New to this stuff. Am I supposed to go with my son on an official visit at a D2 school? They are interested in him for track. I
The coach hasn’t told him any details of the visit yet but they have scheduled it.
I went on visits with my son. I would go with him to meet the coach, ask any questions that I had, then disappear until the end of the visit, at which time the coach would give us a final pitch. My son was a distance runner.
I went with my child. At one school she stayed with the team and I just went along on the public tour, and the rest she did with the team. At another school the school paid for a hotel and we stayed overnight. There were 5 kids looking at the team and all had their parents along. We all we t on a tour, the girls stayed with the coach for dinner and a sports event on Saturday night, then we all had appointments with the coach on Sunday.
It just depends on how the coach sets up the visit. I think it is less common for the parents to go but of course I knew a lot more about the school I did stay for (and some unofficial visits I attended) so I could discuss the school/team with her.
I went and did the same as MaineLonghorn above.
I didn’t go. It would have been frowned upon…but maybe it depends on the sport.
I’m not going on the official visit to a D3 school (xc/track) that my D17 is doing in March, but that’s because I went with her to visit (“unofficially”) in the fall where we did a daylong visit that included all the typical college visit stuff (tour, admissions interview, class visits) as well as meeting with the coaches & going for a walk/drive around town (with me), eating lunch with the team (also with me) and doing a workout with the team (not with me). My D says it was helpful to have me with her for college visits, but she’s excited to do this fly-in visit on her own.
I think it depends on the school and the team. For my son, we did not go. When my daughter goes in the fall, we expect to go. Different sports, different school culture is the guide we are using. Congratulations on having a child with an offer, it is more rare than many think.
I say that a parent should accompany, but not attend. The OV is definitely for the recruit, but often the coach wants to talk to the parent and child together. The reason is that a parent is better able to inform about the likelihood that the child will attend and that can help a coach assess recruiting chances. The parent is also better equipped to ask financial aid questions.
For that reason, I can totally understand why a parent would not attend if the parent has already spoken to the coach.
Making yourself scarce for all but an hour or so of an OV can be – well – boring. However, a parent can also be helpful in assessing what their child thinks about the school right after the OV. That return trip discussion was always beneficial. Other than that, it is multiple trips to the book store and hopefully the college has a museum.
I didn’t go with my son on his overnights. I met with the coach at the beginning, and came back for him the next day. It would have been weird.All the activities were with the other team members and other prospies.
Dad went with son on his two D1 OVs for track. One school had an organized visit weekend with a clear itinerary as to when parents were or were not welcome and there were several parents lurking about. The coach also met with the parents that were there individually and discussed finances on the second day. For the bulk of the time, parents drove around went to the bookstore, etc. and stayed out of the way. However, my son was put up in a hotel and the coach specifically asked if a parent would be staying with him in the room. For both visits we did need to cover all costs for parent travel (airfare, rental car, meals etc.).
On his second visit, dad said goodbye at the start of the 48 hrs. and picked him up at the end. They flew out together and then parted ways at the airport, the coach arranged for pick up for my son. There was a track meet at the school that weekend and dad was given free admission but otherwise spent the time trying to avoid running into him, although our son did sneak over to tell him things were ok once during the day and kept us updated via texts.
For what it’s worth, we got the impression that for track, no one really cared if a parent came or not, but for some other sports; football, baseball, lacrosse, it was frowned upon.
For our daughter’s 5 Official visits and 2 Unofficial visits for track, we accompanied her only on the 2 Unofficials because they were within a 5 hour drive. The others she was flown to the school for and we didn’t have the finances to be able to attend with her. Coaches were very accommodating. She even got sick at one visit while at a concert they had arranged for her and some team members to attend and the coach drove into town, picked her up and made sure she was OK before leaving her back at the dorm. He called me every step of the way. The only part of all this that made us a little nervous was the coach’s meeting where potential scholarships were discussed but as it turned out, most coaches chose to wait and call us to discuss those matters.
It was a great experience all around and our daughter is definitely the better for it! As it turns out, she thought she had her mind made up and had NLI papers in hand until the last visit (an Unofficial and I was with her for some parts of the visit) when she changed her mind and ended up signing with them.
My wife went with our son on his OV. Most recruits went with at least one parent. If I remember correctly, the schedule accounted for this and had seperate track activities for kids and parents on the weekend.
I’ve taken my son to the visits he has had, met with the coach and admissions and taken a tour with the group. Some coaches asked to meet with me before and after the visit. As a parent I think it’s a good idea to at least meet with the coach for a bit to see what your child deals with for 4 years if they attend that school.
I didn’t - my daughter flew to Ohio on her own for a lacrosse (D2) visit- coach picked her up from the airport and she stayed with other players. I don’t think she needed me there at all.
I went on all my son’s official visits. I did not stay during the team/overnights but each school we went to had full agendas for parents as well.
This is probably one of the most important decisions in your child’s life and I strongly urge the parent to go to keep an objective point of view, negotiate and really get into the details.
You will find parents are much better at asking the tough questions and I found the coaching staff have no issues with it and prefer the clear communications.
I did both - (D3) – I only went to the schools we had not seen yet. We did first rounds of a few schools to see if they were contenders since it was important for my daughter to make this decision NOT just because of her sport, she wanted to make sure the fit was right regardless of the swimming. My daughter was comfortable both ways - the ones I attended and the ones I did not. She was kept very busy and accompanied every step of her visit (and picked up at the airport, etc). I stayed out of the way but did talk to the coaches at the beginning and end of the visits. She ended up committing to one of the schools I did attend with her – and honestly, I feel good that I did meet the coach and loved her.
Just after my daughter committed, I read an article about a really mean coach from a fairly big program and how she abused players, allowed them to be hazed, made them do push ups in an airport after a loss, left two of them after a meet because of their performance (she claimed they were with their parents so it was not a big deal).
I was only slightly comforted by having met the coach and didn’t think she’d be this mean. She is somewhat of a yeller, but so far daughter hasn’t been left behind!
Since we had already done unofficial visits at the Ivies D was interested in and had at that time spoken at length with the coaches, we did not accompany D on 4 of her OV’s. We weren’t invited to attend them either. The distant schools arranged for transportation and hotels for D–not for us–and we did not feel we should go. We dropped her off at the one school that was very close to us. We sensed that going would make D look less mature and independent, and therefore less of a fit for top colleges. From what I gather, most of the athletes that were official visiting the same weekends as D also went alone, though there were a few exceptions. However, for the school across the country that we hadn’t already visited, I did go along for the OV because I felt it was important to see the school and meet the coach. Also, that coach had specifically asked if a parent/parents would be coming along, and made it clear they’d pay for our airfare and hotel and some meals.
In sum, I think the coach and itinerary will give you clues as to expectations.
^pretty confident that colleges are prohibited from paying travel costs for parents on OVs. Although I believe mileage reimbursement is permissible if the recruit chooses not to fly.