Dismissed short into first semester advice please

Parents Forum
21

<p>To Op, er student, your story could’ve been me 30 years ago.</p>

<p>My impression is that you had lots of fun with your new independence, attended some classes but didn’t do much reading or assignments because there seemed like there was so much time available, then stopped going to class altogether, and now are in a panic that you can’t catch up, so this panic is causing you to procrastinate, paralyzing you with fear, and thus you are not able to do any work to fix it. Don’t worry you can fix it. Your grades might not be the level that they were in high school, but it’s better to try to catch up on 3 weeks of work and get thru with Bs or Cs or Ds rather than dropping out of college. (You also might drop 1 class.) </p>

<p>When I started college eons ago, I went from HS honor student (never studying) to a total slacker in college (never studying), never attending classes or discussion sessions, only showing up for midterms and finals and immersing myself in the social scene. My first quarter GPA was 1.9. I continued this pattern thruout college (UCLA), graduated (GPA was below 3.0), got a job, and actually am a physician now (more maturity, postbacc GPA 4.0). I too had ADHD, unmedicated. </p>

<p>Really, it’s better to suck it up, catch up, take the lower grades as your “punishment,” and learn from your mistakes than it would be to drop out of college just because you think it’s harder than high school or because no parent is bugging you every night to get your studying done. Also, don’t forget to take your meds. And read “How to be a straight A student” by Cal Newport who can show you how to study efficiently rather than spinning your wheels.</p>

<p>Lastly, if you drop out now, your mom will unlikely get her tuition money back for the first semester, so you are just throwing away her money. If you really don’t want to attend college at all until you get more mature, or if you want to attend a school closer to home so that you can commute and have your mom for support, then that would be a different thing, and then it would be worth dropping out for that.</p>

22

<p>If this story is for real - bring him home. He’s flat not ready. He needs to get a job. He needs to adopt a structure that works for him. Consider a life coach. If he was on meds, it is possible he quit taking them. Just a note - ADHD kids that SHOULD be medicated and are not are impulsive. That means they make REALLY poor decisions. Some of these decisions can have far worse consequences than flunking out of school. Think JAIL and a criminal history that doesn’t go away.</p>

<p>Help him get stable and get for real about his issues and his level of maturity. He’s not ready for prime time.</p>

23

<p>Tell him you won’t pay for anything related to college until at least Fall of next year, he will be responsible for a specific amount of funding, he will not return to that college until at least one year at another one, he will not live at home until then without holding a full-time job, and you will no longer hover.
If he fails all that, he can live on his own working at a fast food restaurant until he grows up and later thanks you for the hard lesson.</p>

24

<p>Just a note - not everyone with ADHD has the “H” component. There are those who have real problems with attention and organization but are not hyperactive or impulsive.</p>

25

<p>I know some kids that were booted out of the school I attended 2 weeks into freshman year, it’s not unheard of. They were just a little too much into the party scene and caused some problems and the school say “see ya”.</p>

<p>OP, if your son isn’t mature enough to be in college, I think they did the best thing for him. Give him a deadline to find a full time job and move on from there. He should be able to find something fairly easily now-retail probably.</p>

26

<p>On another thread, OP says the kid dropped out before failing out or being dismissed. Changes the picture, to me. </p>

<p>Imo, booted out two weeks into school would need serious disciplinary issues, some record.</p>

27

<p>It sounds like he is depressed . I would find a good therapist who works with teens and have him enroll at the local community college while he figures all of this out</p>

28

<p>Momofsamiam, this thread has already celebrated its first birthday and is looking forward to its second. Whatever happened to this kid happened over a year and a half ago.</p>

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<p>Please use old threads for research only. Closing.</p>