Dissapointing Start at College...

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I wanted to know if anyone can offer up any advice to me. I have been in college for about 2 weeks now and have been fairly dissapointed. You have no clue HOW excited I was to come to UConn. I got here, and was just like....what's so great about UConn? (or college in general). I know some of the responses I'll be getting, so I'll reply to them beforehand....</p>

<p>"Take advantage of all the partying!!!!"</p>

<p>-Partying is nothing new to me, and I've been taking it easy on the carbs lately.</p>

<p>"The freedom in college is fantastic"</p>

<p>-My parents have always had a loose leesh (sp?) on me, so being able to do WHAT I want WHEN I want is nothing special to me.</p>

<p>"You meet so many people!"</p>

<p>Yes, you do....but only a handfull remain as close friends.</p>

<p>I dunno, is there something I'm missing out on? For some reason things just haven't been AWESOME like I expected it to be. I'm guessing that some of it has to do with the fact that I haven't hooked up with any girls here yet, but I don't know.</p>

<p>Overall I'm just confused with myself. I'm trying to find a way to pin this all on UConn as opposed to myself, but I just don't see how things would be different if I were attending a different university. Overall things have been "OK" when I expected like to just be amazing. I'm guessing it could be the "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" effect. Maybe when I don't have school for a week in november I'll start to realize what's great about college.</p>

<p>And no, I'm not homesick and I don't do drugs. I've just been ****ed off in general, and I'm starting to convince myself that I might be depressed for who the hell knows what reason. Even the fact that I won the lottery for UConn basketball season tickets hasn't cheered me up. I'm not one of those freaks who gets depressed for no reason and likes to let the whole world know...so save your deragatory comments for a different thread. </p>

<p>So yeah, any advice would be truly appreciated.</p>

2

<p>I am in the same boat. I was always a shy person, and survived in high school because I had such close friends since I was very young - I didn't need to be social. </p>

<p>When I got to college, however... that wasn't going to work. I mustered courage and walked into peoples' rooms and said hi, sat with random single people in the cafeteria... all that stuff. However, much as you have found... I found no one that I would consider asking to hang out that night or something. I was getting depressed, sitting in my room and playing Halo 2 most of welcome week. Then I waited for classes, thinking they were the key to social groups. Nope. Didn't happen. I even tried to go out to frats by myself, only to be humiliated and put on the "waiting list" for what seemed like thirty minutes while girls in short skirts got in right away. Then one day, I did my routine of asking a random single person at the cafeteria if they'd mind if I sat with them. They said sure, and we talked. After a while, we both were from out of state at a large university, and knew no one. Now we hang out all the time and get wasted and watch football and all that jazz.</p>

<p>Just don't give up, you'll find friends. I hate metaphors, but it really is like the jackhammer guy who drills at concrete a thousand times with no effect... then the thousandth time the concrete breaks. In my case, I just kept being friendly and the cards fell my way.</p>

<p>I know it feels like everyone else has huge groups and you're like "how did that happen?". Just relax and be consistent.</p>

3

<p>Well, what was it about UCONN that made you really excited??? Sometimes reflecting back on your decision helps you figure out why you're there, not just college in general. I was excited to leave my house for more reasons than just the things you've listed- I had already experienced lots of freedom in my house (and going away to programs), wasn't a huge partier.... but I did meet a lot of people at my school but was definitely disappointed htat only handful become your real friends. After finding out what it was like to live in college after a couple weeks, I began wondering what was the WHOLE point of going?</p>

<p>Tried to consider taking a semester off to do something crazy or real time off to do Peace Corps... then I started talking to people. They asked exactly why I came to Smith. So I had to reflect on my decision process from like 6-8 months before. I listed things such as "all-women classes will empower me," "cute little town," "house communities," and et cetera. Some of the things on my list remained true to heart at Smith and others didn't seem to exist.</p>

<p>Even though exploring myself this way lead me to transferring out of Smith, I still refer to my list of why I wanted to attend Colgate specifically whenever I feel... blah (rare moments though). In general, the points that you have made about why UConn will reassure you that you're no idiot and keep you focused on why you LOVE UConn and therefore will make you much more positive in thinking as you life your live there.</p>

4

<p>I've had a disappointing start. I'm in my third week. Classes are a lot easier than I thought they would be. I don't click with anyone. I've had pretty much the same experience as UConn. I feel sometimes that maybe I should widen my interests or drink or go to a frat party, that is, not be me and compromise my beliefs, but I don't in the end.</p>

<p>I'll keep cracking or whatever and see what happens. If nothing breaks, it's going to be a long four years.</p>

5

<p>let me see....college foremost is about E D U C A T I O N- some people actually go to college to get one...imagine the thought!!</p>

<p>Think about what option you have beside boring old college:</p>

<p>Army
Volunteering some where
Work
Being a Bum</p>

<p>3 of those are by no means bad options, lots of people do them, so if you are not seeing fireworks all the time, well, welcome to the real world</p>

<p>Why did you want to go to college for anyway...to play?</p>

<p>you got too wound up in the beginning, and now see reallity of life, its not all fun and games...so let go of the dispappointment of it not being an amusement park....and think about the REAL reason people go to a university....</p>

6

<p>Oh I'm fully motivated and do all my work and studying, but college has far too much free time to not expect a very lively social life.</p>

7

<p>start attending random club meetings, volunteer somewhere, get a job- uconn offers so much in terms of student life, you cant possibly have already touched all areas....
and dude, if you're not excited about your bball tix, i'll happily take them off your hands ;)</p>

8

<p>I don't know if you're religious or not, but I've been happier at college since I joined a Bible study last week. I bonded instantly with the people there and suddenly have more people to talk to on campus than I did before. Chances are you'll meet very nice people if you go to a Bible study.</p>

<p>I also found out that most of those kids aren't partiers. I don't think any of the under 21s drink who are in the group, and I know none of them do drugs.</p>

<p>Also, if you're stressed at college, go and work out. Most of my college stress last semester came the day before or immediately after a test, and a good workout eased everything. The same can be said for social problems--and you just might happen to meet some people at the gym while you're there. Before I transferred I had a few workout buddies, we all liked to lift to blow our steam off.</p>

<p>And don't forget that you might not be satisifed with your first choice of college. Lots of people transfer. If you still feel this way in the middle of October check out some other places and see about transferring. I transferred to the school I'm at now after talking to a HS friend who goes there. (He should get a job in recruitment--I made up my mind that night).</p>

<p>If you do transfer and you have a close friend you stay in touch with (as I did) chances are you'll do better. My friend was there to point me around campus, plus I knew I had someone to hang out with there. Both of us are getting more involved this year too so it's nice that we're meeting some people...it just takes time, as we both found out.</p>

9

<p>I visited UConn a few months ago and LOVED it. This was the only problem. I knew i'd end up exactly like you. I knew i'd get sick of everything and as my mom put it 'turn into an alcoholic'. I'd say just try to remain positive and wait til bball starts :)</p>

10

<p>"Also, if you're stressed at college, go and work out. Most of my college stress last semester came the day before or immediately after a test, and a good workout eased everything. The same can be said for social problems--and you just might happen to meet some people at the gym while you're there. Before I transferred I had a few workout buddies, we all liked to lift to blow our steam off."</p>

<p>Yup, I lift 5 days a week with a buddy of mine and occasionally see people there I know.</p>

<p>"And don't forget that you might not be satisifed with your first choice of college. Lots of people transfer. If you still feel this way in the middle of October check out some other places and see about transferring. I transferred to the school I'm at now after talking to a HS friend who goes there. (He should get a job in recruitment--I made up my mind that night)."</p>

<p>That's the thing though. I'm not all too sure if I would be happier elsewhere. Maybe being somewhere like Los Angeles would be fun, but I'm not even sure. I have 1 transfer application filled out, but I don't want to have the mentality that "i'm getting out of here.." When it all comes down to it, I know something's wrong. I think it has to do with me not being satisfied with the group of friends I have right now, and I'm not convinced that switching schools would solve this problem considering things are probably rough at first for transfers. I really DO know alot of people here at UConn, I'm just not close with enough of them, or the right ones, I don't think.</p>

<p>Huskem...any idea where I can go to find out about clubs and stuff? I was too busy to attend the activity fair at the Student Union last week.</p>

<p>I also plan on joining an intramural bball team.</p>

11

<p>im sure there will be tons of posters/flyers advertising stuff at the student union. i think there is also a massive list of clubs on the student life webpage.</p>

12

<p>There are signs all over, just look, in the chem building etc. I felt the same way as you last year in the beginning. You get over it and meet new people. You've only been here 3 weeks give it time, you still don't know everything about it and haven't seen everything. You will get closer to people as time goes on, and you will probably like it a whole heck of a lot more after you go to your first basketball game.</p>

13

<p>i went through the same exact thing last year. At first, no one seemed as cool as the people I knew from home. Eventually though I found a few people I "deemed worthy of being my friend" and they introduced me to their friends, etc. Also, joining a fraternity has really made college more fun. With UConn, wait untill bball season. As a guy who goes to UConn, as long as you don't despise bball with the fire of 1000 suns, you should have a lot of fun, and will probably meet people through the games.</p>

<p>Don't worry too much, I think it took about a month for me to start to enjoy college.</p>

14

<p>Maybe a bit of buyers remorse?</p>

<p>Sometimes the reward doesn't have the same thrill of the journey. It works that way with girls too. </p>

<p>First thing to understand is your entertainment is your responsibility, not the school's or anybody elses. Usually there are tons of things to do around campus. Make a point to sample at least four different programs this semester, stretch yourself.</p>

15

<p>:| It's only been 2 weeks. That was my first thought. </p>

<p>I skimmed through most of the posts, but I wonder-- how are your classes? </p>

<p>Me? I'm EXCITED about my classes. I love them. I am totally in my field and I like my professors and classmates. Ok, I'm not excited about homework, but sitting in a class and getting your brain ODed on this new knowledge (which happens all the time now) is exactly one of the things I wanted out of college.
It's different from high school where I just went through the motions, the requirements. </p>

<p>And I think it is totally okay that you aren't close with the "right" friends. It is, again 2 weeks later, and you could not have possible met everyone or have had the time to really forge a bond with people. </p>

<p>If you're not trying out new clubs, sports, etc.. just chill with some friends. I've spent hours at the cafe talking with friends or just doing nothing on the lawn with them. You get to know people much more and you build memories. </p>

<p>:] You'll be fine.</p>

16

<p>Yeah, I really do like my classes. I like all my professors so far, and I feel like I'm learning alot. I really haven't learned anything for the past 2 years since for 11th and 12th grade I want to a terrible high school.</p>

<p>Bonding with all those people would definitely be a good idea, but I hate when I feel like I'M always the outgoing one trying to plan things out. Because then it kinda makes you wonder whether or not that person really wants to be friends with you.</p>

17

<p>I completely understand your feeling as for first few weeks, I hardly find anyone to talk with or a potential long term friend. However, do keep in mind that you DON'T make frds for the purpose of making frds. Understood? that is...you go to college for work , well mainly. But there are many ways to make good frds, frds who share similar values or interests, and u don't have to even noticeably spend energy to do that. A few clubs can get you know many people. Or sometimes try to join a group study and make academic frds. You don't have to go to wild parties for making frds. Do you think u will go to those party animals when u need help in the future? well..think about all these and make valuable frds who is willing to help you and to get help from you. It's the quality that matters, not the quantity.</p>