<p>I started a thread on College Life asking if the kids posting there with problems adjusting to college have parents who know, or have parents who think everything is great. A lot of us have kids (including mine) saying everything is great, and I wonder how reliable that is. Anyone who wants to follow the responses can go to:
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=123210%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=123210</a></p>
<p>I think this was a good idea, texas~. And the kids' responses so far are quite thoughtful.</p>
<p>Interesting follow-up to our Parent Forum thread:
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=119024%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=119024</a>
especially beginning on page 7.</p>
<p>Thanks for starting the thread, it was interesting. I do think that most kids don't tell their parents everything - I know that I didn't at that age. I remember when I was in my mid twenties I was dating at man 12 years older who had been divorced twice. I had no intention of telling my parents, but my younger brother squealed and my parents were very upset.</p>
<p>My kids have always shared a lot with me because they know I'm always very supportive, but they also know I worry a lot. One night my older S called and we had an upbeat conversation about how things were going. A friend of his was walking with him at the time. When he hung up he said his friend couldn't believe that he was so comfortable talking to his mother. He said he could never talk to his parents like that. I think this discomfort is more typical of parent/teenager relationships. However, just because they're telling you everything is going well, doesn't mean that it isn't!</p>
<p>Great thread Texas. I'm hearing the good and the bad over the phone, but the person who spoke about parents going into the red to pay for his/her education - that struck home. We aren't going into the red, but we have made it clear that her education is an expensive proposition to be taken seriously - but that doesn't mean don't have a good time, or going into hiding if there are bumps in the road! If she has a problem, I want her to try to handle it, but if she wants input or just someone to talk with, I don't want her to be afraid to tell me.</p>
<p>I think it depends upon both the parent-student relationship and the personality of the student. My younger son tells me good and bad. He told me he would let me know the first time he got drunk, and he did. (not what I wanted to hear, but he knew we wouldn't condemn him, even though we disapprove.) He calls with good news, but he also calls when he wants someone to complain to. (I think that may be less frequent now that he has a girlfriend.)</p>
<p>My older son, however, is not as open. When he was rejected by a summer internship and 5th year program, all within the same week, he pretended to us that he was doing OK, but he told his little brother how depressed he was about it. Of course, he is also older, so maybe he feels by now he should be able to handle life on his own. Still, I think a lot of it is just the kid's personality.</p>
<p>When friends or family ask me, "So how is the boy doing in college?" sometimes I have to say, "I'm not really sure.... "</p>