Greetings, everyone. I’d like to discuss a rather serious matter with you all today.
In 1998, my father was diagnosed with a lumbar spinal disorder. To my knowledge, and I don’t know why the information would be kept, it practically came out of nowhere. Although my father was born premature (8 months), he never faced any other major problems aside from dental issues as well (i.e major overbite and crowding which had to be corrected, although since we aren’t talking a tooth practically growing the wrong way, this isn’t “uncommon”).
Born in 2000, I’ve known my father all my life as someone unable to move. He needs help walking to the bathroom, he varies in his dependency on myself. I had to learn to cook because my mother works long hours. It’s put incredible strain on extended family, my mother, and myself. I’ve had to stay home from school, go in late, or leave early to assist with doctor’s appointments, help because he’s in a bout of massive pain. Although he’s better now than he ever was, it’s just been hard.
I don’t want to push this off as something which has eaten up my life, although I’ve never openly related to someone who had an issue like this, I do know that I do have a LIFE outside of caring for my disabled parent. I still have friends, I still play video games, I still do sports. That said, though, I’ve been restricted. I’ve had to have coaches and advisers accommodate for my tardiness since I’m not permitted to participate in activities which might otherwise take my time up every single day after school or the like; heavens forbid my father needs help. He relies on me as much as he relies on my mother.
I just want to know- should I mention this? In my college application, should I at all point out my father’s disability? Or, might it hinder my chances? Could they see it that I’m just looking for a hand out and for sympathy?
Your application should be about you, not your father. If you mention your father’s disability, ti should be in the context of how it has impacted your life, your personal growth, your outlook etc.
As an aside (I know you asked about ECs elsewhere) If you are the primary caretaker for your father on a regular basis, you can include it on your activities.
I would definitely put it in my EC section, so you can show how much time you have devoted to taking care of your father. There’s a question in my mind whether you should have your GC mention it too, or whether you should mention it in an essay. You want to be careful that your application brings out all different aspects of who you are; you don’t want to appear to be one-dimensional, so you have to be careful that your application doesn’t ONLY talk about this issue. I could envision your GC mentioning it if you did poorly in a particular class (for example, if you don’t have a rotating schedule and were always late for your first morning class due to care taking responsibilities, and you didn’t do well in that class). With regard to your essay, @happy1 is correct that your essay needs to be about YOU. I can imagine, however, that your care taking has hugely impacted who you are as a person, so I can image you mentioning this briefly in an essay as a backdrop to your describing a personal growth moment, or explaining why you want to major in something, or in highlighting one of your characteristics. Again, be really careful that your application shows many aspects of who you are, and doesn’t just talk about this.
I would ask my guidance counselor to include the info in her letter of recommendation. That way the schools will know your background without it looking like you’re milking your dads disability.
@melvin123@bjkmom Thank you, you’ve both given wonderful suggestions. Really. Being a caretaker for my father has had a great affect on who I am today. My highschool GPA has remained at an unweighted 3.8-.9 scale as well, so I’m focusing now on getting good scores on the AP exams, ACT, and SAT/II studying. I was definitely planning on having my Guidance Councilor mention it as well, although I was curious whether or not I should mention it alongside the letter itself. As @bjkmom has pointed out, I don’t want to look like I’m milking this. Like hell I do. But when I’m talking about who I am, I imagine it would be bound to come up.
@happy1 Also an awesome recommendation, thank you. I had no idea if that was something I’d put in my ECs. I thought ECs were school-mandated/controlled, no?
Thank you both immensely, and thank you potential future members of this thread.
@DoctorShrinker ECs are not just school activities. From the common app…Please list your principal extracurricular, community, volunteer and family activities and hobbies in the order of their interest to you. Include specific events and/or major accomplishments such as musical instrument played, varsity letters earned, etc. … This fits within “family activities”.
I would include in your ECs. Some people have after school jobs, play school sports every day after school, and you have a commitment to help family. That shows a lot.
