@ClaremontMom I agree it has to be about the student and not a trendy argument.
In the case of my S he had done a language immersion living overseas, research and been involved in student government implementing positive social changes. He is about what he wrote. But I still thought his essay sounded angry… If the student truly has a vision of a better world, even if it’s naive, and it comes through on the rest of the application, I’d want the AdCom to know it. I’d hate to see my S get to a school only to learn who he is isn’t who they want.
I think the reference is from “The Battle for Room 314,” which came out this year.
"The applicants were an impressive lot. A girl wrote a brilliant feminist essay—worthy of Harper’s, really—about gender and socialization, revealing that she was a phantom serial farter in public and yet no one ever suspected because of her gender,” writes Boland.
I suspect none of us have seen her essay, how she formed it. In fact, the idea it was just about farting seems misleading. Catch that: brilliant feminist essay. Not a hs thesis statement paper. (And remember, more than 20 years ago, when competition was different.)
What’s going to make a kid seem compelling for that college? It’s not just being “controversial.” If she works with the poor or campaigns for something, she’s going to look a lot more energized than just claiming Marxist ideas. If she can show how she worked for change in her hs, that’s something. Or LoRs noting how she positively impacted the level of thinking in classes. Lots of ways to add meat.
^Agree with that. It goes with the “show, don’t tell” advice we give to college applicants. If the OP’s D really wants to impress ad-coms, she will get her hands dirty – working toward passage of minimum wage legislation in her area, volunteering at food banks or shelters for people who don’t have as much as she does, volunteering for a political campaign. That will give her some experiences to tie to her strong opinions, and give her a chance to make the essay about herself – grand pronouncements aren’t helpful in essays.
@lookingforward Have you seen the essays from Georgetown SFS applicants? They aren’t spouting off, they are responding to a prompt and demonstrating their interest in world affairs. Some wishy washy, “I’m only 17 what do I know” response is not going to cut it. Ditto on wimpy status quo support- boring! Applicants who are hoping to study Econ, International Relations, and Poli Sci should follow suit.
Brandeis might also be a good place to research for fit.
As much as they say they want interesting or quirky (depending on the school) or passionate kids, every AdCom is also worried about making sure the kids they admit are stable and will not try to take over the chemistry lab (Columbia in the 60s) and you never want your kid’s essay to have that potential sound.
If she has the stats I would look at Harvard. As others have said, she needs to walk the walk, soup kitchen, political campaign, semester in China, whatever. Also as someone said, there needs to be depth and understanding, not just a parrot.
I like the idea someone else mentioned of hiring an essay consultant to tone her down and act as a mediator and to give a reality check. I personally did not find my kid’s teachers helpful with that.
I would divide her schools into two piles, at each level, reach, target and safety. Maybe apply to a few more than you otherwise would. At each level, I would do one essay her way, and for the peer school do something more conventional. Paying attention to fit so for Harvard I would do her way, for Yale I would do the regular essay, maybe mixing and matching in some cases. On the common app the essay can be changed three times (although double check for next year.) So she can do all using one essay and then do the rest using the other essay.
I think the Marxist discussion does not fit the context of her entire application. I like the idea of sending different essays to different school but, as has been said, it’s been more of an intellectual debate that one backed up by action. I’ve told her to leave it out of the application, but she can continue writing whatever she wants besides that.
That is a complete non-sequitur in this conversation. Where is there any evidence that this kid is a candidate for Harvard (or Yale) in the OP’s posts?
^ Where is there evidence that she should apply to Reed or Oberlin or any other school mentioned, those may be way out of reach? The OP did not specify stats, hence my comment. Harvard has a rather left wing reputation. I know a couple of students who attend or have attended and they do both walk the walk and talk the talk. It would certainly be more conistent with her outlook than some others.
Um… if every student who knew who Marx was was a candidate for Harvard, they would get hundreds of thousands of applications a yet. That is ridiculous. The odds of her having H or Y stats are tiny.
Actually the average 16 year old is much more likely to be able to name all the Kardashians than to be able to tell you who the Waltons, Marx and Lenin are/were. Not that this by itself will get them into college. However for the AVERAGE student Oberlin is just as impossible a reach as any HYP. Lots of other suggestions made without knowing her stats.
Besides, look at post 14 which is the first to bring up the idea of a HYP with regard to that person’s S. Of the HYP, IF and only IF OP has a candidate for one of those, Harvard would be the place she should investigate.
Don’t forget that some have dubbed Harvard the Kremlin on the Charles. After all, the university’s long been a haven for notorious leftists - just look at George “Dubya” Bush, Mitt Romney, and Ted Cruz.
She should channel that intensity into showing passion about something in her college essay…but not something controversial. She will have ample time to explore that at college.
I don’t know what the right advice is, but I’m so disheartened by this discussion. IMO: Your girl should be herself. FULLY herself. Don’t put a lid on it (her). If she’s smart enough to be provocative in an enticing way, it will not hurt her admission chances to any school where they “get” her. Apply broadly, to lots of schools. Would she want to go to a school that does NOT “get” her? My D’s essay told one highly selective school how ugly its campus was compared to another school she had recently seen. And she got in with tons of aid. I think Adcoms are more than anything tired of canned “I think this is what you want to hear” lazy essays.
I think OP now gets the point made here and we wish her and her D the best.
No one is trying to stifle this gal. But the difference is that this is a college app. There are many situations where we ask our kids to show their best side, what’s appropriate to the context.