<p>I agree wholeheartedly. Beats all that Zoloft!</p>
<p>Momsdream - my daughter doesn't currently live at home. I stopped reading the blog when she asked me to, but I started reading it again when she went overseas. I know my daughter well enough to easily sort out the fact from fantasy -- most of the made-up stuff is pretty silly or over-the-top anyway - and it gives me insight into how she is feeling and what issues and problems she might be having. Since she is not at home, there is no other way for me to know. For example, one time she wrote that she had a very tough week at school and broke down crying in frustration, and didn't have the words in her host language to explain to anyone why was upset. That was a good signal to me that it was about time for me to give her a phone call and offer encouraging words -- after all, the blog made clear that she wanted and needed someone to talk to. </p>
<p>When she's home I usually don't read the blog, but I think if she seemed upset or withdrawn and I didn't know why, then I'd definitely check the blog to see if there was something she was holding back from me.</p>
<p>It is very easy for the kids to put filters on their blogs and restrict the readership to "friends only", or make the journal private all together. If college age kids leave their blogs open to the world, it is usually because they want the world to read them (whether they admit it or not...).</p>
<p>I just thought I'd clarify something - my daughter is not college age. She is 16, and we had our initial conflict over my reading her blog when she was 15 and she had written about attending a party where there was heavy drinking and a serious incident resulting in police being called. She had left the party early, but originally given me a whitewashed account of why she had left -- so what really upset her was that my blog reading allowed me to discover that she had not been honest with me. My impression was that the initial post in this thread from Boysmom2 also involved a high school aged child. The issue really comes up because as a parents of younger teenagers, we are responsible for supervising our kids, both morally and legally. I am not interested in spying on my daughter, but I am interested in keeping reasonably informed and enforcing age-appropriate standards while she is still a minor. </p>
<p>Whether she can password protect her blog or not - I don't know. I assume she could, but that she wants the blog to be fully accessible to all her high school friends. She obviously does know very well that I have access to the blog and can read it. I found out about the blog because she showed me parts of it, twice, before I ever started looking it on my own. (Kind of like if parents who post here have shown their kid the site because they want them to read a particular post, and then find later on that the kid has come back and read through everything the parent ever posted). </p>
<p>I think this is kind of like a kid with a written diary announcing to the family that it is absolutely secret and never to be touched, and then leaving it laying open on the dining room table. I think sometimes high school age teens have issues they really want their parents to know about, but they are uncomfortable talking about.</p>
<p>As a senior in college I understand many of the conerns about blogging, but not all of them.</p>
<p>First, what buisness is it of the school's what's being published on these blogs? Anything short of direct threats to anyone's well being should never enter the school administration's radar unless they, of course, are normal subscribers. </p>
<p>Secondly, I find it completely acceptable for a parent to know what their child is doing on the net. When/if I have kids you can bet your sweet ass I'll have a pretty good idea what's going on. I won't forbid it, but they'll know to keep things on the up and up.</p>
<p>Thirdly, the purpose of the blog is to gain readership. I watch my stats like a hawk (when I'm not sleep deprived from homework) because I want to know that someone is visiting and reading about my pathetic life. (Speaking of which go to: luke.evilmonkeycult.com)
Livejournals are a little different because they're more about a community of readers and commenters, but independent blogging is completely about the hits.<br>
Why would we (I) be willing to air my personal life? 1.) I find it much easier to express myself in text than in words. I've made friends and family cry (in a good way) because I expressed concerns about my personality. 2.) It helps keep me levelheaded in person. I tend to not vent at people except in text when I can read and change what I'm entering.</p>
<hr>
<p>Anyway, the important part of this post:
Blogging and online journaling is a good thing because it allows us to find people with common and diverse mind sets and opens the chance for discussion. However, you must teach your child (no lecturing...that's just demeaning) what is acceptable. This should apply to both the net and to in person meetings.</p>
<p>This isn't about blogging per say, but it's a similar topic. I write and post fiction work online, which I put a considerable amount of work into. I've told my mom upfront that I don't really want her reading it, fiction or not. Why? It's pretty dark, and I don't want to have to discuss it with her. It's my artistic choice.</p>
<p>I too find livejournal a fascinating thing. I have kids in college...and friends of my kids who are now in college and with whom I love to keep in touch. So, a little over a year ago, one of my kids made me a Livejournal...made it and then told all of his friends about it. I felt quite foolish...but he was so excited, so I did timidly post some things and (rather sheepishly) said that, if any of those kids wanted to be "friends" of mine (and hence, able to read my journal and I theirs), I would be honored...because I truly love hearing what they are up to. I have made known the fact that I try to take all things on LJ with a huge grain of salt...venting can be very painful at times. But the VERY interesting thing is, these kids (high school and college aged ones) pour their hearts out and seem to welcome the (very rare) comment I might make on their entries. I think of it as a very new and potentially powerful way to keep in touch with a lot of people. True, misunderstandings and hurt feelings can and do occur. But I have known lives to be saved...literally....when a friend of my d's wrote a suicide note on LJ. She was successfully treated and has recovered and is doing well. With the support of many friends...including one 40-something mom with whom she probably would not have had heartfelt discussions...but she now does through LJ.</p>
<p>Wolfpiper ... if you don't want your mother reading your work, why do you post it in a public place that she knows about? (I'm assuming that she does know ... if you are saying that you have refused to divulge the web site address because you don't want her to see it, that makes more sense). Why don't you just write under a pseudonym that she doesn't know about?</p>
<p>I understand the part about telling your mom not to read something because you don't want to discuss it..... I assume that is the primary reason why my high schooler doesn't want me to read her blog -- but I don't have to talk with her about what I learn from her online postings. </p>
<p>But look at it from another perspective. What if a blogging kid is suicidal and writing about it online? Or is posting threats to someone else? Shouldn't the parent know about those things?</p>
<p>I don't think that parents should spy on their kids, but at least when they are still teens under-18 and living at home, I think that parents are obligated to stay aware and alert to any potential problems or issues. My legal training tells me that there are areas where there is a "reasonable expectation of privacy" and an open online diary is not one of them. I understand that teens value their privacy and particularly don't want their parents knowing everything they do, but teens are still growing and learning, and maybe one lesson they need to learn is that what they do and say in a public place is not private.</p>
<p>there was an article in the WSJ awhile ago that reported that HR departments of corporations are searching out kids names to see if they have blogged, and if they said or did anything untoward.....goodbye job interview.</p>
<p>Secondly, where these are really difficult is if a kids lies and makes up stories about others. Unfortunately, a boy who had some emotional problems, was jilted by a girl. As a result, he blogged on for days using real names, addresses, and making up fictitious stories about several girls at the elementary school. Eventually, police got involved and kid was transferred out of the school. But, the names, lies, and blogs live on.</p>
<p>Although I've never written anything online that I truly don't want people to know, there are some things I've written that I wouldn't necessarily shout on a public street. I don't worry about it too much, though, for two reasons. </p>
<p>First of all, I'm careful to avoid mentioning specifics (names, etc.) that might be searchable, since I'm a Google-fearing man (er, in the female sense of the word). I never speak ill of other people online and I usually air my intimate thoughts in as cryptic a way as possible, such that only people who know me very well would pick up on more than the generally upset tone. </p>
<p>And second of all, I've been blogging for nearly three years, and my post count is in the thousands. I bank on the fact that nobody cares enough about my petty little life to go through all of my archives with a fine-toothed comb looking for clues into my life. Even I would get bored reading all those posts! If someone did happen to glance at this or that post and discover something about me that I might not have otherwise shared, well, so be it; I don't really mind all that much if people know things about me, so long as I don't have to tell them myself and do all the explaining and answer all the questions. But really, to find the interesting bits, they'd have to sift through years and years of repetitive and mostly irrelevant posts (since it's not Google-searchable, as I said), and who has that kind of time? If they're pathetic and nosy enough to do all that, then fine, let them know what they want about me; there's nothing too bad anyway. But most people just don't care. I certainly would never go through that many lame and inane posts about some teenage girl's boring and typical life.</p>
<p>This might sound a bit blunt, but why is it any of the schools business what my blog contains? Unless they were directly (they key here is directly) threatening bodily harm to a student\staff they have no right to do anything.</p>
<p>It isn't their business - it isn't an employer's either -- but the REALITY is that once you post something on the internet in a way that can be connected to you, some person or entity may see it and use it in ways you don't like.</p>
<p>Many years ago, I received great advice from a lawyer I worked for: never put anything in a letter unless I would be comfortable seeing that letter printed in the newspaper or used in court. The lawyer had her own tale of embarrassment to illustrate the point. This was in ancient times, before the internet had been invented -- but the same advice applies, even more so. Because back in the day when I got that advice, a letter was usually seen by only a very small cohort of people. With the internet, your post is seen by the entire world -- and not entirely by people who have your best interests at heart.</p>
<p>I think it is rather silly for teens to be worried about their parents (who love them) might see... the real worry is about what strangers or people who bear ill will to them might see and garner. The problem is that the blog entries don't go away of their own accord -- they may be seen months or years after the initial post, when the blogger has long since forgotten about them.</p>
<p>I have a xanga. I just write what I feel. My only rule is only to write what you wouldn't care having repeated. I just like to write funny stories and often get a lot of positive responses from my friends and random people who've stumbled across my site about how funny it is. I agree with the issues where you shouldn't make anything private public. That is just stupid and not common sense. Anything you wouldn't give away or say in public don't write it.</p>
<p>But sometimes it is just place to share experiences and vent frustration. I also like it because it encourages writing from me and helps me to focus some ideas that get confusing. It helps me to vent frustrations in a humorous way that people can read and laugh about with me. All in all, parents you should allow your kid to have an online journal if they want it because it fosters writing and creativity but just make sure that thye have a few rules for it. Ask if you can read it. If they say not that's okay. I have no problems with my parents reading mine (even if everything on there isn't their favorites thing to hear). Now I like it because it helps me to keep in contact with my numerous friends back at school or at other ones. So don't ban but just set some ground rules.</p>
<p>calmom: I haven't told her the address or my screen name on that site.</p>