<p>Just curious as we're a long way off from making that kind of decision, but ds1 said today that, based on a local school's cool brochure he just received in the mail, he thinks he might like more information about the place. Even he admitted that he "didn't know why" he'd like to apply there other than the cool brochure. It's known as a party school, not academically challenging, and I just did a quick look at the website's stats. Ds score higher on his seventh-grade SATs than the cutoff for those in the 2nd quartile of their senior class.</p>
<p>Did anybody exercise the parental prerogative when it came to applying to a school you didn't think was a good fit?</p>
<p>We didn't run into that problem - more of me pushing son to apply to a school he really wasn't interested in, but it was a financial and academic safety.</p>
<p>I'd let your DS look at the undesirable school, along with many others that you both may agree look like a good fit for him. Once he sees what other schools have to offer, the undesirable school may look less desirable. If he still wants to apply there, ask him if he can tell you what it is that appeals to him about it. There may be a positive you haven't thought of, or he may have misinformation about that school or about other schools ("Well yes, Icky School offers XYZ program, but Nicer School does as well.")</p>
<p>Well D is very interested in a school that is not only expensive & not as diverse I hear as she thinks it is but it is in a city that I am not thrilled about, and more academic than her record.
We haven't visited and she ended up not applying- but I didn't actively discourage her either. I merely suggested some things that I had heard and encouraged her to broaden her search.
I wouldn't actively discourage from her from applying anywhere- I don't think it is my place- I am not going to be the one attending.</p>
<p>I know some Duke parents who said they wouldn't pay for UNC. They told their kid...why bother looking?<br>
For our s, there were a couple of schools that I wasn't crazy about. I tried to use some mild influence to move him in another direction (too pushy and he goes the other way). Worked OK. In the end, the school we liked best was not the one he chose. His decision. But he's happy so that's good.</p>
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I wouldn't actively discourage from her from applying anywhere- I don't think it is my place- I am not going to be the one attending.
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<p>I agree, but with one very significant caveat. </p>
<p>If there are financial limitations on your child's choice of school (i.e., they can't afford it without financial aid or merit scholarships), I think the parent owes it to the child to let them know early (before 9th grade) so the student has every opportunity to make the grades to get merit scholarships and focus on schools that are within the limitations in the selection and application process.</p>
<p>We discussed the financial limitations ahead of time. One of his reach schools is (I think) an unrealistic reach, but I didn't discourage him.</p>
<p>On the school rivalry theme: My husband, a Missouri alum, would have been heartbroken if he had applied to Kansas, but I guess he could have lived with it!</p>
<p>^Same here...neither of my parents are almuni, but a lot of my favorite teachers are and we're definitely a UCLA household. I never even considered it. Haha.</p>
<p>My dad (a Southern military institute alum) told me I couldn't go to West Point. But then again, we laughed uncontrollably for the following two minutes, because both of us know I would never even consider military schools. I can't even do 5 pushups and I throw like a little girl.</p>
<p>My mom and dad are both retired Navy officers, so similar to Zamzam, my mom told me in no uncertain terms that there was no way I was applying to West Point. Also like Zamzam, there was no way I was applying anyway.</p>
<p>To answer the question - no, I didn't discourage my kids from applying anywhere. I tried to encourage them to apply to more places since they had very high stats but they were only interested in California. I didn't mind.</p>
<p>However, if I felt my kid wanted to go to a place that was significantly less selective than other places they were accepted and if they didn't have a strong reason to want to attend there (specific major, etc.), then I'm sure I'd try to encourage them to more strongly consider the more selective places and I'd educate them on certain points like how the different colleges are viewed by employers, on-campus recruiting, etc. If my kid wanted to attend a much lower level college that would cost me MORE than a much higher level college, then I might make a stronger decision.</p>
<p>I told DD she had to have a good, solid REASON to apply to a particular school. And it couldn't be because it "sounds cool." It forced D to ask herself what she wanted, and why, and to research schools thoroughly.</p>
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I know some Duke parents who said they wouldn't pay for UNC. They told their kid...why bother looking?
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<p>How funny. I know some very well-qualified students who refused to even look at Duke. I know teachers who, when their top kids talked of going to Duke, they tried to talk them out of it. So, I guess it ends up being a wash in the end. ;)</p>
<p>OP, my DH put his foot down over UOP because of Stockton. But they weren't considering it beyond the early stages anyway. My DDs have crossed Santa Clara and Gonzaga off of their lists because Saint Mary's is so close to the top.</p>
<p>regarding the rest of your post, and very much depending on your D, I would stay away from saying anything negative at this point. If she is like one of mine, the more you criticize the more intriqued she would become. Not neccessarily intending to go there, but just to show that it was her decision and maybe to rebel a little. She'll figure it out. </p>
<p>Instead you could ask her in an independent conversation how she feels about attending school with kids who are at her level scholasticly. Once she has an opinion about that, she is more likely to pass on the sort of school where she would be sitting in class thinking "Jeepers, how did these kids get out of high school much less into college."</p>
<p>D's safety choice of University of Colorado is not sitting well at all, not that there is anything wrong with the school, my D's theory was show up for exams and Snowboard, not on my dime!</p>