<p>I've posted on the "Financial Aid & Scholarships" forum a few times but the financial situation between my parents (who have been divorced for more than 7 years) has been changing. I'll start by saying that I was given a relatively generous aid award by a top 25 university after being taken off by their wait-list. I was ecstatic about the acceptance and aid, my parents were happy, too. Then talks about paying about the remaining tuition, room & board, and fees came up and it's become a feuding battle between both of them (it's always been this way). I'll write a brief synopsis of their views regarding paying the COA balance:</p>
<p>Father (Custodial):
Claims that mother (noncustoidal) does not offer adequate child support payments to him (which she does not--she owes $52,000 from 5 years of neglecting to pay child support) and distorts her "economic well-being" by "hiding money away" (not sure if that's true or not). He affirms that because of this, she should either pay the whole parent contribution (~$4850 [TOTAL]--which correlates to $500 a month on a 10 month payment plan) or I should take out a Stafford Loan of $5,500 to cover the parent contribution in my name. He says he has a lot on his plate (supporting my 4 other siblings w/o child support and maintaining a business). And I understand he taken a lot of responsibility on his part, but there are times where I feel like he has more to offer than he leads on and that he has raised my siblings and I in a considerably humble setting (i.e. he is stingy). I don't think it's fair for him to completely disregard his role as a parent by neglecting to financially support me because of my mother's "unwillingness" to pay. His income is somewhere in the ball park of $60K-75K any given year.</p>
<p>Mother (Non-Custodial):
Claims that father (custodial) should not receive child support payments for a variety of reasons: he's remarried, has a "decent" running business, is the "man" in this predicament and should be held accountable to support us, and has reason to believe he does not spend her child support payments towards our well-being (i.e. he uses it for his own pleasure, resources, etc.). Regardless of what she believes to be true I know it is a crime for her to neglect to pay child support, but in all honesty I don't really know if she has the means to. She made about $15,000 last year and hasn't made any income since. She's lost her house and has succumbed to driving the business "van" (her car was re-poed). I've spoken with her in-depth about paying for college and their contribution. She DOES NOT want me taking out student loans and has agreed to pay her part of the contribution, she'll "find a way", she says (which would be $250 a month).</p>
<p>I don't know who to believe and I'm trying to stay neutral in the situation but it's my future that is at stake. I don't want to have to take out a loan that isn't need just because my parents can not cooperate. It's always been about money to them and it's what broke their marriage in the first place. I can't take on the contribution by myself, as I already have a W/S Job (of $1750) and Stipend Work (of $1500) --which will both cover my contribution and personal expenses, coupled with athletics, academics, and extracurricular act., it would be "over-kill" for me. </p>
<p>What should I do? Who is "right" in this situation?</p>
<p>What’s “right” or what’s practical? The practical thing for you to do is to take out a Stafford, thank God that you can cover their contribution with that and prepare to start your first year of college. It doesn’t sound like your mom is any position to give you $250/ month and your dad may not be able to help you out and know that all your younger siblings will expect the same thing. I also think you should put away what you can. Chances are your contribution will be higher next year and then in your upper class years.</p>
<p>(1) Your mother owes YOU nothing and you cannot collect support from her; any debt she owes for unpaid child support is to your father, not you.</p>
<p>(2) If your father thinks your mother owes him money (for unpaid support), he can take her to court. If he chooses not to, then that’s the end of it. It is not a “crime” not to pay child support; child support is an obligation she owes to to your father alone and it’s up to him to enforce it (although your local child support services agency can help him collect, if he requests the help).</p>
<p>(3) If your mother can’t afford to pay her support obligation, she can go to court to get it changed.</p>
<p>In short, none of this is your problem. It’s theirs - and they can fix it or not, as they choose.</p>
<p>If your father wants to help you with college expenses, he should just do it, and then try to collect the money from your mother later. If he’s not willing to help you, then that’s the end of it. Find a way to make it work without his help, and move on. Their problems are just that - THEIR problems, not yours.</p>
<p>Thank You, both. My father has taken my mother to court (multiple times). She’s gotten her driver’s license taken away and has faced jail time. But in result he’s still paying his attorney fees.</p>
<p>I’m just worried about the amount of debt I may accumulate over 4 years of undergrad. With tuition raising almost every year along with my contribution, I might have to take on more loans. Best case scenario, I end up with 30K+ of student loan debt, which to most would seem manageable but considering that I plan on pursuing a career that has bleak job prospects and a “modest” salary I want to minimize my debt. A student loan debt of $30K after 4 years would be much higher than the “average indebtedness of a college grad” at my university (almost half) and considering that I had an EFC of 0 I fell like my debt shouldn’t be that high after college. </p>
<p>I don’t want to seem selfish, but I think if I can scrap up the money to pay my own contribution and personal expenses then they should be too. I know they’ve got a lot to handle but seeing as how I won’t be “another mouth to feed” in the household they should at least have something to offer to my education. But I can’t figure out if they’re being stubborn or “realistic” about the situation were in.</p>
<p>It is July 11th. No one on this board can make your parents do anything. You just got into this school from the waitlist. What was your Plan B? If it would have allowed you to graduate debt free, perhaps that is the better choice. Also, consider the fact that a huge percentage of students change their minds about their major, so you could as well. </p>
<p>Your frustration is understandable. It is always difficult when our parents don’t live up to our expectations, but they don’t. </p>
<p>As an aside, many parents require their kids to take out the Stafford loans so that their kids have skin in the game.</p>
<p>Your right, LMM196, I know in the end it’s up to my parents on what they decide to contribute. My plan B was a local state school (not flagship), but I wouldn’t have been debt free, unfortunately. I’m hoping I can find passion in a more profitable major but I’m still leaning towards the one I have in mind (film). In my case, I don’t think it’s a matter of gaining “skin in the game” in regards to taking out loans, but more of not wanting to get involved with my wanting a better future for my self. They’ve always done this to me and and brothers: refuse to pay for our necessities because the other isn’t “coughing up”. I’ve gone without so much because of this, but I’ve stayed quite till now.</p>
<p>Theoretically, if I didn’t get a loan would my parents still be responsible for their contribution? Would it roll over to next year in their name? Can I even another year in college still having a balance in the previous year? Can I take out a Stafford loan any time in the year?</p>
<p>Nope, if they don’t pay, it’s YOUR problem, not theirs, and you wouldn’t be allowed to continue.</p>
<p>If you’re concerned about debt - and it’s a very legitimate concern! - then one option might be to pass on college for a year, get a job, and apply to a different set of colleges for the following year where you’d qualify for enough merit aid to pay your expenses.</p>
<p>But, with debt of only $5000/year, you might be able to get a summer job that would cover a good chunk of this . . . in which case you can repay the loans immediately and graduate with significantly less debt. </p>
<p>Honestly, it’s unlikely you’ll find a school that would give you a better deal than you already have.</p>
<p>You have asked the same question about your debt on another thread. If you work and take out the $5500 Stafford loan most of your costs are covered. Why are you having issues with taking out this stafford loan. It is for about 10% of the cost of attendance at your school. Your aid is covering NINRTY PERCENT of the cost of attending this expensive school.</p>
<p>Thank your lucky starts that you got such a wonderful aid package and move on. If you are worried about accumulating debt, then work hard during the summers to stay on top of it.</p>
<p>I would take out that loan for this year. Also, many schools have additional departmental scholarships for upperclassmen. My husband got a full ride his senior year. I got a departmental scholarship my senior year as well. Get to know your professors. Do well in your major. Make yourself stand out and you will have a better chance. Don’t waste anymore energy on your parents… Believe me, I understand. It wasn’t college. It was my wedding. My husband and I planned and took care of it. I ignored them and their screaming fights about it. ( Though I did call my future husband the night before our rehearsal dinner to ask if it was too late to elope as I was scared to death they would cause a scene at the dinner or the wedding… They didn’t. ) Don’t waste your energy. It is your life. You plan it.</p>
<p>Take the loans out. If your mom magically comes thru with monthly payments, then that just means that you’ll have a positive balance for SPRING semester and won’t have to borrow as much. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t tell your mom that you’re taking out the loans because: 1) she doesn’t want you to take out loans. 2) She says that she’ll contribute. Just take out the loans, don’t tell her, see if she actually does pay. If she knows that you have loan money, that will excuse her from paying in the back of her mind. If she does pay, again, the money will sit in your acct as a positive balance for Spring…so less loans needed for Spring. </p>
<p>Do what YOU have to do. don’t rely on unreliable people who are (still) fighting about marriage/divorce issues. There’s a lot going on between your parents that you’re not even aware of. Your mom is bitter that your dad and new wife have a much better economic picture than she does. Your dad is angry that your mom hasn’t been much help in raising the kids. Don’t let your college career be affected by “adult issues.”</p>
<p>Be very very glad that you can afford to attend a good school for only the cost of your Stafford loans. There are many people who cannot afford to do that.</p>
<p>Yes, debt is scarey. But try to think of it as an investment. It is also a means of getting out of the mess that you are in with your parents and your first step toward becoming independent of them and their issues.</p>
<p>Parents do not owe their children a college education. One of the families in my church, and also my daughter’s fiancee’s parents, booted their children out of the home after high school graduation, offering no financial support at all (not even car or health insurance). The school will not bill your parents; they will bill you. And most schools will not carry a balance, as you asked - some will oust students partway into the semester if their accounts are not paid in full.</p>
<p>The Stafford loan is your way to freedom. Take it.</p>
<p>Your Dad’s $60-75K income doesn’t go very far with 5 kids and a household; that explains your humble upbringing and his reluctance to spend 10% on your college. Your Mom is not likely to find $250/month out of $0-15K income. Even if they had stayed together, they might not have $5k/year. Nor would they be required to pay the EFC if they were still married.</p>
<p>All good reasons to accept the Stafford loans. Those are limited to amounts that most people feel are manageable. Private loans would be another story. Your parents are not likely to borrow money or co-sign your loans, so private loans probably aren’t even an option.</p>
<p>So I think you need to plan on doing the whole 4 years with Stafford loan assistance, and budget accordingly. Good luck.</p>
No. The FA letter just shows how the school calculates the awards they are making. Ultimately they do not care who actually pays what, they expect to be paid and on time. And you are the one that will owe any unpaid balances. All outstanding balances will be in YOUR name, not your parents. If you look at the bill and all correspondence from the school - it is addressed to you.</p>
<p>
No. It will not roll over to next year - the school will require payment before you can continue a second semester. Some schools will drop you from the current semester classes if you have an unpaid balance after a certain date - and you will still owe the balance if you have not dropped the classes by the final date to drop without owing money. And as said before, all outstanding balances will be in your name</p>
<p>
You can’t continue onto a second year or even a second semester with an outstanding balance from the previous semester. It is like any service - if you don’t pay for it you can’t continue to get it. And if you leave the school with an outstanding balance. they will not release your transcripts making it impossible to transfer to another school.</p>
<p>You can take out a Stafford loan at any time but your school will have a due date by which they expect to be paid. This varies by school. Some expect payment before the semester starts. My son’s school expected it by 5p.m. the end of the first day of school. My daughter’s expected it by the 15th of the following month. You need to find out when your school’s payment deadline is. Our schools also charged an interest penalty of 1.5% a month on balances outstanding after the payment deadline.</p>
<p>If your parents do not pay the parent contribution, the only way to attend the school would be to take out the loan in your own name. The problem about who will pay what is between you and your parents, not the school.</p>
<p>To be honest I would kill only to have to take out loans of $5500 dollars, and if your father has already given so much to you it really isn’t fair to expect him to cover it.</p>
<p>Correct, the father was custodial parent. The mom didn’t pay the required child support, owes the father back child support and the father has 4 other kids to support. The father feels like he’s done enough. The mother is clearly has not stepped up nor is in a position to step up which is why people are suggesting to the OP that the practical thing to do is to take the federal direct loans…and I agree. We hear this story over and over although more often it’s the mom who got custody and the former H isn’t contributing and claims he hasn’t any money…this one is just reversed.</p>
<p>Yeah, I say take out the loans, Apple. It’s your best bet with the way you situation is, atm. Don’t rely on your parents or you’ll end up regretting it. best of luck =)</p>
<p>I apologize about making a similar thread to the one I posted a few weeks ago, I just didn’t feel like I fleshed out my circumstances well enough on that one and I wanted to hear the CC community’s’ opinion about my case.</p>
<p>I’ll probably take out the Stafford (assuming that my parents are unwilling to pay) and hope to pay if off with summer employment next year. However, I don’t think I’ll tell them this, because if at all possible I’d like them to at least contribute something if just a few hundred dollars. I know it’s unlikely, but if I have a remaining balance on a Stafford, would it “roll over” to next year?</p>