If you are interested in politics, the local office of either political party is often a good place to start. Most are always in need of volunteers.
But it sounds like your true interests are reading and writing. Why not explore those? Volunteer at your local library. Start a blog about true crime novels.
See where you are in six months and go from there. None of these are head-turners from a college app perspective, but will help you start to engage with the world while pursuing your interests.
I second the cal Newport suggestion. Also the MIT “applying sideways” post.
@politeperson I would say that I’m on the edge about reading and writing. I definitely have a talent for writing; I think i have a natural ability of having my thoughts flow eloquently into words. The problem is - I wouldn’t say it’s something I enjoy doing in my spare time. There’s no time when I’m at home and bored, and my thought is to start writing. Sometimes I do have that thought for reading though- I could declare reading as a true interest of mine. I believe I have looked into volunteering at a local library, but the hours didn’t work with my parent’s work hours (of course that’s what it always has to come down to).
I suppose my main issue right now isn’t trying to figure out what I am interested, but more so finding what to do with the things I’m interested in.
I’ll definitely look into the suggestions!
Maybe open up your own Private Investigation shop, interview a homicide detectivce in a city near you for your school paper, volunteer at the DA’s office. You have to do something interesting and more than participate. Be a leader. You just have to be one step ahead of others at your school applying to colleges in your leadership.
I live in a suburban area of NJ. Two state reps offices are within five or ten mins of my house. If you were my DD, I’d drive you over and let you go in and ask how you could learn more about local government and help out. You could also go to your town offices, where the mayor is, and do the same thing.
The American Leagion Auxiliary has expense paid summer camps for teen girls all over the country for them to learn about civics. One is held in NJ. I ran across it a while back while googling.
You could also attend school board meetings. Where we live, local school boards are used as launching pads for local politicians. It would be a way to get to know people and canvass for the ones you like at election time.
Our local politicians also provide opportunities for the public to come and meet them at a local business. Keep your eyes open for chances like that.
I have no interest in politics but a few years back, I got involved in a very small way in a local issue that mattered to me. It was interesting that people started to recognize me after that. So I think by taking baby steps, you will get to know people and opportunities will open up for you.
Remember, though, it’s not about passions. As a former Stanford admission dean said, paraphrasing: passions take long to evolve; when we look at ours, we see a progression over years, if not decades, various experiences leading up. No one expects a 17 y.o. to have identified passions.
As adults, we know some of what we do is because it leads us to our end goals. We don’t often get to say, I don’t like it, so I’ll stop.
@lookingforward is absolutely correct. It can’t be something just for the sake of the application or something that you will stop.
My dd’s passions have been with her for as long as I can remember.
When she was 3, she used to pretend she was a gorilla and climbed on top of her Dad picking at his arm hairs, imagining that she needed to pick bugs off of him. As she got older, she dragged us to museums to see the latest dolphin exhibits. She always wanted to work as a vet or in a clinic. We couldn’t have a dog because her dad is allergic. When she volunteered for my friend, she was 15. In college, she worked in a lab (got paid), but volunteered working (every Saturday, for two years-7am to 6pm) in a free diabetes clinic. She has a passion for this type of work.
My eldest dd used our VCR tapes at age 2 to build buildings, stairs, houses, etc. Grandpa’s house had an old Tinkertoy set that she LOVED. Then she graduated to Legos and blocks and wondered why there were no other colors in Legos other than red, blue green and yellow. She built vehicles, buildings, bridges, beds, etc. She loved coloring books. She’s an engineer now.
My youngest wanted to be an astronaut and wanted me to make his halloween costume at age 3 to be an astronaut and was really mad that I forgot to make his oxygen tank. We had to go to Florida to visit NASA because Grandpa told him he had worked on the Apollo missions and gave son a NASA patch.
DS also liked fantasy books about space, Mars, etc. He built and designed a shed for his team and looked at the best positioning for future solar use storing items. He’s studying engineering and physics at his college.
There has to have been something that you have liked, for years. We don’t know what that is. That is your “like”. Use that as a stepping stone. Ideas? baking, coloring, volunteering at the food bank, carnival games, sports, tie-dying, lip-singing, etc.
@“aunt bea” The things that I have liked for years probably include debating and reading. I have always been a huge fan of books and reading, and ever since middle school I have loved persuasive essays, arguing with other people, and debating(it may sound forced, but it’s just something I love doing). There are other interests I have abandoned since then, such as art and theater, simply because I was no good. I have always been a fan of the arts, but I don’t have an aptitude for them. I even went to art school for 6 years, but I stopped enjoying it after my favorite teacher left. So really the only things that have stuck with me for years are reading and debating other people. Also have been a huge fan of rock music for years upon years ever since my dad made me a fan when I was really young(just thought that should be included because it has been a huge part of my life for very long).
Just wanted to come back for more advice on developing my interests.
So, I have been really looking into a lot of opportunities that cater to my interests. I feel like my parents are really holding me back. My mom refuses to have any discussion with me about any of this and slams the door in my face when I try to talk about this. She says that I should just apply to the Governor’s School and hope that gets me far enough to get in to top colleges. I tell her that I need to go farther than that and actually need to focus on developing my interests. Then it seems like she is advocating for me to just give up on top schools and give up on all of this and just shoot for okay schools with the credentials I have now. She thinks any idea I have is ridiculous, won’t work, and basically doesn’t want to help me. She is constantly making up excuses to why I shouldn’t be doing things and I really cant do half the things I want to do without some kind of parental guidance/assistance. And my dad really couldn’t care less about any of this. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but it’s so difficult to be on the same page on them with things and it’s really hard to explore all these things without them providing me with any help. I really have no idea what I am going to do without them opening up to the idea of me trying new things. I really hate for my parents to be the reason why I don’t reach my full potential.
The best thing that I’ve learned from the whole college admissions process is that you shouldn’t be focused on trying to get into the best college. If it comes, great, if it doesn’t, oh well. Your main focus should be on developing your own gifts and talents to the best of your ability. Employers aren’t going to care that much about where you went to college and while that 3.9 GPA in college may help you get your first job, how productive you are down the road is what is going to determine your long-term success.
@IN4655 I completely understand where that comes from. I really have an issue with myself in that I really feel like I can’t be successful unless I get into a top school. It comes from many places inside me. I was brought up being told that I was the extremely gifted one and that I could change the world with my intelligence. Recently I have learned that no matter how gifted I may be, things aren’t going to go exactly as I planned. It’s a difficult thing for me to deal with, though, because it’s like all my dreams are just being shattered in front of my face in a matter of months. Ever since 7th grade when I first visited Princeton I have fell in love with the idea of going to a top, ivy league school and coming out extremely successful and happy. And ever since I realized that that probably isn’t going to be the case I have gotten really discouraged, depressed and pessimistic for my future. I realize that I should probably not weigh my long term success with the ranking of my college, but as someone who has dreamed of big things for so long it is just becoming difficult to settle for less. It’s very difficult being as ambitious as I am and then falling short of your dreams. And I know I am smart and ambitious enough to go to a top school; I am 100% confident in my abilities to succeed. Though I suppose I’m going to end up settling for less. I just hate to think that I have wasted my potential in an okay school when I feel I’m smart enough for a great one. It’s not really even about the ranking of the school for me. I really just want a college that gives me a vigorous experience that really opens my mind and helps me learn more about myself and the world around me, and I really hope that whatever college I go to can give me that experience.
Sorry for the long and pessimistic reply. I guess I’m just looking to spill my thoughts & put them into words about this stuff since they are feelings I’ve been repressing for a while.
If you want to learn more about the world around you, why wait until you’re in college? Take a look around now. You’re probably surrounded by smart people. Many probably won’t be attending an elite university due to finances or simply because the available spots are so limited. Nowhere is it written that you can only be successful if you attend an Ivy.
When you apply to an Ivy and they ask why you want to go there you’ll need a better answer than you’re giving here – you’re “extremely gifted” and you can only be successful if you attend an elite school – because they want to know what you’re bringing to the table. Everyone they admit is intelligent, so that won’t help you, and the narrow view of what constitutes success will work against you.
What are the “okay” schools you think you’re going to have to “settle” for if you can’t pursue the activities you want? What activities is your mom refusing to let you do? What’s preventing you from doing them (or something similar)? Time? Money? What are you doing to try to find a way to make them work? Just giving up and saying your mom won’t let you won’t get you into the schools you want. How you approach this challenge will tell the schools you apply to what kind of person you are. Only you can determine what that is. Good luck.
OP needs to get activated, not think this to death. Nor wait to find the perfect opportunities. Or permission.
Being told you’re gifted isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, unless you get out of your rut and get going. Nor is being 100% certain. They do not admit based on your teen confidence, but your follow-through and results. Meanwhile, tons of kids are out there, doing, not stuck pondering.
“difficult being as ambitious as I am and then falling short of your dreams”
Then get going. Ambition without action = sitting around.
Just an anecdote. My friend’s son is a very bright top stats senior very activated in his passion that next year will go to a very average directional school because of unfortunate financial family issues. The kid is already planning projects with his future professors that are very excited to get a kid of this caliber. He is super excited, he is “on fire”. That’s a kid that’s ambitious and going for it. Get in to that kind of thinking. Go out, do stuff. Things will fall in to place. It also a possibility that your interests don’t showcase much right now. So what? With your stats you can get in into a variety of very good colleges and you can shine there. Law is a grad school anyway. You have a long way ahead.
I have contacted the Alezheimer’s Association trying to find ways to get involved. Have submitted an editorial to the New York Times. Emailed my senator asking a few questions. Asked my guidance counselor about starting a debate team. Taken countless hours trying to find affordable academic summer camps, emailing my guidance counselor for opportunities (can’t afford any of them). I am trying so hard and it feels like everyone is working against me. None of these things that I mentioned worked out and I am at a loss of ideas trying to figure out what to try next. I haven’t just sat here thinking about these things, I have USED my ambition and am trying to figure things out and I’m just sick of nothing working.
You’re emailing and not following through. You can’t wait for other people to make these things happen for you. You make them happen, period. This shouldn’t have to be explained. If it’s not inherently in you, then don’t force it.
Maybe it’s difficult for you because you expect things handed to you. That’s not what these schools want.
A lot of the posters here have children who didn’t go to the top schools, but did “workarounds” to become successful physicians, engineers, scientists, etc.
I taught at a high school and was sports team mom for multiple teams (and YEARS). I’ve had many students seek my advice or ask me to sponsor their clubs, THEIR IDEAS.
The “successful”, ambitious students came to me, personally, with print-outs of things they wanted to attempt. (Our high school required a teacher to sponsor a club mostly to have a meeting room and adult supervision.) I sponsored the: robotics club, the Food Bank kids, the Weekend Farmers Market, the Backpack/school supply drive, the Gameboard lunch bunch, Dungeons and Dragons, Tennis Racquet collection, Mother Earth, etc.
My own kids came to me with multiple ideas, but sought out the opportunities on their own, mostly walking in and meeting people.
If nothing like this rings a bell, or makes any sense to you, then it’s really not in you. Sorry to be harsh but: we shouldn’t have to explain to you, how to serve yourself and others and how have a conscience about the world.
^ Your a lot more likely to get into something if you come to them personally and get in their face than if you e-mail them. Its a lot easier to ignore e-mails than a person.
@“aunt bea” This is where my parents come into the situation. My parents do not feel any of these steps are necessary. They don’t want to drive me to places to meet people and talk about things. I don’t have a license, so I can’t drive myself places to meet people. My parents are my only way to do these things. I do have school opportunities, which I have been taking advantage of for the past two years. I have basically taken advantage of my teachers and counselors in every way I can. Outside of school? Not unless my parents agree to drive me places to meet people, which they have been adamantly refusing.
Most of these activities were with non-drivers, so this is a non issue. Many of the clubs were held once a week during lunch. So, this is a sappy excuse. Where there is a will, there is a way.
These students came up with ideas on their own.
My son participated in an after school tutoring club that was created by his teammate, STUDY BUDDIES.
The students walked down the hill to the middle school and helped kids with ADHD and anyone else who needed homework help. Kevin, the club creator didn’t have a ride home and thought that others would also have a problem. He created a carpool for the non-drivers, so after the Study Buddies were done, everyone had rides home. He had about 20 student volunteers with a waiting list such that during his sports season, there were always replacement volunteers. Needless to say Kevin got into UCLA. We gave him his ride home M-Th.
You are making excuses. If your parents feel so strongly about not helping their child achieve to her greatest potential, then apply to local schools. If you are such a strong student, you’ll make your own way in the world, regardless of where you go to school.
