<p>My 17 year old daughter has been asked to come to the home of a Ivy alumnus for her interview this weekend. This does not seem appropriate. All of her other interviews have been in a public location. She is now afraid that if we ask the interveiw be held elsewhere, the (male) interviewer will be offended, and not give her a good interview. In a normal circumstance, I would never allow her to go to a strange mans house alone. I would think universities would forbid their alumni interviewers from this practice. Can you please tell me what you think as parents.</p>
<p>Not a parent here, but going to an alum’s house for an interview is different than just going to some strange man’s home. This guy is presumably vetted by the school in advance, since they will be held accountable if anything out of the ordinary should happen, and you know where she’s going to be the whole time. If you want you can drive her there, wait in the car in the drive way, and bring her back. </p>
<p>Many alum interviewers meet in public places because they don’t have the space in their homes to host an interview (and maybe because they don’t want to go through the trouble of cleaning up to create a good impression), or because they live out of hte way, or because they prefer it. But having an interview in a home isn’t really much different than attending a prospective student event held in an alum’s home.</p>
<p>We live in a suburb of NY. We are fairly comfortable with our town and also surrounding towns. When my daughter was going through the interview process, she did have a handful of interviews at interviewer’s house, and there was one that was conducted at our house. I could understand your concern. Many schools do ask their alums not to conduct interviews at their home. If you are concerned, you could drop/pickup your daughter, that way you would know where she is and the interviewer would also know.</p>
<p>One thing to note is of all the years I have been on CC, I have never heard of anyone reporting anything inappropriate at those interviews. Those alums are known by the school. If they really want to do anything weird they could do it in a way that wouldn’t be as easily found out. If I were an interviewer, I would be more afraid the interviewee would accuse me something that I didn’t do, and not want to conduct the interview at a non-public palce.</p>
<p>I know an alumni interviewer for Harvard. She holds all interviews at her home and I can see how this environment would be far less intimidating and allow for a more relaxed conversation than if it was held at her office and certainly less distracting than were it held at a starbucks.</p>
<p>My answer is, yes. You allow it.</p>
<p>I think you can allow this, but if I were a mother of a daughter I would drop off my daughter and introduce myself.</p>
<p>When I applied in 2002, all of my interviews except one (which was in <em>my</em> home) were in the interviewer’s home. I thought it was the standard. Someplace like a Starbucks seems horribly distracting for an interview.</p>
<p>I would say, yes, allow it. There’s a difference between an “ordinary” strange man and an interviewer who is accountable to the university.</p>
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<p>Just say no.
On so many levels - this is inappropriate. I would not allow my daughter (or son) to go. Why can’t the interviewer go to your home?<br>
There are many public places that would be more appropriate.</p>
<p>My husband is an Ivy alum and interviews in our home. I’ve never thought twice about it; of course, we live in a house and have children…but of course there is no way for a kid to know this.</p>
<p>A few years ago, an acquaintance voiced this concern to me after her daughter had been contacted by email for one of her Ivy interviews. The mother was really concerned that a man had asked her daughter to come to his residence out in the sticks for an interview. Since my oldest daughter had been contacted by the same interviewer, I knew exactly who she was talking about and almost laughed. The man, who I knew professionally and in church, is in his 70s, and his wife is usually at home for the interviews. When I heard the mother’s concern, however, I realized how reasonable it might be in some situations; it just never crossed my mind because I knew the man in question. My guess is that he is more comfortable interviewing from his study, and I imagine the Ivy knows this and condones it.</p>
<p>I’ve been an Ivy alum interviewing students in my home because that was the easiest place for me to do so. I figured that since I was a woman, the students wouldn’t become concerned about coming over. However, I stopped doing so when it dawned on me that I could be unsafe. That dawned on me after another alum who interviewed in her home told me that after one of the students whom she had interviewed was rejected, he and his mother came to her house again, pushed their way in and berated the interviewer about his rejection.</p>
<p>Back to you: I don’t suggest introducing yourself to the interviewer. If you’re concerned, then drop your student off, have your student tell the interviewer that you’ll be picking her up, and have your student ask the interviewer when you should return to pick up your daughter, and then wait outside promptly at the appointed time.</p>
<p>The men whom I’ve heard of who interview at their homes typically have their kids or spouse in the home so the student feels safe.</p>
<p>Luminati…muahahahahaha! I LOLed</p>
<p>I was surprised when I first heard this was a practice. But there are “bad people” everywhere…we have to live, so we calculate the odds and make our decisions based on that. The interviewer is taking a MUCH greater risk, in my opinion. I would not invite a stranger into my home in this way. So…what are the risks to your child? Practically none. </p>
<p>It’s an ivy league alum. What are the odds they’re a pedophile? Drive by the address in advance, to feel comfy with the neighborhood. I would not drop off/meet the interviewer-my daughter is self sufficient. Of course…if they say they can only schedule the appointment Wednesday between 4 and 5…because that’s VISTING DAY (at the prison or asylum!) …you might be more inclined to RUN.</p>
<p>“On so many levels - this is inappropriate. I would not allow my daughter (or son) to go. Why can’t the interviewer go to your home?
There are many public places that would be more appropriate.”</p>
<p>The interviewer is squeezing in time from their busy schedule. Interviews take even more time for the interviewer than for the interviewee because the interviewer has to write a report, too.</p>
<p>The interviewer may need to be home for a variety of reasons including to watch over their kids. The interviewer may have only one car…</p>
<p>The interviewer is just a volunteer going out of their way to help their college and applicants. It’s not as if the interviewer is getting paid to do this. Typically, interviewers are people who are just as busy or even more busy than are the students they interview. That’s why the interviewers select places that are convenient for themselves.</p>
<p>I’ve been interviewing for years, and always did the interviews in my home until I started reading College Confidential. It never dawned on me that it was inappropriate for students to come to my house. I have since started meeting in public places – and frankly, don’t find them as comfortable. Coffee places can be loud and crowded, and I feel like our conversations are being listened to by the people in the tables next door (I usually try to get their early to select an out-of-the-way table, but that doesn’t always work.)</p>
<p>Alumni are volunteering their time to do these interviews. It’s a lot easier for me to wait at home for an applicant to come to my house. I don’t have to spend more time traveling to and from the interview. But I’ve gotten the message – times have changed.</p>
<p>Add me to the list of people to whom it never occurred that this might be an issue.</p>
<p>Your daughter will be going away to college soon. She ought to be able to handle herself in this situation.</p>
<p>“Coffee places can be loud and crowded, and I feel like our conversations are being listened to by the people in the tables next door (I usually try to get their early to select an out-of-the-way table, but that doesn’t always work.)”</p>
<p>I had that same problem with coffee places. There may even be friends of the student sitting within hearing distance…</p>
<p>Northstarmom - seriously??
If the interviewer doesn’t have time to devote to the interview then they should not volunteer. I would think kids would be more distracting than a quiet table at a dunkin donuts in the evening.</p>
<p>Way back when… I interviewed with an Ivy alum and went to her office.<br>
My daughter applied to two service academies and never once went to an Officer’s home for an interview. Their SOP is either the candidate’s home or a public place.</p>
<p>Aside from obvious safety concerns … could it be the interview wants to <em>show off</em> her home - as in “come to my school and you could live here someday”?? That is cynical of me but…</p>
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OMG. You have no idea. pedophile’s don’t look like pedophiles. </p>
<p>Go to a coffee shop when it’s not crowded. they are not mobbed 24/7. How about 7:30 am on a Sat morning or 8 pm on a weeknight? How about a diner?
How about a local library? how about borrowing the high school’s library during the student’s free period or before or after school?
Be creative folks…</p>
<p>My husband has done alum interviews. He usually did them at his office or at a Starbucks or similar location. However, he has been to Starbucks and been unable to find a table and the office can be very distracting and full of interruptions. So, this year, he decided to interview at home. He will not interview a female student unless I am at home. One young lady did have her mother come to the door and introduce herself. He did not have a problem with that. I also made sure the mom knew that I was at home.</p>
<p>It would be very difficult for the interviewers to go to each interviewee’s home. Very often the interviewer does not get a list of students they’ve been assigned until mid January or later with a report due within 4-6 weeks. If they have multiple students to interview, it can be very difficult to get to each home- students often live within a fairly wide geographic area. As Northstarmom pointed out, the interviewers are volunteers, most of whom have full time jobs, busy lives, and family obligations. They are providing a service for your child.</p>
<p>If the OP feels uncomfortable, drive your child to the home (not all kids have drivers licenses), go to the front door and introduce yourself and inquire about what time you should pick up your daughter.</p>
<p>Better yet, if you really feel uncomfortable, don’t bother with the interview, and don’t bother with the college.</p>
<p>If the Ivy in question is Cornell, the interviewer is breaking the rules. An e-mail to the admissions office (“My Cornell interviewer, [name], wants me to meet with him at his home. I thought that was against Cornell policy. Have I misunderstood the policy?”) would be in order if you’re talking about Cornell. </p>
<p>I don’t know about the rules at the other Ivy League schools. But I think it would be appropriate for your daughter to respond to the invitation with a message something like the following:</p>
<p>“I would very much like to meet with you to discuss my application to X University. However, my parents [if relevant, insert “, who are [name of ethnicity] and very conservative,”] are uncomfortable with the idea of me meeting alone with interviewers at their homes, and I need to respect their wishes. Is there any day on which you will be meeting with applicants at a location other than your home, and could we schedule my interview on that day? Alternatively, would it be acceptable for a second person to accompany me to your home and wait in another room while the interview takes place? Or could I switch to another interviewer in our area who conducts interviews at a site other than his home?”</p>
<p>The idea here is to be excruciatingly polite and suggest multiple alternatives – without giving in.</p>