We have had the same experience.
Girls lacrosse happens quickly after Sept 1st of Junior year.
My kid was in the class of '21 and, with a couple of offers in hand, decided that he wanted to commit to a program within 2 weeks (mid August of his senior year). He sent an email to the programs he was still interested in, but had yet to make him an offer, and let them know his timing. He included both the “recruiting coach” and the head coach. He was surprised to see schools that he thought had ghosted him or he thought weren’t interested, immediately get back to him. In fact, he ended up committing to one of those schools.
The lessons from his story are, (1) continue to update schools, even if it seems like you are sending messages into the void, (2) don’t assume a school isn’t interested until they tell you so much, (3) schools go quiet for any number of reasons, including coach illness and departures, (4) appropriate contacts with more than one coach at a school leaves less to chance, and (5) don’t be afraid to let schools know your timing (it is the one thing that you can control).
I think some shake-out is not at all unusual. There was one school that the recruit emailed several times voicing interest and attaching film, with no response at all. Because there was such a long list, we barely noticed. The AC at this school left to become HC at another school and started recruiting for that new school. We weren’t all that interested in this new school. Then out of nowhere the HC of the first school invited the kid for an OV. I was surprised because usually there is some “grooming” that goes on before the OV, as in the coach sees you live or at least responds to an email. I guess this is what happens when there is no recruiting budget.
However, with D3: 1) some of the coaches are part-time; 2) they may only coach one season in a year and work elsewhere; 3) They may be in season (such as for soccer), and have way to much to do to focus on recruiting; 4) they may not know how to use email (not really kidding). The truth is that you just never know whether a coach is sending a message through silence or whether there are other reasons for not responding to emails…
That’s because most of the coaches have been watching the girls for a year or two (a lot of recruiting used to happen with sophomores and even freshmen before the rule change), and because the coaches have more time in the fall since it is a spring sport.