Dickinson college transfer essay

<p>Hello guys, please read my essay and leave any suggestions, comments or impressions. </p>

<pre><code> Although doing my first year of undergraduate from NTIC in England has broaden my horizons through cultural diversity and better standard of education than home, I always felt something was amiss. Living so far-off from home and spending well over what my family was comfortable with, I was not able to achieve as much from my time in England as anticipated. In my second semester, I instigated addressing the discontent I was feeling, and found out the explanations to be that I was not being fully stretched by the lecturers and academic curriculum, the erratic nature of the British weather as compared to that at home, the economics department of my college was not one of its best and majoring from there did not seem to be an attractive selection, and financial burden of the tuition fees without any financial aid or scholarship from my college. Having felt the need for complete change, I conducted a long search of colleges in the United States and concluded that Dickinson College is the best match for my interests.What I am seeking in a college is that it should be prestigious enough for me to feel honored to be a part of it; it should have a student body size which makes me feel neither secluded nor congested, and allows a meaningful teacher and student interaction; be located in a city which does not provide too many distractions for students, but still fulfills the everyday requirements; offers financial assistance to deserving students regardless of their nationality. Fortunately, Dickinson has all these characteristics. Furthermore, Economics department at Dickinson is one of the most acclaimed amongst all liberal arts colleges and has all the resources to satisfy my appetite for the subject. Moreover, Dickinson is an outstanding example of a college that endorses diversity by selecting its students from different cultures, races and financial backgrounds, therefore creating a superior educational environment. My fascination with economics arises from its ability to act as a bridge between human psychology and economic world. A degree in economics from Dickinson will put me in right direction to achieve my lifelong ambition of ameliorating the economy of my country. Hopefully, after admission, I will be able to benefit from the exceptional enlightening opportunities offered at Dickinson and contribute to the diversity, prestige and extracurricular activities of the college.
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<p>I have been told that the last paragraph needs some improvement, although I don't know what to do it. </p>

<p>Thanks alot in advance!</p>

<p>46 views and no reply - come on guys! English is not even my 1st language. I NEED HELP PLEASE!<br>
BTW sorry for forgetting to give space between paragraphs!</p>

<p>Bump…</p>

<p>It’s not a great idea to post an essay on a public forum that anyone can see. You could ask for essay help and communicate via PM.</p>

<p>No sure the argument that the weather in PA is going to be a vast improvement over England is valid.</p>

<p>If you’re going to say, “I was not being fully stretched by the lecturers and academic curriculum”, then your transcript should reflect this with a 4.0 or something very close.</p>

<p>You might not want to say so bluntly that you’re looking for prestige & money.</p>