<p>Our HS had a history of getting at most two kids into a particular top Ivy; one athlete for a sport where the school is excellent and one non-athlete. In my Ds year a girl who was one of the top 5 did not get in, while one top 5 girl and boy did- one an athlete, on not, so “proving” the “rule”</p>
<p>That brilliant girl did get into another Ivy, but she was not only mad at the boy all year for taking the spot, when they were all back east and in school, she still was mad. She went on to a great professional school and the boy was also successful in his post-Ivy pursuits, but she was mad for years. Like it was his fault??</p>
<p>There are always issues that will crop up as admissions are incredibly competetive. I have seen people use their background as a plus i.e. Hispanic, Russian, Hatain etc. In some cases where I have known the child I was surprised that they considered themselves a member of a particular group as the were about as middle America as you can get. For example a student who wants a school to know they are of a particular group, Hispanic, Russian etc. or form some other culture or background, but does not speak the language. This in my view can take away a spot from a student who has had to overcome a language barrier to succeed. Hoewever doing anything about it as a parent or student I don’t think in any way enhances anyone elses chance of getting in and while I frankly understand that any student will try to enhance their resume as much as possible to get admitted to the school of their choice. No matter how unfair it is - that is life. They make movies out of this stuff. But later in life things all tend to play out as they should.</p>
<p>Yup, bfg, my HS BF was a race other than white on her college apps, amazing, I never knew and we and been friends since middle school. I had been to her home many times, no one “looked” another race, nothing in the house appeared to be another culture, no one spoke a different language.</p>
<p>To give her credit she was eminently qualified to gain admissions to a top school, but it was annoying she used the racial tip factor and, I think, continues to do so to this day with a very accomplished career</p>
<p>wjb, I agree and D did rescind one of her RD applications after she was accepted EA at another school. We also repaid them for the price of the airfare ticket the university sent for D to come for an overnight visit. It is a GREAT school, but D knew she would not attend if offered an acceptance. Two other students from her hs also submitted RD applications to this school; which was another reason D rescinded her appl.</p>
<p>My D got lots of morality scoldings from kids and parents at her hs when she didn’t immediately accept Yale EA. These same kids were accepted early at USC, Georgetown and U Chicago. Guess what? They did not rescind their applications to the schools that had accepted them EA. They were waiting to hear from the Ivies they had applied to.</p>
<p>Sorry. There is ED, EA and SCEA. The rules are very clear. Acceptance EA or SCEA does not bind the applicant to accept. If that is the expecation of the school, then they should change their policy to ED.</p>
<p>TutuTaxi,
why did you reimburse the school for the price of the airfare? did she not make the trip? My son just got back from an athletic trip…airfare paid and should he choose a different school, I was not planning on paying the airfare. Is that normal or were you just being very generous? Just curious. Thanks…</p>
<p>wow… what your daughter is thinking and feeling is completely normal for someone her age. Ethical behavior, forgiving behavior, is not inborn. We learn these ways of thinking and behaving from parents, clergy, counselors, etc. It does not usually come naturally. “An Eye for an Eye” is an ancient and powerful concept that we must learn to move beyond.</p>
<p>Help your daughter learn that her choice is <em>not</em> to force herself to keep quiet… her choice rather is to embrace forgiveness and generosity.</p>
<p>wjb, S dropped three schools from his list after getting into two of his three EAs (and his #1 and #3 choices). Part of it was that he knew by that point he wouldn’t choose those other schools over the ones he had already gotten into, and part of it was that he had friends who were desperately hoping for some of those very schools. He was fortunate to have some excellent choices and was thrilled for his friends when they were accepted at great places.</p>
<p>He did keep a couple of applications in play because we were looking for $$ and he was seriously interested in his #2 and #4. In retrospect, he could have gotten away with the four schools he really wanted (since those are precisely the schools that took him) and dropped the others. However, that as a riskier strategy than we were willing to accept. (He had ten on his list, applied to seven.)</p>
<p>The CCers are right. Don’t allow your daughter to jeopardize her own application by bringing this up. </p>
<p>It won’t help, and it will make her look bad. Adcoms don’t like it. It won’t help her application if they get wind that she is trying to sabotage the other student, even if you feel that she deserves it!</p>
<p>maineparent, D had been offered the free overnight trip and sent the air ticket along with taxi vouchers. Once she received her EA acceptance, she decided it would be wrong to do the overnight. She felt it would be selfish to waste this universitys money on her, when another student could benefit by going in her place. She was able to mail back the taxi vouchers, but there was no way to return the e-ticket. We sent a check for the price of the ticket.</p>
<p>It’s not the expectation of the school that issues the SCEA/EA offer that is relevant here. Of course EA/SCEA is not binding. Of course the college does not expect an immediate acceptance. Nor do other students have the right to demand that a peer immediately accept an EA/SCEA offer. </p>
<p>What some parents here are saying is that when an EA/SCEA acceptance comes in, it’s appropriate for the student to take a hard look at his/her outstanding applications. Let’s face it. After a jackpot early acceptance, it’s likely that some safeties, matches, and even a few reaches can be eliminated from the list. Withdrawing them is just the decent thing to do. Kids who amass acceptances for sport after an EA acceptance should not be surprised when they fail to generate good will among peers and their “hysterical parents,” as you have called them.</p>
<p>I have had a son who got in EA and sent back the confirmation the next day, and another son who got in EA who waited until 2 weeks before the deadline. It was the right thing to do in both circumstances, based on a variety of factors for my sons.</p>
<p>Much had to do with visiting the schools and the scholarship offers that sons received with their packages. One had visited the school, the other had not seen all of his options. Once son #2 visited all of his schools, he realized where he fit better. It is also better to analyze fin aid packages if you wait till you see all of them!</p>
<p>Both kids released any schools that they couldn’t see themselves at as soon as offers came in. It was the right thing to do. They didn’t do it because anyone pressured them to do this. With EA they could have both waited until right up to May 1st because this is the standard notification deadline for rolling and EA admissions.</p>
<p>Part of the problem for my D was that many schools didn’t notify on merit aid until really late in the process. She would have withdrawn, for example, from Duke and Wash U much earlier if they had bothered to notify her that she hadn’t made scholarship finalist. Other schools sent their merit offer along with the acceptance - Rice and U Chicago. In both cases, it was very nice but not enough money to tip her from the school she chose.</p>
<p>Choosing your college is simple for some kids. Not so simple for others. In our kid’s case, she turned out to have many more options than expected - contrary to prevailing opinion her strengths (scores and grades) turned out to be quite powerful. This was honestly not her or our expectation and that is why she applied to many places and why we didn’t spend a great deal of time and money taking her to visit lots of schools prior to applications. We didn’t think she’d get into most of them and we didn’t want her to bond with a school that was probably going to reject her.</p>
<p>mammall: I don’t think people mean in cases where the student might accept the offer. I think they mean in those circumstances in which the student is positive they would not attend that school.</p>
<p>Of course people were wrong to pressure your D to accept before she knew which school was really better for her to attend. And if it took until April 30, so be it. She had every moral right to wait for $$ offers.</p>
<p>However, if a student has gotten into the perfect school for him/her and knows they’ll attend, it’s helpful to release the others.</p>
<p>In a similar vein, my S refused wait lists that I wanted him to be on, such as Amherst. He was positive he preferred Williams (I wasn’t) and turned down the offer to be on the wait list.</p>
<p>But I think most students would do that. Once they have an acceptance in hand that makes them happy, the wait list is not an attractive option.</p>
<p>^ I guess I can see that, mythmom. It seems so amazing that some kids are so certain when your own is anything but. I guess I’m guilty of seeing this whole thing through the lens of my child’s experience. Maybe DD2 will be more linear in her approach to all of this. If so, she will have my blessing.</p>
<p>Speaking of Amherst, I’ve just finished David Foster-Wallace’s book of essays “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never do Again” and noticed he was an Amherst graduate. Marvelous writer. So sad . . .</p>
<p>My sons’ EA results made a big difference in adjusting the college lists. There was no need to send out apps to those colleges that he did not like as much as the school where he had acceptances. EA served as a big safety net. Once he was in EA, he could apply anywhere he wanted without fear he would be left out.</p>
<p>Most Ivy Adcoms know the counselors at private schools and have read through numerous letters of recommendation from them to be able to discern if something is amiss. I was once told by a college counselor at a local private school that it isn’t what they say but rather what they don’t say that enables them to let the Adcoms know there is something they should be concerned about with a given applicant. </p>
<p>Let’s hope the previous school’s counselor is aware of that methodology.</p>