Can anybody share how their college’s distance from home impacted their experience? Whether or not you were right down the street or a plane ride away, is there anything you regret about your decision and do you have any advice for people deciding between schools that are close to home and others far from it. Also if you are going somewhere far it would be helpful if you detailed your transportation to your school and what those costs are for you.
I started a thread earlier about this that you might find useful:
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/2046887-how-far-away-did-your-kids-go-to-college.html#latest
One thing that stands out to me is ease of travel. When I posted, we were looking at a school that was a direct flight, but then a 2 hour bus ride or carpool from the airport which is annoying. One of the schools DD has looked at since then was 9 hours by car as well as 9 hours by plane if you count the travel to/from airport, waiting at airport, layover, and actual flight time. Not convenient at all. About two weeks after we visited she stated she wanted to be closer to home. Now this summer, she is working 3 hours away and I think she may have solidified the thought she would like to be able to come home on a weekend now and then at college.
I went to school about 45 minutes from home. Never went home.
DD#1 is about 2.5 hours away by car (very easy). Sometimes she comes home a lot, other times not at all.
DD#2 was a 4 hour flight and 45-1 hour from the airports on either end. What I really wished was that she was closer so I could see her play her sport. I usually went for spring break and this year I went 3 times but NOT for graduation (her choice).
Closer is easier.
I grew up in the New England area and went to school in Virginia. It was still rather convenient because there was a bus and a train station within 5 minutes walking distance from my college. I usually took the bus home, which was about 50 dollars round trip. I am not particularly close with my family, so I didn’t mind going to college a bit farther away. It meant I often stayed at college during the shorter breaks and participated in alternative break trips, which is fine by me they were definitely rewarding. For some of the summers, I didn’t move all my stuff back and kept it in a storage unit close to the college. I really only got driven down during moving in and moving out of things in the dorm, the rest of the time I took the bus home. It also meant I met a whole new set of friends and learned about experiences from a different part of the country, so I have friends close and far from home.
It is all based on personal preference and your individual habits, but I would say pick a school based on fit and then the distance from home is kind of an afterthought.
two hours drive. No car. No money. We posted on index cards(I’m sure now all online) looking for rides home. Usually people going that general direction. Usually got dropped off at the highway exit ramp and hoofed it to a friends house and got a ride the rest of the way. I wasn’t fun in the rain.
Good to know you could get home but never did in reality. I think it was good and forced you to expand your friends outside of the high school group still living in hometown.
Assuming funds aren’t an issue, do not be afraid to be a plane ride away. While you’re at school you will be too busy and too occupied with more important things such as friends, studying, social life, clubs/orgs etc. to worry about home.
DD is a 2 1/2 hour direct flight away from home. The school is a 10 minute Uber ride from the airport (large international airport). Our home is about a 40 minute drive from either of 2 airports she can fly into.
For other people hearing where she was going to school, the location seemed to be a HUGE issue. “So far away!” “Don’t you want her closer to home?” “Why is she going THERE?” and “Wow, really?” were common responses to hearing that my NY girl was going to school in MN. Meanwhile those same people have to drive 6+ hours each way, often in holiday traffic, to bring their “closer” children to and from school on breaks (or the kids drive themselves - in horrendous upstate NY winter weather, no less).
So unless there is a compelling reason to be close to home, I don’t think it matters as much as ease of travel! Of course air travel is an added expense, so one must factor that in! Move-in and pack-up are a little more challenging, too, as we can’t just load up a car and go, but it’s doable!
Depends on the kid. My son goes to college in a place where until this year (his last) there were no direct flights between home and the closest airport and then it was an hour drive from the airport to school (fairly easy to get rides and school runs shuttles). It would be a 16-hour drive. There’s been the occasional glitch due to weather or missed connections, but he has never regretted his choice of school. He’s not a kid who feels he has to come home often and he was generally happy to stay at school and do alternative things for short breaks. I, of course, missed him and wished he could come home more often, but still think he chose the right school for himself.
My daughter is starting school in September at a college that is an easy 2 hour drive from home, and there is a fairly convenient train as well. I am both happy to have her closer and more accessible and worried about it being too easy for her to come home. She is a kid who gets homesick easily–and a bit anxious–and think that a school farther away may have been beneficial for her gaining confidence and independence. We’ll see how it goes!
IBviolamom, this is an excellent point, and one I’ve gently tried explaining to my own DD. She toured a college that’s a one-hour $200 hub-to-hub flight away, 20 minutes from the airport on both ends. That seemed farther to her than a place five hours away. To me, the driver, that place means ten hours and possibly a hotel room, and missing a day or two of work.
My son is a 3 hour drive away from home. He does not come home often but he is able to make family gatherings. This year he made it home for a wedding and the burial of his grandmother. Me and wife go visit him once a semester. His school is located between two major cities so we sometimes just meet him for a meal and go our separate ways. My college was 4 hours away from home so taking a weekend trip home was great. I live in Texas and had some friends go to school in California. What the missed most was taking quick trip homes for holidays and weekends. Most people hit their groove after freshman year and going home often becomes less important.
@Groundwork2022 There is a lot to be said for your kid to be able to get themselves to and from school. As you said, a 5 hour drive for her is really 10 hours of driving for you. A one hour flight with both airports so close? That sounds fantastic.
My DD1 was 3.5 hours from home. She could take a bus or catch a ride with a friend to get home for Thanksgiving/Xmas. We would pick her up at the end of the school year. She would leave some stuff (e.g., fridge) over the summer in a friend’s apartment. We did not attend small things like when she was inducted into her honors
math fraternity. She is an independent, healthy person who did not need a bunch of support.
DD 2 was 1 hour from school. She has some anxiety and tends to have more health concerns. I can bop over there any time I am needed.
I started school in state and my parents moved away. I then transferred and moved farther. It was actually easier to visit because I was in a big city close to an airport and they lived close to an airport. As I got older, I stopped visiting for Thanksgiving and when I did visit it was for a week or two- I had an apartment, so I wasn’t going to pay rent for a place I wasn’t at. A lot of my friends didn’t go home for summer after the first year or two for the same reason, they had an apartment or they had a class or a job at school. The best school was the one farthest away and I don’t regret the other school I went to- it was all part of the journey. If you love the school, then the rest will work itself out.
My DD1 is going to school several states away, but close to a major airport. There are 4 non-stop flights a day. Her commute is shorter than if she stayed in state and had to drive- which would have been hard because she couldn’t have a car. She is also in an out of state dorm. Her school is known for being a commuter school, so having roommates that can’t take off every weekend was important.
We have some friends that are now realizing that having to drive 4 hours to get your kid and then drive 4 hours back isn’t really that convenient. I will see my kid more than they will see their’s. It really matters more about access to transportation than proximity. Southwest flies direct to us, so I’ve saved up points. She will come home for Thanksgiving and we will be there in September for family weekend. She might come home for one weekend this semester if she wants- we have points.
I also had plenty of friends who went to school 20 minutes away and never went home. Again, when you love your school, the rest of it works itself out!
I forgot to answer about cost of travel. We will drive down to move her in and she is taking her car. For Thanksgiving she is flying. I did pay cash, around $300. Try to buy airline tickets as far in advance as you can! For Christmas break, she will drive home, so it will cost 3 tanks of gas for the round trip.
When it comes time to move her out, we might just store her stuff and she can drive home.
I know a lot of schools don’t allow Freshman to bring cars, I lucked out that her school lets her.
Twoinanddone made an excellent point. Proximity to school does not obligate a student to go home. Further, even if home is close, laundry is not carried home and provide other conveniences. On the other hand, parents may not be enthusiastic sbout a college student who wants to come home. Conversely, proximity to school allows student to invite friends from away to invite them for Thanksgiving dinner. Distance seems most relevant to the cost of travel.