Divorce parents: She got the yes, but no aid. HELP!

Paying for College
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<p>After 9 applications, D got in most of them. (Yale said no, the yes are: Notre Dame, Georgetown, Brown, Southern California, UT, Rice, Middlebury, RISD we don't know)
But here is the catch, except for Rice, no aid because colleges consider in the EFC the stranged and uncooperative dad's income( 200,000), even when he is out of the picture. Even when our "family" is now made up 2 teens and a displaced homemaker, even when the taxes and W2 prove there is a need, even when school counselor sent letters explaining and confirming situation. Dad divorced 5 years ago laundering every cent from accounts and selling our only asset -our home (no equity, he undersold to sell quick). No financial stability, no roof over our heads, zero income from one day to another, I had to get a job. Kids were 13 and 11, comfortable middle class -suddlendly no-class!! Today I have a low paying job, finally no debts, health insurance, a townhome and a car. D is an outstanding student (details below), and getting where she is was already a miracle considering what she went through, which also includes a bone tumor and three operations -after the divorce, in another town. This is my first kid going through college and I need directions. HELP, please!
Q: how can I convince, at this point, college counselors that we in fact cannot pay the EFC quoted? what do they need to see or hear? whom can I talk/write to? what is best?
Q2: Meanwhile, do I need to apply for loans already? I am still hoping for aid, so how much should the loan be for?
I do not want to just turn around and look into the community colleges, she IS outstanding and it would not be fair after all her hard work. </p>

<p>D's stats:
top 1% of class of 900
GPA 3.9/4
English, Spanish, Russian, Japanese, some Italian
NHM commended
Principal Leadership student rep
Several Ntl Honor Soc member
Ntl Honor HS Scholar
Art Club president
Lit club treasurer
Volunteer hours +600
County Public libraries Teen Magazine founder, editor (4 years)
Global Youth Leadership Council Scholarship winner, gave final speech at United Nations
Dance, sports, performing arts, art awards and exhibits, Rotary scholarship, Bar Assn Scholarship finalist, etc</p>

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<p>Did you apply to any fafsa only schools that wouldn’t have asked for Dad’s information?</p>

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<p>all schools asked for his info, and that only after the rest of the process was done, i didn’t know that it was probably better to start the search looking into colleges’ FAFSA policies, i assumed it was all the same. We stared with my D looking into quality of programs she was interested in, thinking with my low salary and her top qualif. the sky was the limit…</p>

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<p>well, that was your mistake. Most schools DON"T use the profile.</p>

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<p>Please, explain. I thought they use FAFSA and CSS, and then make their own formula (which I didn’t ask because I tought would give me inmediately a “shopping for aid” label , kinda like “this student won’t bring us any $” decision)
What do I do now? any suggestions?</p>

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<p>you can appeal the FA awards or see if there are any fafsa only schools that are still accepting applications.</p>

<p>What was your EFC from the Fafsa application (where you only entered your own data, not dad’s)</p>

<p><a href=“https://profileonline.collegeboard.com/prf/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet.srv[/url]”>https://profileonline.collegeboard.com/prf/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet/PXRemotePartInstitutionServlet.srv&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>not all profile schools request the non-custodial information</p>

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<p>UT=University of Texas? Aren’t they a FAFSA only school? What about state grants/FA - they usually are dependent on the custodial parent only. Also, is it possible for her to get an app in quickly to a FAFSA only school that may have not been initially quite as desirable? Perhaps she could do 1-2 years there and transfer to one of her top picks for her upper level courses and degree.
She should be offered a $5500 Stafford loan. If her school is not a direct lender, then you can start looking at FFEL lenders that you’ll want to work with. You can apply for a private or ParentPlus loan (through school if a direct lender), but it doesn’t have to be done until after she decides on a school as they’ll have to certify the loan.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, you didn’t apply to many of the excellent schools that give students like your child aid on the basis of qualifications (merit aid). The fact that your husband is out of the picture through his own choice is not the colleges’ problem. They still hold him responsible for providing for his children. </p>

<p>Your situation is no different than the thousands of kids whose parents (married, divorced or never married) don’t want to pay for college. It’s not the kids’ fault, but it’s not the colleges’ fault either. There is no “tuition fairy” who will come in and pay fo college when parents won’t.</p>

<p>Your d’s best choice may be to take a gap year and apply next year to schools that grant merit aid. I don’t think there’s much chance of your d getting additional financial aid. I’m sorry.</p>

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<p>I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Unfortunately, Chedva is correct and said it best – your situation is no different than the thousands of kids whose parents (married, divorced, or never married) don’t want to pay for college.</p>

<p>I probably would not waste time appealing. I don’t think you’re going to get any colleges to waive the non-custodial parent data in your case. Why should they, really? They have the father’s financial data; he is just unwilling to pay. Not their problem. Shame on him.</p>

<p>Aside from quickly locating colleges that accept FAFSA only and are still accepting applications, there is always the possibility of a gap year – or community college for a year to get in basic credit hours.</p>

<p>It’s unfortunate, and I feel for your daughter and you. It is most unfortunate that she applied mainly to schools that take the CSS and are not known for their copious amounts of merit aid.</p>

<p>Try to locate schools that are known for merit aid, perhaps a little less selective (where your daughter might stand out at the top of the heap for merit aid), and take only the FAFSA.</p>

<p>Wishing you and your daughter good fortune!</p>

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<p>Your situation is very common. If your ex even bothered to complete the financial aid forms, he is doing more than what many of the noncustodial parents do in the college process. They most often flat out refuse to fill out a single shred of paper or lift a finger in the process. Unfortunately, in doing so, it shows that he is not entirely out of the picture. You can talk to the financial aid officers and try to convince them that he has abandoned the kids, and that you have back from counselors, ministers, etc but it appears that you have already started down that path to no avail. </p>

<p>You say that Rice is one school that has recognized your D’s situation. Then that is where she should go. FOr any number of reasons there are many, many kids who did not get the aid they needed to go to school of their choice. Your D is in that number, but Rice is a wonderful option to have. </p>

<p>The problem with FAFSA only schools is that they tend to be less generous in aid, as none of them guarantee to meet full need. However, with your D’s stats there are some schools that either want FAFSA only or only ask for the custodial parent’s PROFILE, that would likely to have come up with a nice package for your daughter. Most of them are not of the selectivity and prestige factor of your D’s college list, however.</p>

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<p>Here is one list of late and rolling admission schools that she may want to take a look at:</p>

<p>[Late</a> & Rolling Deadline Schools](<a href=“http://www.petersons.com/ugchannel/code/LateDeadlineSchools.asp]Late”>Late Deadline Schools: Finding one and getting in with a great college essay)</p>

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<p>UTexas is a FAFSA-only school. FAFSA is only based on what you made. Didn’t they offer you aid? (Plus, are there any Texas need-based grants that would help her out if she attended UT or Rice?) I’m thinking your daughter will have to accept UTx or Rice. </p>

<p>I can only think of one other idea and I don’t know anyone who has ever tried it. You said your ex is “uncooperative” but obviously, he filled out the FAFSA forms. I’m guessing he also pays child support. Based on $200,000 worth of income, it’s probably decent child support. If so… what if you moved to a state that allowed child support until age 21yo? I know Washington DC does. Would 3 more years of child support be enough to finance her college? Like I said, I’ve never tried this and I’m not a lawyer… I’m just brainstorming. </p>

<p>I’m not sure what you mean when you say her dad is uncooperative if he filled out financial aid forms. Here are some suggestions.</p>

<p>1- This may sound crazy but if he pays child support, moving might help you. I know that Washington D.C. (and maybe some states) require child support until age 21yo. If you got 3 more years of child support, could you get her through college? .</p>

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<p>My son’s best friend was accepted to a very selective school. His father (never was much of a presence in the kid’s life) did fill out the CSS Profile. College came back with no aid based on the dad’s income --the mom was very low-income. It’s a need-based-aid only school that meets full need. Anyway, the mom appealed the award and the school did waive the non-custodial parent info. I’m certain this is not something that is done often, but it really is worth asking. If you can meet with someone in person, all the better, and don’t settle for talking to someone low on the ladder. They will always say no. Make sure to talk to the head of the FA office. It’s a long-shot, but worth trying.</p>

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<p>2collegewego, it’s not likely that moving will help. Child support arrangements are set in the state of residence at the time of the divorce. Moving does not change the terms of the arrangement. She would have to take him back to court to do that, in the original state of residence at the time of divorce, and she could do that with or without moving. It’s not recommended, though. It would likely be a losing battle. If the request is to change from a mediated settlement, or to change from a state’s standard child support practices, it’s practically impossible – unless there are obvious and somewhat extreme circumstances that would dictate a change. Impending college is not such an extreme circumstance, since it’s predictable at the time of divorce. </p>

<p>Also, many states cap the amount of child support dad has to pay. Not that OP necessarily got her divorce in Texas, but Texas is one of those states that caps. I don’t recall the state’s formula, but it used to be something like 25% of the first $60,000 for two kids. It changed, oh, maybe 2 years ago to something like 25% of the first, idk, $85,000? Something like that. So even if dad made $400,000, Texas standard would just require 25% of the first, say, $85,000. The rest, dad gets to keep! So, dad’s $200,000 may or may not be of much help to OP.</p>

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<p>Since she has gotten into some wonderful and selective schools, she is definitely the kind of student that a lower tier school that gives merit aid would love to have. There was a thread on the Parents Forum in which a mom shared her strategies on how to get a full ride for her son. Not everyone agreed with her strategy, but in your case–if it makes the difference between going to college and not going to college, it’s worth pursuing.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, this info comes a little late for you. If you can’t get a situation that works for you this year, you might try a gap year and re-apply to a different set of colleges that are more affordable.</p>

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<p>momfromtexas is the one who published her research on full ride scholarships:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/291483-update-what-i-learned-about-free-ride-scholarships.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/291483-update-what-i-learned-about-free-ride-scholarships.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>THANK you, my days are so busy I hadn’t had a chance to come back till now.
Thanks for brainstorming with me, thanks.
sueinphilly, How do I appeal the awards, is there a formal way or a call/meeting will do? Do I need to bring up anything else? can I hurt instead of making things better?
'rentof2, any suggestions on appeals?</p>

<p>sk8rmom: I feel so bad that facts that you are so aware of, like applying to FASA only schools, were not brought up by school counselors, since they knew our struggle from the beginning, and we were proactive ans started years ago.
getting into another university for one yr looks good to me (will give her some learning lesson on being open minded and flexible while keeping her busy) but how easy is it to try again next year with a better university, when it is not her freshman year? Are still good financing options available?</p>

<p>happymomof1 checking your list THANKS!!!</p>

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<p>SimpleLife, cptofthehouse: Thanks for trying to think through this as well. child support, per divorce papers carefully drafted by him, stopped last February. College arrangements were taken out of papers. See, his 1st step after deciding he’d go away was to clear all accounts and sell all property, which left me with no legal help through the process; he did whatever he pleased -we were at his mercy. But it is true, colleges don’t care about the difference between a successful kid that had to struggle with all this plus her tumor, and another one that just doesn’t want to pay. her grades and merits are now just a number similar to many others, and my job is to make a wise decision here with her… and maybe punch that counselor that would not tell us that simple thing: look for Fafsa only schools. Better, I will get all the info I can and make a blog and give her a link ;-)</p>

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<p>Ugh. I hate that he got away with just doing whatever he pleased! No fair.</p>

<p>Good luck with everything! Your daughter has done good. And you’ve done good by her.</p>