lmao just go to deerfield
FWIW, @lucbp36 and others, have you read the Deerfield Scroll lately? If you change the colors and mascot, it could just as well be the newspaper from PEA (and pretty much every other school) at this point in time. The Scroll (a high school newspaper!) even published an official endorsement of one of the Presidential candidates last year. Meanwhile, back at Berkeley⊠sigh
no @Golfgr8
Iâm having a tough time not agreeing with Post #40.
Without trying to be condescending or doubting the OP, the only answer is to be solution-oriented. If that is as little as ignoring conservative-bashing as long as it doesnât impact your grades, thatâs fine, if thatâs as much as finding a lawyer who will sue PEA on the basis of hostile academic environment, thatâs fine too.
Perhaps working on common ground, things that liberals canât, or at least shouldnât disagree with, would be a good idea.
Otherwise, just suck it up and make it a teachable lesson - just as folks who are homosexual or Catholic or black or atheist or Jewish or Scandinavian or PTSD survivors etc. might like to meet and talk about their common issues among those they will have something in common with, find fellow conservatives and meet and talk to them. There has to be at least one teacher who is conservative or who is a liberal who is pro-tolerance.
To be honest, Iâm a socal liberal and fiscal conservative, but I am really tired of tolerance tipping the scale to become intolerance. If some dude donates a ton of dough to a college, does he have to be tried first to see if he is guilty of any non-PC behavior?
Itâs like you need a kind of gay-straight alliance model, a liberal-conservative alliance. Thereâs got to be some common ground.
I am quite thrilled to see some sane input on this thread. To say that PEA may not be the right place may not be incorrect but neither is it right. I have always found it disturbing when people want to be at places where they only hear what they want to hear. They could not be more intellectually weak or dishonest. A politician who votes the party line on every item could not be more intellectually weak or dishonest. Students from every quarter shouldnt just mean the color of their skin or the number of dollars in their wallets.
I donât know what really goes on at PEA (although I assume there is at least a kernel of truth in the OPâs report), but it is very clear that in some colleges there has developed a disturbing culture of left-wing intolerance and unwillingness to hear other points of view. Iâm a liberal Democrat. I live in the real world. I have friends who are Republicans. We talk - sometimes about some very serious issues on which we disagree. We remain friends. High school and college students need to learn to do that - to listen to people with whom they disagree, find common ground where they can, continue to disagree where they canât, and continue to treat each other as humans. Teachers should be helping that to happen. I am very glad that my children are going to a school where respectful disagreement is an essential part of the culture and where they are influenced by teachers with various points of view, not just a single party line.
As a parent of two NEW International students at Exeter Iâm reading through this discussion with curiosity. My daughters defined the recent âExeter Academy Dayâ as an âAnti-Bullying Dayâ not a day focused on racial issues. Not everyone at Exeter fits neatly in the extreme viewpoints expressed by the OP. The comments on this thread emphasize the polarization that exists right now in the USA. I appreciate that the Exeter Administrators are trying to figure out how to respond to the protests that occurred at the end of the last school year. They are trying. Hopefully continued discussions will help every Exeter student, including the original poster, feel like they can find a way âto fitâ at Exeter. My kids are loving their Exeter experience so far. Theyâre making the most of the wonderful opportunity to attend PEA.
I think you have two choices: transfer or learn to live with it. Can you step back, emotionally distance yourself from some of the stuff you donât like and continue? Be an intellectual, thoughtful conservative, albeit one who will be infamous on campus? Accept you wonât change any minds politically, but by being a good guy, you will show people that conservatives arenât the devil. Be the guy who makes the counterargument that makes people think. But also be the considerate roommate and the kind team mate.
I have one kid at a LAC. There is a very small Republican group on campus. The leader of the group is a very disciplined, quiet student. My son is a pretty typical liberal student and became friends with the Republican leader through membership on a sports team. They bonded over nonpolitical experiences, like training and missing home (they are both from southern red states). Republican leader did feel like an outsider because of his political beliefs, but he carved out a place for himself at the school using his other qualities. People disagreed with his politics but they didnât demonize him because he was more than his politics. He was an admirable guy.
FWIW I feel like this is my situation as an adult but in reverse. I am a liberal in a conservative community. Because I have a strong sense of duty, I end up doing a lot of stuff for our communityâblock parties, getting roads fixed, etc. And my chief collaborator isâŠa conservative, ex military Republican.
Sadly the way to fit at Exeter regarding these issues is to keep your mouth shut. SwimKid said something in passing and called me that night upset because of you say anything more conservative, you are rediculed. Strange for a place where harkness is the methodology. However we knew this going in (not quite to the full extent) and told him that he needs to keep certain sentiments to himself because he will never change the other sideâs mind and it isnât worth the fight. You do not need to attend every argument you are invited to. I actually want him to hear sentiments that are different from his and understand the world view. This is the world that we are living in currently. He needs to learn how to navigate the current climate and be understanding of both sides of a coin. He is struggling with the having to use gender neutral pronouns. Not because he chooses not to use them, but after 15 years of referring to a woman as her/she and a man as he/him, it is hard to change you mind to naturally use they. And then the fear of being criticized for not using a gender neutral term, adds to the stress, especially if you can only address a teacher without using he/she. You are afraid how you use those pronouns with affect your grades or how others will view you.
To the OP, stay true to who you are and your beliefs. You donât need to attend the battles. Feel confident in your views and try to be open minded of the views of others. Know that there are others who share your beliefs on campus. At some point the focus will change to a different societal issue where you may find yourself on the other side. You will then will have an understanding of what it is like to be in the opposite side of an issue and will be able to better communicate because of it. There are some serious lessons that can be learned with this situation. That is a major reason and benefit to attending a large diverse boarding school.
Sorry but if an Eric turning into an Erica is the biggest problem of your day, find some new problems please. However I do agree that most boarding schools do lean leftwards. I can kind of feel it at Choate, although Iâve never felt like Iâve had it forced upon me. I canât speak from the perspective of a republican because in all honestly I donât see myself as left or right, but I can speak as somebody who has agreed with and outwardly agreed with some rightward views.
@nico.campbell young centrists tho?
@applejuice007 I didnât even know that was a club until yesterday
I suggested that maybe Exeter is not the right fit for the OP because he/she/they seems to be emotionally invested that everyone does not agree with him/her instead of trying to find some common ground. From his previous posts, the OP knew of the environment at Exeter and still chose to attend. As the mother of a black male we knew that my child would not be in an environment where everyone would look or think like him and he has been taught well to pick his battles and to listen to other in an effort to understand their point of view. My advice to the OP: When you come into a situation not able to understand others viewpoint then you set yourself up for failure. Donât take everything personally because most things are not. For instance, I would think that learning to use new pronouns to describe people the way they want to be described is new for all students, not just the conservative students. Did ALES really decide how you would spend your day or did the administration make that decision and you chose to blame ALES. Look at your assumptions about things and people you donât agree with. Assume good intent and go from there to have a dialogue. Follow the platinum rule: Treat people the way they want to be treated. If you canât do these thing then perhaps Exeter is really not the place for you. Finally, find a trusted adult on campus to talk about your feelings with as there appears to be so much anger within you. And by the way, tell your friend that it is not true that most black kids do not have both parents in their life.
@twinsmama there is far more than a kernel of truth in the OPs comments. As I mentioned earlier, all one has to do is read The Exonian or watch the assemblies stream online to get a very good sense of how very real it is. While I dont know the OP I hear these exact stories from my own and their friends- and for people to doubt the OP is rather sad. Why is everyone so unwilling to believe him/her? Posters routinely come here and tell everyone about their GPAS and scores and awards and all of the schools they get into and everyone believes them. In fact an awful lot of things are âbelievedâ on the forum that are reported with far less ability to verify than the actual PEA school paper and publicly streamed assemblies. You make some wonderful comments @twinsmama about being able to discuss, disagree and remain cordial if not close friends. I grew up in a very liberal family in communities of very liberal academia and have family members that have served in very high positions with said credentials. I was fortunate to observe that liberalism tempered with reason. i.e an illegal immigrants are here illegally. Or life begins at conception-scientifically-but it is a womanâs right to choose. You are very lucky your kids are at a school where respectful disagreement is part of the culture. At PEA you better keep your mouth shut if you donât agree and there is no adult to talk to because they are nearly all the same. Even if they are not, they keep their heads down. @queenmother ALES bullied the administration into all of this by using the race card which is a very effective tool of intimidation. They ruined the last day of classes last year and made a video of their experiences with racism on campus which (was reported in the school paper and during assemblies) were examples like catcalls when walking through town (not even at PEA) and name mispronunciation. I.e much to do about nothing. @Snowman66 yes I agree they tried to make it less about race and couch it in terms of bullying. However they made the students watch the ALES video as a precursor to the Academy Life Day activities so how you can opine that it had nothing to do with race I donât quite understand. It was all about race. The sad thing is that PEA is in so many ways the most colorblind, diverse place you could ever dream ofâwhich is why we chose it. The school administration is weak and is getting weaker. They are empowering these kids who are looking for a cause by giving in to all this nonsense. Next up: remove all the portraits in the assembly hall (which are all of white men) because it is offensiveâthey compare it to removing confederate statues. To which I would say, the school YOU CHOSE TO ATTEND (just as @queenmother says to OP) wouldnât be there if not for those people.
It makes me so sad that our politics are so polarized, we would rather stereotype and diminish each otherâs views rather than listen, learn, find common ground, and collaborate for lasting solutions. @Bunny8280: I would urge you to take a deep breath, relax, try to not be as reactive to the other sideâs views, and see if you can model civil discourse and fight to find common ground. We need your generation to come together for the common good. We need you to heal the divisiveness that has poisoned all political discourse. We need you to develop and hone those skills. Only then will you be able to use your education, knowledge, skills, and creativity to unite and solve problems that have vexed previous generations. Please?
I have an academically gifted nephew who is a freshman and a conservative like the OP. I think there are likely many STEM star kids like him at PEA. He lives in an area where Fox news is on every public tv - hospitals, airport etc. His father is a committed conservative and very political; my nephew has not had much exposure to my own liberal viewpoints and he would definitely feel like a political fish out of water at many BSs. I also know he personally does not have the maturity at 14 to handle being excluded and ridiculed because of beliefs he is only beginning to develop at this age and may not articulate well yet.
For me, my hope for all Bss is conservative or otherwise leaning kids will feel empowered to express themselves respectfully on campus and that the grown ups will help to facilitate this, however imperfectly these conversations may evolve, so that meaningful discussions can occur. Itâs a shame if a schoolâs culture inhibits itâs ability to educate both of these kids well. You need to be free to express and test your beliefs in order to become educated. Shutting out opposing views by essentially shouting them down or shaming the kid who expresses them also shuts down the chance to learn from each other, practice tolerance and properly modulate feelings and behavior. All essential adult qualities.
Coming down hard on a new student who makes a mistake with a pronoun is a bit much, but a teacherâs matter of fact correction is fine. A studentâs willfully ignoring a studentâs pronoun choice because he or she finds it ridiculous should not be tolerated as it is disrespectful, but people can and do make mistakes. I have seen parents of a trans child make this same mistake with no ill will intended; we are all learning. These are contentious and scary times for all of us. We need to treat each other with kindness and compassion and temper our anger a bit. Anger is fear based; when people feel heard, anger lessens.
Regarding the prompt quoted by @Bunny8280 Those types of prompts do not necessarily have a right or wrong responses. Part of BS is teaching you how to discuss tough stuff like this and I believe the prompt is designed to open a dialogue and not to lead you to any one answer. This type of intentional ambiguity to spur debate is very different than public schoolâs usual MO. Not sure how the conversation went, but itâs possible the prompt exists because the faculty sees that students are having difficulty around this topic. You could talk to your advisor about your feelings - you may find some faculty actually share your concerns regarding intolerance being expressed by some students on the left. Itâs definitely a valid discussion to have both as an individual and as a school body. I hope PEA is not as extreme as some of these posts suggests, but I for one do not find it all difficult to believe there is an issue. The news has been full of similar anecdotes at Yale, Berkeley, etc.
OP:
My son is very conservative, and attends BS. We often get into heated arguments. He attends a BS that is very liberal, and feels ostracized for his views as well. However there is a wrong way and a right way to express your views. Here is a recent example from one of our conversations (exaggerated to make the point):
Wrong Way: Health care is not a right. This is a states right issue and I donât want to pay for other peopleâs ineptitude and have my taxes raised
Right Way: I believe that any powers not explicitly described in the constitution should be left for the states to decide. In the case of health care a free market economy works better, and forcing a fixed market will result in higher costs for everyone down the line.
It sounds like to me that the way you are expressing your arguments is what is rubbing people the wrong way. Listen to the collective wisdom of people on this board. If you present an intelligent, cogent argument, there is no reason you shouldnât be taken seriously. Take a deep breath and listen to what teachers and others are telling you.
I donât think that I âopined that it had nothing to do with raceâ. I indicated how my kids saw it âŠas anti- bullying. I donât dismiss any of the comments or viewpoints in this very thought provoking thread.
SoâŠhas anyone seen a good movie lately?
MODERATORâS NOTE: Iâm having to delete some political commentary. Please refrain from any more political comments or the thread will be closed.