Yeah. The anecdote above is why I plan to have the same X amount for both kids for HS/college/grad school/trade school/art school/investing/whatever.
I’ll have veto power, but they can’t complain if they ultimately make their choices.
I remember well my parents talking about my grandmother complaining bitterly (into her 90’s) that her elder sister got to finish grade school while she was pulled out of school after their dad was killed (so remained illiterate her entire life).
My parents paid for me to go to architectural school. DH did a PhD program which was funded by the University. I wouldn’t pay for my older son if he ever decided to go back to school because he’s got more money in his bank account than we do. Younger son I might, but given his profession - I think the Navy might pay for more education.
Nope, paid for undergrad, but both kidlets knew grad/professional school was on them. They both majored in STEM fields and would have been able to attend funded grad programs, but they decided to pursue med school instead. I helped out by paying their rent while they were in med school. Scholarships & loans paid for med school.
Dh earned is PhD (STEM field) by working as RA/TA. I earned my MA in a humanities field by working as TA. When, decades later, I went back to school to earn my MLIS, I paid for that myself.
I got a fellowship for grad school that covered tuition and living expenses. I don’t think any of my kids will go to grad school, so it’s a moot point. If they do, they’re on their own.
Originally, I was a no. We simply aren’t that wealthy. And at some point, you have to let them be adults, which includes figuring out the finances.
But…both kids followed the money for undergrad, and there was some $ left in the 529s. Really, for the one currently in grad school and working on a professional degree (no fin aid–assitanceships/scholarships/fellowships etc. available) it’s a pittance compared to the OOP cost of tuition, but I am helping with grad school costs
We always planned to pay for undergrad for both and we have. D is starting a full time MBA program this fall but she has a fellowship which covers all of her tuition for both years so she won’t need any money from us. I’m hoping S can work out something like that someday or work for an employer who offers tuition assistance.
Honestly, we just can’t pay for grad school. We don’t have the income. We’ve been upfront with the kids and they totally get it.
The one exception I would make is if a kid got a deal like my son is contemplating by going to A school like Clark. If he did the leg work during undergrad and qualified for their 5th year, tuition free masters program, we would cover the room and board for that 5th year.
I was hoping this thread would be about merit/financial aid/stipends etc for grad school.
Ah well.
@OHMomof2, my daughter is in a fully funded program, as all her possibilities were, I think. But some schools (including the one she’s attending) offered larger stipends than others. She understands grad school funding better than I do. I was vastly relieved when she explained that she would not be taking out loans or paying out of pocket to attend grad school. She worked for two years between undergrad and grad school and is a saver, so not having extra money has been a bit of an adjustment.
My D is in a masters program -we are funding her living expenses and she is getting loans for the tuition.
We had saved for undergrad and she got a full tuition scholarship and kept it for all 4 years -so we are using what is left in her college fund.
Well, we are a reversal of the usual situation.
We were not able to pay for undergrad, except for money we had set aside for him before our financial reversal. S got a great FA package from Dartmouth and graduated with only about $14K in debt. His senior year, H finally got a real job in his field again. When S graduated, we paid off his student debt.
After a year abroad, he went to Columbia School of Journalism. They gave him no money. He applied for and was awarded a $25K scholarship for journalism students in Maine. He also had some money that his godfather had given him as a young child, that had grown to about $12K. We took a HELOC and paid for the rest of it, about $50K, because we were able to borrow at no more than 3% while a grad student loan was usurious, at least 8% IIRC. So we decided that we would be his bankers. He has been paying us, rather than a bank. We also bought him an inexpensive car so that he could have his first job. Part of his debt.
It helps that he is an only child, so we don’t have to worry about fairness. Yes, I could use the money to do things I want to do, but we look at it that we did for grad school what we would otherwise have done for undergrad. If we had not been willing/able to do this, he simply could not have gone to J school.
I told my son I would absolutely not pay for grad school unless he got into Harvard Business School. Its the only school I think would really add to his pay.
Not Wharton or Yale Law (or many others)? 
I don’t think we will help with grad school. We have 7 kids we want to get through undergrad debt free so adding grad school to the mix would be extremely difficult. If one of them wants to go to med school, we will probably help as much as we can. Or if one of them were going to do a 5 year program leading to the CPA exam or something similar, we’d try to help with that. But I don’t forsee helping with anything else.
We paid/are currently paying for grad school for both kids – feel fortunate we can do so. My S’s grad degree was necessary for him to work in his field (he is now self-supporting) and my D’s grad program we expect/hope will lead to an employable career. Both kids have seen some peers struggle financially and incur a good bit of student debt and are very appreciative.
Heh. I’m almost of the view that pretty much no law school is worth it at their absurd sticker prices these days (for 3 years!)
But it’s not like HBS is head and shoulders above all other b-schools in ROI. Stanford is on the same level, and then there is almost no drop off to Wharton/Booth/Sloan/CBS and almost no drop-off from there to Kellogg/Tuck/Haas/Fuqua/Yale SOM/Stern. Then almost no drop-off from there to the other 10 or so b-schools in the top 15.
Yes, we plan to pay for any graduate school. We see it as part of our role to pay for his education, and we want him to start out life debt-free. It will be more difficult for us by then, though, and it will probably involve using our home equity line of credit or other ways of financing, as our 529 and savings will be applied to his undergrad years.
No money for grad school… since for undergrad we paid for a private in an expensive city far from home. That said we did cosign for an elite Master’s program which daughter finished in 1 year; it enabled her to get into a very respected, fully funded PhD program, and she’s been paying off the loan faster than anticipated. In her case, it proved an OK decision.
Nope. paid for undergrad and told kids that grad is on them. One got into a fully-funded PhD program and the other took the professional school offer with the most merit money, eschewing a much higher-ranked school. (Balance was grad+ loans, on him.)
Two of my 3 children will likely end up in grad school – and as much as I would love to help pay for that, I don’t think we will be able to unless something dramatic happens in our life circumstances. Frankly, I will feel very lucky at this point if we can get them through their undergrad degrees debt-free – that’s goal #1.