Did you have this issue in your home?

<p>We live in Northern Florida which is very nice for us (now). We're in our 50's though. We notice a difference between the way we look at things and the way people who've never been away from here see things. They're raising the kids the same way. We find it limiting and want our kids to get out there and be around different viewpoints, cultures,etc. Its hard to explain but I don't want them turning out like I see some of their classmates' parents are now. There's too much out there for them that's interesting. We're also encouraging them to stay OOS after college....Sorry if I offend other Floridians but we feel pretty stongly about it.</p>

<p>Maybe it has to do with the size of the state. People here feel that its the whole country because you can drive for hours and still be here, so leaving is a bigger deal than if you left, say, Rhode Island.</p>

<p>I totally understand exactly what you mean. It's just interesting to me as someone who is over two hours away from a citiy that someone like you from a less isolatated part of the world would share the same sentiment. I'm good with students at our high school staying in state as long as they head at least three hours south. </p>

<p>Our GC office however seems to counsel most of our kids into the same three schools so kids who go away to those schools often feel like they took home with them. </p>

<p>One of my DDs criteria was that they would not be attending one of those colleges. I have even encouraged using one of them as a safety but they won't consider it</p>

<p>Yes, historymom, the public high school here sends 90% of the students to the Florida publics which is one reason why my kids don't go there. We wanted to make sure that there would be college guidance people with OOS experience, and connections which has been the case. Some of them are alums of the places we'd like our kids to consider. Otherwise, the kids all leave high school and go to college together, often rooming with them as well. I don't consider our mentality particularly "out of the box" but here it is.</p>

<p>Historymom- also in Ca. A friend of mine just had an apointment with a private college counselor. The issue of geography came up. Her twins want small liberal arts east coast. The Mom wants some schools in Ca on the list including some publics. The counselor said many Ca students want to go OOS but when the decisions come in most end up in Ca. She supports having some Ca schools on the list just in case. Many of the kids I know who want East have never been and don't go till acceptances come in.
I have a friend whose D's criteria was not in Ca and not a Claremont College. Guess where she ended up? And it is extremely happy and a good fit.
Alot can change between Nov and May 1. It is nice to keep all options open.</p>

<p>mom60 I totally agree. My girls do have 3 in state public schools on their lists, just not the ones "everyone" goes to. They also have 2 to 3 instate privates. It will be interesting to see how those lists change between now and application time and app time and decision time. </p>

<p>I have my favorites but I'm keeping my mouth shut. :0)</p>

<p>Let the kid go where he wants with the understanding that:</p>

<p>his/her degree should help them to become gainfully employed</p>

<p>You can't afford to fly him/her home often</p>

<p>often times people like to live near where they went to college </p>

<p>any piercings or tatoos mean that you will no longer fund their education</p>

<p>Hadn't caught up on this thread in awhile. Good points on escaping the larger states, such as Florida. I spent part of my life in California, and when visiting in the recent past, was taken once again with how California is a world apart. Not much reason to leave the state as it encompasses so much, and the rest of the country can be less of a known quality. I can see good reasons for experiencing another part of the country in college. Somehow the upper Midwest feels different, as we have numerous other states within a few hours drive, and reasons to go elsewhere for vacations and warmer weather, if not business. In my years here, seems there's always a trip on the horizon.</p>

<p>Our Son 1 was ready, ready to get far, far away and we were ready, ready for him to be far, far away. I will say Son 1 loved going away to camp when he was young and has never had any kind of separation anxiety. He's happy and at this point in freshman year anyway has no intention of coming back "in-state". He's even making noises about finding a summer job and an apartment and not coming home for the summer. My husband attended an in-state school and I at eighteen wanted nothing more than to get plenty of distance from my hometown. I'm sure I left skidmarks as I excellerated out the driveway. The only compromise was the $$, Son 1 was told we would only contribute an amount equal to full boat at our state U (U Mich as the benchmark, so not a cheap date even in-state) so he had enough money to play with and when the packages came in it all worked out and he left with both my husband's and my full support...my husband even sometimes says he wished he had explored options in other places. Distance was never a big argument in our family. Money was a strong consideration and came into play.</p>

<p>momofthreeboys:
You raise an interesting point that I had wondered about when this thread first started. How many parents who are hesitant to send/allow their offsrpring to go further away for college sent those same children to summer camp, specifically oos summer camps.</p>

<p>I suspect not too many. I think a lot of the anxiety and sadness on both sides is alleviated with the prior experiences of camps/exchanges. At least in our household, where every year since 1997, one or both boys have spent a minimum of 4 weeks at a location never less than 1000 miles away. The pain of separation for college was diminished by the realization that we had been there done this and survived.</p>

<p>I think that previous "away from home experience" does factor in. We sent our girls to camp anywhere from 120 to 625 miles away so they are quite willing to take on the adventure of going. I also know that that makes it easier for DH to consider our girls going to states that neighbor us. But I don't suspect he will ever be truly enthusiastic about them going further unless and until they go and love it. </p>

<p>I also know that his biggest fear is that they will meet some native of the state they go to school in, marry him and rarely come home ever again. Rationally he knows that's just silly as all worry is, but it's part of the job description. :0)</p>