Divorced parents and Move-in day?

Student Lounge College Life
1

My parents are divorced and both remarried and aren’t exactly very friendly with each other. It can be very awkward when they’re together even when they are trying to be civil. Im going to college soon and both of them want to help me move in and I have no idea what to tell them because I don’t want that day it be super awkward. Any advice from parents or anyone who has been through this would be a huge help.

Thanks!

2

I remember another thread where the suggestion was to have one parent do the move in day. Then have the other one come a week or two later and bring anything you realize you need, take you out to dinner, meet your new friends, etc. Give each parent a special separate time with you.

Here is a very long thread with lots of feedback.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1732443-divorced-parents-on-move-in-day-what-to-do-p1.html

3

I will tell what my ex and I did for our D. We both went. We each took a car, so that way no one car was overloaded. We each helped her move things in, ex took D to the bike shop for a tune-up or something, and left. I stayed to eat lunch with D and her little sister, then we said our goodbyes. Ex and are are civil, but not friendly. For our D, though,we came together. It worked. I understand this wouldn’t work for everyone, but even when we were barely speaking, for important occasions, he and I would both be there for both kids. Best of luck to you.

4

My daughter’s boyfriend’s parents are divorced but amicable. One did move in day and the other did parent’s weekend for Freshman year, and I believe they swapped for Sophomore year. They also take turns with the pick up and return for breaks.

5

Tell your parents to grow up and get along for one day. Good Lord, they made you…one day of civility won’t kill them.

6

Would it be any easier if you asked both parents to leave their spouses behind that day - do they add to the stress?

7

@JustGraduate This is actually not a bad suggestion. Exes sometimes feel that, in order to prove loyalty to the new spouse, they have to be less cordial to the ex. The parents may relax a bit if it’s just them and the kid THEY created.

8

I would,suggest leaving the spouses at home purely for logistic reasons. Dorm rooms aren’t all that big. This would be four parents and the student…and that doesn’t include the roommates family who might just be there at the same time.