my parents and everyone right. I am a failure. I need this A. Without it my GPA can only get worse. What do I do???? I'm going to study my tail off for this but what if it isn't enough? What if any college admissions takes one look at my app and laughs at it? What if I am going to be stuck at a state school where...my family can visit me...? What do I do?</p>
<p>You said you got help before. Can ya go back to that?</p>
<p>Anyways, no one is going to be disappointed with a little B in French. Not your parents, and not the schools you’re applying to. Calling a B a failure?! Goodness. I go to a top 20 school and I rejoice when I pull off a B!</p>
<p>Please know that in the big scheme of things, grades should never be the source of your inner peace and happiness. Life is bigger than an A or B or C letter grade. </p>
<p>Besides, your grades are fine - There are loads of schools you will qualify for and even be scholarship possibilities in any state, so just keep plugging away. </p>
<p>Finally, find a friend and have a Coke and a piece of cake . Breathe - it is good for the soul…and don’t let school grades become more important than they should be.</p>
<p>See a therapist. ASAP. They really can help you.</p>
<p>I’ve struggled with depression a number of times during my life. It’s just a fact of life for some people. The important thing is to know the signs for when it’s time to go see someone, and it sounds like that’s what you’re experiencing now. A friend’s suicide on top of your parents’ divorce are two very major triggers. So go talk to someone.</p>
<p>Study and get a therapist? Thats probably the best course of action</p>
<p>Get back to the therapist and prescribing doctor that helped you before. They will be able to help you determine if you are indeed suffering a recurrence of the clinical depression. You might be. You might also be having a very normal reaction to some extremely stressful life events (in which case the therapist can still help). You’re fixating of the grade in French when you really should be focusing on these bigger issues.</p>
<p>You’re dealing with really tough stuff. No doubt you are stressed. </p>
<p>You need some joy in your life and you need it now. It’s Saturday. Put away the books. Find some friends to hang out with - or go out alone. Go to the beach, to a lake, to a park, hike in the mountains. Breathe and taste fresh air, drink water from a stream, go to a concert, go to an art museum, go to the zoo or the aquarium. Run around in the rain. Find a place to play in mud and just get filthy with reckless abandon. Laugh. </p>
<p>Find some beauty somewhere. Do something that you enjoy. Live for the present, just for the weekend. Don’t dwell on the past, don’t dwell on the future. Experience joy in the present. Maybe meditate somewhere. Close your eyes and just listen to the sounds of your own breath. </p>
<p>The French sounds like it’s important to you. On Sunday evening go back to studying. Embrace it. Enjoy the material. </p>
<p>The tough stuff won’t go away, but you have the power to handle it, to compartmentalize it. </p>
<p>I’ve always been told that pressure is good and stress is bad. Embrace the pressure. Dissipate the stress. </p>
<p>On Monday morning make an appointment to see a therapist. Nothing bad can happen. It’s just a test. You do your best, and you move on.</p>
<p>Great post ClasssicRockerDad! Good advice for all of us!</p>
<p>The excessive focus on and precision of numbers like GPA (3.636) and percentage of grade for the final (8.56%) is of concern, and at first, I even doubted the authenticity of this post. I wonder if you have a tendency toward obsessive-compulsive thinking.</p>
<p>Basically, and I know this is hard, I think you need to focus on learning, not the grade. I know the whole school culture, and possibly your parents, emphasize grades but really they are just supposed to evaluate learning and progress. Don’t make them so important.</p>
<p>Depression is often a chronic problem. I don’t know if you are on meds, but see a psychiatrist to either start them or adjust them. I hope your eating disorder is okay but if not, get help again for that.</p>
<p>State schools are often great schools, and affordable. If you can get into a state school, that is not a bad bottom line for college admissions, and they often have honors programs.</p>
<p>I don’t know if you have people in your life who are making you feel like a failure, or if that is coming from you, yourself. Plenty of very accomplished people suffer from depression and in some ways, it is helpful to have identified it as such a young age. You are not a failure, and life is more forgiving than you think.</p>
<p>Try to be authentic in your goals, rather than depending on external opinions or measures like grades. Try to relax and enjoy, at least once your depression is better. It is hard to relax and enjoy anything when you are depressed. I hope you feel better.</p>
<p>It is a stressful moment in your life so do not try to deal with things alone, get help! Exercise to boost your endorphins and to lower stress, try to connect to friends even if you do not feel like it, get out and do non school related things (do not stay home it only makes you think more about your problems), concentrate in all the good things you have going on for yourself. Professional help can be found in many places but I would start by looking back at what worked for you in the past. Depression do not need to overcome you, but you need to be proactive. Good luck!</p>
<p>I agree with those who said to get help, now. I also realize that when you’re depressed, it can be very difficult to take the steps you need to improve your mood. But channel your energy to find someone to help you, before anything else.</p>
<p>For sure the suicide and divorce are terrible things for you to deal with. Just remember that your parents must be preoccupied with their own troubles right now. Not that it’s right, just that you may be misinterpreting their preoccupation–you think it’s hostility or disappontment, but it could be that they just aren’t noticing what’s going on with you. Iit may just be the way it is for now. If you think either of them can be helpful to you, maybe you can approach them and ask for their help, maybe to help you make the call to a therapist you’ve dealt with before, rather than thinking that they don’t care because they don’t notice what you’re going through right now.</p>
<p>Good luck, and I certainly agree that a B is not the end of the world. You need to get help.</p>
<p>ClassicRockerDad has some good advice. </p>
<p>Get out in the SUN. It is well known to improve mood, as you soak in all that Vitamin D.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for what you are going through. A lot of us had tough times too, and we made it. You will too. Just hang in there and every day will get a little better.</p>
<p>Don’t worry so much. This is just one part of your life. You will go to college and do well somewhere. It will all work out.</p>