Developing self confidence

<p>I just dont know. Maybe its not my nature or whatever it is, but I constantly find that I degrade myself in whatever I do or whatever I accomplish. </p>

<p>So, I am EIC of my school paper and to be honest I really do work hard for it, I've done a lot for it this year and started new projects for the paper, etc. etc. In fact, I intially found myself so involved with the paper that some of my grades began to drop..but for some reason I feel like my efforts have gone unnoticed. I am actually a "co-EIC" with another very very bright and talented person. However, he often "takes over" at meetings and is definitely more outspoken than I am and I know for a fact that it is not at all intentional. But, my advisor seems to take it otherwise. I feel as though the advisor finds the other EIC more capable than I. Idk...these thoughts keep bothering me and its hard to tell myself to speak up more and try be as overpowering as the other EIC, because that is simply not how I am. </p>

<p>Our production weeks are usually very "hardcore" and I often find myself leaving school with far lower self confidence than usual. Idk what to do or how to console myself or tell myself to stop worrying about this. </p>

<p>I really do love newspaper but I jsut dread situations where I feel inferior and believe that happens quite often. :(.</p>

<p>Sorry I guess this is a rant? IDK, has anyone ever felt like this before?</p>

<p>I had it when I played basketball sophomore year and it really brought me down... i can still say that I am not the most confident guy, but am much improved since then. Although I can't relate specifically to that situation, quitting basketball helped lol</p>

<p>ya well i cant possibly quit NOW. besides i do actually love writing/editing, its just that i often feel overpowered even though i am still EIC. its hard...i guess..idk whats my problem! ughhh this is soo annoying. i have to keep thinking of ways to prove myself to the advisor, idk why I feel this wayy. ugh.</p>

<p>confidence will come with time, when ur doing something you love/know a lot about.</p>

<p>but u are in a leadership position, so you need to learn to be a leader, that's what your job is about. putting your nose to the grindstone is great, but that doesnt make you an awesome EIC. you could just be another person that works hard.</p>

<p>there is good news, bc the more you put urself in leadership positions, the sooner confidence will come to you. i used to be so shy, but after years of doing something i loved, i eventually became confident enought to take charge. maybe talk to the other EIC, and work out your ideas?</p>

<p>
[quote]
I had it when I played basketball sophomore year and it really brought me down... i can still say that I am not the most confident guy, but am much improved since then.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Ha ha me too! I went from being the superstar at a small school to being 6th man at a decent school. Really humbles you lol</p>

<p>I agree with cutieflutie08. Not many people are born natural leaders, and it takes a while to develop good leadership skills. You'll be fine and if it's something you love, keep at it.</p>

<p>you have to ask yourself: what is the point of criticizing yourself... when has degrading or putting yourself down ever helped you in anything? I mean, really... if the answer is that it doesn't help.... then you need to weed it out as much as possible. when you catch yourself starting to criticize yourself, stop in your tracks and maybe think of the positive alternative to what u were thinking. You will get better and better at stopping until you see how much you have progressed with this lifestyle and never look back.</p>

<p>You just have to accept that fact that you can't always be #1 at every single subject. It happens, you'll get over it as you move on.</p>

<p>I had this feeling for the first 2 hours while I was on this website, it was like I was exposed to a new world that I've never seen/heard/experienced before in entirety; academics, colleges, studying, EC's, etc. Then I was like, "Oh, okay, people like this exist." </p>

<p>That "other talented guy", I'm sure you have a lot of other merits that outweigh his ones. He might be more outspoken, more of a leader, but you might be better at writing, etc.</p>

<p>More of a reason for you to try step up. </p>

<p>I can relate in that when working on group projects I've often found myself taking a backseat role shortly after being overshadowed by another person. The truth is the world is a place that welcomes intiative and those that do not take it are simply left behind. When I simply stop trying to participate, ppl in the group i was working with tended to unintentionally disregard me over time. I disliked how I was the type of person that had to repeat things or speak louder than my peers just to get them to notice what I was trying to say. Needless to say I was definitely discouraged. Time indeed took its toll on me and I often felt that ppl became accustomed to others leading + coordinating instead of me and wouldn't really expect me to do/say much. I regret not being more firm.</p>

<p>Look at the situation in a more positive light. Sure this guy may be more outgoing than you, but look at your strengths before determining that this guy is just better overall and that you are no match for him. I am confident that you can find an area where you are better=]</p>

<p>Work on your strengths. Is it helping others come up w/ topics to research + write on? Is it coordinating w/ others on deadlines, what to photograph, etc? Perhaps take the time to talk to this other "talented person" about how you want more input and would appreciate him to let you have more say during meetings. You can even take this time to learn from this person and ready yourself outside of high school.</p>

<p>It's fine to be the quiet one, but your job is not just to be a good journalist. You're a leader. Let the other guy take care of what he does best: communicating. But don't let him absorb your leadership role as well. It's important to contribute to group meetings as a leader, so if you have an idea or disagree with something he says, it's your responsibility to speak up.</p>