<p>My D had a terrible orientation; her roomie didn’t show up until Day 4, which meant that during those crucial early days she was alone while everyone else was paired up, and that set the tone for the year. She did try to reach out for a while, but she’s shy and it was so difficult for her, walking up to strangers and trying to strike up conversations. She was convinced that everyone could see a big “L for loser” engraved on her forehead.</p>
<p>If I could go back in time, I’d try to prepare her better for the difficulties of starting a new social life from scratch. I’d tell her that, despite appearances, every freshman is lonely and scared. I’d tell her that no one can look into her soul and see that SHE is lonely and scared. I’d tell her to expect that making new acquaintances is awkward, and no one ever died from feeling awkward. I’d tell her that making good friends takes time, maybe alot of time, and a good dose of persistence. And I’d have tried to somehow loosen her ties to friends back home; she spent many a Saturday night skyping and facebooking with her old friends rather than getting out and finding her new people.</p>
<p>ETA: FindAPlace, I think that facebook, texting, IM-ing, all the instant real-time communication is a double-edged sword for homesick freshmen. It’s momentarily comforting to stay in touch with old friends, but at least for our D, it kept her firmly tied to the past. My DH is convinced that her adjustment ultimately would have been far easier if she hadn’t had that “out.”</p>