Desperately need someone to grade my essay

<p>Assignment: Do we need people in order to understand ourselves? </p>

<p>Essay: Society is the standard to which we compare ourselves. Without others, how would we judge right or wrong, for instance? Even though some people wouldn't like to admit it, we are constantly adjusting our behavior to what we judge most correct--all because of how other people interfere in our lives.
One example is at the very end of Dostoevsky's novel "Crime and Punishment". The main character, Raskolnikov, is in a prison in Siberia for having killed two women. He had accepted his punishment as he was sentenced but only from an objective point of view: he still felt detached from society, as if his crime had been somehow warranted due to his superiority. He only really comes to terms with his crimes when he realizes Sonya, whom he loves, loves him back despite his crimes. He then fully understands his mistakes and lets go of his Napoleonic sense of need for greatness, as he happily imagines a future with Sonya.
Also, in the brazilian novel "The Flame in the Wind" by Julio Pimentel, we can see another good example. The narrator Roberta spends nearly all of her life deceiving others to get what she wants, telling herself "the world is rough" and "everybody does it." She lies to her parents about having children so they'd give her money, lies to her husband so he'll marry her and she can become rich--telling him her sister, whom he trule loves, has died in a car crash in Peru. Roberta is inevitably caught and almost everyone she'd lied to recently gives her a wake-up call. She realizes her reasons stem from childhood traumas, of feelings of inferiority and insecurity, and vows to change. Even though everyone she loved leaves her in the end, she understands it's justifiable to do so, and tries to become a better person for herself.
We don't often realize our mistakes by ourselves. Whether other people point them out deliberately or not, they help us understand our flaws so we can improve our human essence. In the end, the people around us have more effect on who we are than we do ourselves.</p>

<p>Please, anything at all is very much appreciated! I'm so nervous about the essay part, I haven't ever been formally scored so I have no idea what to expect.</p>

<p>Keep it on topic and keep your position clear. Your position is lost within your examples in my view and you go a little bit off topic. Here is an exemplar that scored a 12 for your question.</p>

<p>It is often by considering and evaluating the characteristics of others that we come to a true and wholesome understanding of who we are. The maxim “birds of the same feather flock together” is especially true, simply because we identify like and positive characteristics in others that we treasure in ourselves. Similarly, upon consideration of personality that we detest, we find traits that we either do not possess or merely dislike. The idea that we need other people in order to truly understand ourselves is rooted in the phenomena that our friends and foes are a reflection of our true persona. Therefore, by considering our interactions with these people, we can clearly define who we are. Evidence of this theory can be seen in the Sophocles’ play Antigone as well as in the novel Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.</p>

<p>A clear representation of this idea, the play Antigone examines the contrasting relationship between Antigone and her pride-driven uncle Creon. The novel centers around the death of Antigone’s brother who Creon refuses to bury because of his own hubris. Antigone, however, sticks up for what she believes to be right. Ismene, Antigone’s sister, is of the same opinion, but she is too meek and afraid to voice her own opinion. It is through her consideration of the way that Antigone behaves that she realizes this weakness. Hence, she contrasts Antigone’s brave actions in standing up for Eteocles with her avoidance of the situation to realize something important about her personality. She works to change this characteristic, but it was in her evaluation of Antigone that allowed her to realize this of herself. This shows that true realization of ourselves lies in our interactions with others and hence, we need others in order to understand who we are.</p>

<p>Analogous to this idea is that of Rand’s in her novel Fountainhead. The novel describes a young boy named Howard Roark whose abundance of talent is riveting to the whole society, yet scorn for his modernistic ideas is omnipresent. His acquaintance Keating is also very successful in the industry; however, he reforms his ideas to fit society’s. Keating feels powerful and successful because he works with a very successful architect. He is proud of the corrupt methods that he uses to gain power. However, he sees the dark nature of his ways when he speaks to Roark who has a tendency to look past the entire glamor that surrounds Keating. It is only when Keating is with Roark, that he feels dirty and wrong for his misdeeds because he contrasts his actions with the pure and powerful ideas of Roark. Overall, this shows that it is only in reflection of others that we can truly understand ourselves because we inherently compare and contrast personalities to identify what we treasure and hate in ourselves.</p>

<p>In conclusion, the entirety of both Antigone and Fountainhead demonstrate the idea that we must look in others to find what we like and hate about ourselves. This is shown through Keating’s consideration of Roark as well as Ismene’s evaluation of Antigone. Therefore, it is easy to see why we need people in order to truly understand ourselves.</p>

<p>Feel free to post up some more essays later, I’ll be checking the site periodically and I got an 11 on mine when I took the test.</p>