Discouraged Freshman

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hello, I am a college freshman at a small liberal arts school, and I am wrapping up my first week of classes following a throughly exhausted orientation week. I know it’s only the second week, but I am feeling a little discouraged by the experience so far.

I feel thoroughly homesick, which I know is common, but all the other freshman I meet seem to be having the time of their lives. I have made some friends, but I don’t click with them the way I do my friends from home.

There are of course parties every weekend, which I am not against and was actually a little excited for, but they all happen at frat houses away from campus, and I would have to depend on frat designated drivers to get me to and from campus. Also, I just found out my school has some freakishly high sexual assault reports, and almost all of these happen at these parties. Am I crazy for being freaked out by this? I don’t want to depend on strangers to transport me to and from campus, especially while intoxicated, but it doesn’t seem to bother most other people, though I have found some friends who feel the same way.

Also, at first I was incredibly excited for my classes, but today I was sitting in a civics class and I realized I felt like I was listening to people who more wanted to listen to themselves talk rather than listening to people who cared about fixing the political system. I began to wonder if it was fruitless to be attending class to discuss what was wrong with the world yet not discuss action, and it worried me. I have never felt so disillusioned by school and learning, but now I’m questioning the legitimacy of my chosen education. I’m wondering if these classes, though they have good intentions, actually have any positive effect. Will these philosophic teachings actually help me make the world a better place? And more than anything else I feel guilty that my parents are paying an ungodly amount of money for me to be attending overpriced classes with overpriced books while I feel like I might be wasting my time and not doing anything to improve the world. I have always loved learning, but I’m wondering if this is the right place for me.

I’m not sure what my question is here, but I guess I just want someone to give me some advice on how I’m feeling. I will obviously give it more time, but are my hesitations legitimate? I don’t want to be overly angsty, and I know it’s natural to be scared and nervous during your first year of college, but I’m worried.

Also-sorry if this isn’t the right thread on here for this, but I wasn’t sure where else to post this.

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Hi! I remember my first attempt at college, it was rough, I was not in a good state of mind and was very unsure about the choices I’ve made. Your hesitations are legit. I eventually dropped out of my school about 2 months in. I was a Photography major which was more of something I just did because people told me I was good at it. I dropped out, and went to community college for the fall 2015 semester, now this semester I’m back in university as a communications major, but I am most likely going to switch.
It’s normal to be unsure and to be hesitant and if you decide you want to change things or you change your mind about the school/major you picked, it’s not the end of the world, you can always transfer out and find some place that makes you happy.
As far as friends go, join clubs, get involved. My first try at college all I did was sit in my dorm by myself, I joined one club and that was what I looked forward to every week because that’s where my friends that clicked were. Now I went to three club meetings and I made friends because of it. Interact with people, if you see someone sitting by themselves don’t be afraid to talk to them.
The feelings you have are normal, so don’t sweat it. Don’t be in a rush either, do what makes you happy, it’s your time to explore now.
I hope this helps. :^)

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  1. Homesickness and feeling like everyone else is having the time of their lives is common. Everyone seems to be having the best time in the world because nobody is going to be the first to admit that they're terrified and miss home and are questioning the decision to go to college. Trust me, the people smiling in their instagram pictures during the day are probably second-guessing their decisions and homesickness at night.
  2. I would be slightly hesitant, too, to trust a designated frat brother driver to take me to and from his party. Is there a bus? An uber? Another way of getting there? If not, definitely don't get in a car by yourself. Always go to parties with friends. Sexual assault is common on college campuses, and it's definitely scary, but common sense is your best friend. Stick with your friends (always), don't walk home alone, don't drink too much, keep alert while still having a good time. Of course, I'm not saying that not following these rules warrants sexual assault and would make you at fault; I've broken each of them at least once. But again, stick to your common sense and instincts.
  3. Every class has the one kid who just loves to hear himself talk. Freshman year there seems to always be dozens of these kids. Some of them quiet down and realize it doesn't matter how loudly they talk or how many buzzwords they can pull out of a hat, but some never really lose that charm. I was terrified my first semester to hear these kids talk. I felt like I had made a huge mistake and was way too stupid to be here. These were supposed to be my peers but I couldn't follow what they were saying half the time. But know that they don't truly know how to fix the political system, and neither do you. But you're there to learn and think critically, and eventually you'll be able to ignore the people who just like hearing themselves talk. Once you tune them out, you'll be able to focus on your own learning and your own ability to have intellectual discussions. You aren't going to make the world a better place instantly by sitting in a classroom, but these lectures will give you the tools so that you can try to help the world later on.
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Why don’t you try getting involved in some campus and community organizations that are doing work to better the world? Every campus has a Community Service office. It’s an election year- you can volunteer to work on political campaigns for candidates who you support. Check to see if your school has an Alternative Spring Break Program where you can volunteer over spring break in an impoverished area or an area hit by natural disaster. What programs are in your community? Agencies are always looking for volunteers- anything from walking dogs at a shelter, collecting and distributing food at a food bank, doing clerical work for a victims advocate group or legal aid. Find something that makes you feel useful!

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It’s college. Welcome to the world of “sitting in discussion/seminar classes in which you listen to other students blab on forever about their off the wall ideas on things they know very little about.”

However, there is a very valuable reason that you should continue going to your Civics class - so you can listen to ideas that might be very different from yours. So you can see a problem or situation from a very different point of view. So you can ask questions.

EVERY class like that has at least ONE student who likes to hear the sound of his/her own voice. After you’re done with this Civics class, for the rest of your life, you’ll be able to spot these people from a mile off…some individuals really don’t want to have a debate/discussion. They just like to talk AT you (or the professor) rather than talk WITH you.

BUT that doesn’t mean that your point of view is not valuable. And I hate to say it, but not every single class you take in college is going to help you change the world. But getting through classes like this is a character-building experience.

For example, as part of my general ed requirements in college, I took an upper division Shakespeare class in the English department. The professor was great and I loved the class. But there was a 1-hr discussion section once a week with a grad student TA that we had to attend as well and the TA was a pompous butthead. For the entire term, we all had to listen to him say “Ergo” every other sentence. After a couple of weeks, you could have played Office Bingo with the TA’s favorite buzz words.

Did me taking Shakespeare or Human Geography or History of Latin America give me special skills to radically change the world? No. But I got a more well rounded education out of it as a result and it helped me realize that there are different points of view other than my own and THAT has been very valuable in my career.

So hang in there. It’s only the first week. Don’t throw in the towel just yet. If you don’t want to go to frat parties, then don’t. Or make arrangements with friends ahead of time to get rides together back to the dorms. Use the buddy system so you’re not in some strange guy’s car all by yourself late at night.