<p>Also…back in the dark ages (when <em>I</em> went to college), I WAS an independent student for financial aid purposes. It was VERY easy to get that designation back then…just didn’t have parents declare me on their taxes and poof, I was independent for financial aid. In my situation, I don’t think the outcome would have been much different as I had a single mom who earned a very low wage. BUT this independent student thing has changed considerably. One can no longer just “decide” to become independent for financial aid purposes any longer. For some students, this DOES make the difference as they have parents with significant resources who will not pay for college. Oh by the way…I agree with the way independent student status is decided NOW.</p>
<p>In our family there are four contributors that pay for college: (1) the student through summer and work study employment as well as federally guaranteed Ford and Stafford loans
and Pell grant (2) outside scholarships (3) college financial aid (4) parental contribution.</p>
<p>Yeah, im not gonna get any help but whatever its my education not theirs</p>
<p>Every child is different. Every situation is different. Every parent is different. Some kids must be “bribed” to go to college (“you WILL go, it’s the minimum acceptable these days, I WILL pay and you WILL study and graduate!”). This only applies to those who CAN pay. Many CANNOT pay. Or they can pay a small sum. They may HOPE their child goes to college, for a better / higher education, to advance themselves beyond what the parent was able to accomplish. We mostly all want more for our kids than whatever we had. Some REFUSE and say college is unnecessary (oh my!). Some want their child to properly VALUE their education. And the only way to learn value, is to pay for “it” (your education, new car, IPOD, clothes, home) yourself. Kids have no real clue at time of college matriculation what the “real world” has in store, or what it will cost them to live. No school class or budget preparation can explain HOW to get a broken car fixed when you need it to get to work but hadn’t budgeted a savings for just such that purpose. No book can tell you how to explain to your child you don’t make enough money to pay for dance classes, especially when the tears well on a child that has done nothing but dance since age 2. So it’s an important life lesson. We all have a plan, and we all have an amount that we feel we can or can’t contribute. Me, for instance…I am self employed and have never been able to create a retirement account. I’m single and I’ve had cancer. We never know if/when anything like that will strike. I’d be a fool to spend every penny on a “great” (expensive!) education…and yet be destitute and hope that education resulted in my child making enough money that they could take care of ME when I was unable to work. I think it’s as much a “gift” to your child to make sure you’ve taken care of your elderly years first. If the child takes on a loan and has to pay for it for years…they’ll know how important was that education. Catch - 22. Gotta have money to make money. Gotta go to college to get a better job…in order to pay off the loans you had to take in order to go to college. </p>
<p>All that said…I will be paying for my child’s college anyway. I am not college educated and INSIST that she is. But I’ll only be able to pay what I feel I can “afford” (defined very differently by many). So I can’t pay top dollar. Everyone has a finite amount they feel they can spend. Between zero and … let’s face it… Ivies are going to be $240,000 for 4 years without scholarship. In between their lies everyone’s breaking point and it’s obviously a HUGE variance.</p>
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<p>Back in my day, a lot of kids went to work at the local steel mill at VERY nice salaries for someone who had no education or training. Those jobs are gone.</p>
<p>Trade jobs require training. I know people who are salesmen who make a good living without having graduated from college. (But then I know salesmen who did graduate from college.)</p>
<p>One thing that I hear from some friends who have lost their jobs and are looking for a new one–not having graduated from college can be a real deal breaker. When employers have lots of resumes for one job, one of the first places to make the cut is whether the applicants have a college degree or not.</p>
<p>I can’t emphasize enough to our kids how important it is to finish college. I think it is important enough that I am willing to finance it for them.</p>
<p>My parents initially said they wouldn’t be contributing anything. Then they changed it later to mean that they’d help a little if they could. I never really expected much help, so when I looked for colleges, my number one criterion was that the college be affordable for me. I qualify for substantial need-based aid, and I also (by some miracle) got considerable merit aid from my top 10 university that rarely gives it. So college will be affordable for me.</p>
<p>If my parents made more money, and I had a higher EFC, I would probably have had to choose a more humble school where I could get more scholarship money. It’s really quite possible to get an affordable college education, but it takes years of effort in high school classes, at the SAT/ACT testing center, and at the computer searching the internet.</p>
<p>While it would be nice if my parents could contribute the EFC (instead of making me pay it), I think it’s a bit asinine for parents to shell out the $55,000 per year for their children. A college education doesn’t have to cost that much, and if the student was admitted to a university that costs that much (usually a top-ranked one), he or she would certainly be able to get scholarships valued at full tuition or more at lower universities.</p>
<p>This issue has always given me a bit of trouble, since I know those rich parents are the ones paying for my education at my top university. But that’s just the way the system works, and I’d be a bit foolish to not take advantage of the opportunity it offers to me.</p>
<p>My parents are helping me with college indirectly. I am paying for everything college related - tuition, room, board, books, etc. with my own savings, working a job and some student loans. My parents agreed to cover my cell phone, car and insurance while I am in school, so that is helping me out tremendously.</p>
<p>“While it would be nice if my parents could contribute the EFC (instead of making me pay it), I think it’s a bit asinine for parents to shell out the $55,000 per year for their children.”</p>
<p>I used to feel the same way particularly since costs have skyrocked so much – far above inflation – since I went to college.</p>
<p>In fact, older S happily turned down 2 top 25 schools for a tier 2 school that offered him virtually full merit aid. Despite having the IB diploma and scores in the 98th percentile, S flunked out of that school. I am convinced that if he had gone to a higher quality school where more students were interested in academics, not partying, he would have gotten his degree and wouldn’t have decided that a college education was a waste of time (Even in the honors program at his college, he had assignments that he’d had in high school). H and I were willing to contribute toward S’s education, but we also had offered to split the difference with S if he managed to have lower college costs than we were willing to pay. He decided to go for the money…</p>
<p>We didn’t offer to split the difference if younger S found a college experience cheaper than what we were willing to pay. He chose an expensive tier 2 LAC over a tier 2 public that he could have attended for free. The college that he chose was a perfect fit for him, and he has blossomed there academically as well as socially. Merit aid plus a job and loans and our support are helping him pay for this experience, but all of us think it is worth it.</p>
<p>If I hadn’t seen how the right college can transform a person, and how the wrong college can also transform a person in the wrong way, I would not think that the sacrifice that my family is making is worth it. If, however, younger son wasn’t invested enough in the experience to work during the school year and summer and take out loans to help pay for it, I wouldn’t be willing to financially help him go to such an expensive college.</p>
<p>Thumper – relatively high or upper middle income people get no benefit from dependents on tax return anymore.</p>
<p>Were I live parents often won’t pay very much towrds their kids education. My parents said they would give me around two thousand per year, but I got scholarships so they are off the hook 
. Most of my friends’ parents are going to do the same.</p>
<p>My father, orphaned at a young age, and who made a lot less than I do, sent three kids to college. I also went to grad school and my brother went to law school. Undergraduate was free. We borrowed money for post graduate and received money from our parents.</p>
<p>I always said that I would send my child to the best schools I could afford and he could take advantage of. That amounted to 17 years of private schooling in an international school in DC with the IB curriculum, and then arguably the best film school in the country.</p>
<p>We saved from the day he was born and borrowed what we needed. The only tangible thing we had to give him to get on in the world as an adult was his education. No trust funds. No businesses. </p>
<p>When I had a child this is what I committed to. I have no regrets.</p>
<p>I got around $1200. That’s all i needed tho. (HOPE Scholarship + Fed Unsub Loan + Outside Scholarship)</p>
<p>I was told long ago that my mother was not contributing to my education. There was no college savings account, 529 plan, cookie jar…nothing. It simply wasn’t affordable or realistic to save. So I only had the option of being successful in school and earning scholarships and taking out a small loan or not going to college at all. The former worked out pretty successfully and my mom will just be covering my room furnishing expenses and a few other incidentals.</p>
<p>OP, amidst sizable FA and scholarship, my EFC would have been zero if my mom didn’t volunteer to pay a quantity (much smaller than your EFC, btw). She has basically no money, but she is proud and attached to me.</p>
<p>That said, she always used to say she wasn’t contributing a cent.</p>
<p>Our society presumes that parents will support their kids’ college education. All of the financial aid calculations, from the FAFSA to the Profile, assume that. Financial planners assume it, too - even before the child is born, families are exhorted to start saving for college expenses that are nearly two decades down the road. Financial institutions offer a variety of college savings plans, notably 529 plans that are often state-subsidized in various ways. And, for parents that lack both income and assets, i.e., relatively poor families, there are a variety of options to meet that need at most schools.</p>
<p>A big disconnect occurs when parents who are middle-income or higher decide not to support their student financially. Summer and part-time job earnings won’t put a dent in a $50K annual cost, and a six-figure debt for undergrad school is an unmanageable burden in almost every case.</p>
<p>That student will still have college opportunities, of course, but they are likely to be limited. Without parental help, the possibility of attending a four-year residential undergrad program with a peer group of equally qualified students is vanishingly small in many states.</p>
<p>I’d add that I don’t think it’s every family’s responsibility to pay for whatever college the student can get into. Setting a contribution limit (above which the student will have to obtain loans) is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. I do recommend having that discussion early in the college search process, not when acceptances have rolled in and the student is stunned that his first few choices are unaffordable.</p>
<p>Thumper – Re: Independent students…I believe there could be a better middle ground with respect to the way financial aid assesses this today in the US. I also feel the issue could be positively influenced with a more realistic allotment of aid – after all, it’s not all THAT expensive to give loans at 6.8%! I attended university in Canada, unfunded by parents due to a disagreement over major and school and location : ) and perhaps a lack of appreciation of the value of education. At that time, the formula was that you either had to have a notorized emancipation (true, too easy to abuse, however, my stepdad would not admit that they would not help me) or have lived away from home and worked for four years. My aunt helped me pay about a quarter of my first year. I ended up working and declaring my “independence” in order to return to school thereafter. In my case, yes, I worked full time and lived on my own for four years.</p>
<p>The idea that it takes one until the age of 24 (aka 7 or 8 yrs out of hs) to achieve independence here for FAFSA purposes strikes me as odd. Truly, a forumula of 21 + x years employed, paying taxes as independent AND living away from parents seems more equitable. -Just a different view from one who was blessed to have this option.</p>
<p>With respect to parents paying for college – I have found the expectation level here in the US quite high but feel it is in relation to the unchecked cost to attend. Comparatively, in Canada, where one might go to any school for a total COA of $15,000 including board (and considerably less in some places, eg. UBC – $3800 tuition…!), and with the government giving a combination of grants and loans up to about $11,700 of that for middle earners, it is much more “possible” for a student to be self sufficient and survive on summer earnings, grants and loans. </p>
<p>That said, my S. chose a U.S. school (we’ve lived in Mi quite a while now) and his merit scholarships carried about half his gross COA; I am contributing about a quarter directly; he is using loans, work study and earnings to cover the balance. I will likely assist him in repayment of his loans as well, but do want him to have sufficient “skin in the game” to be responsible around the value he derives from his experience.</p>
<p>I think it is a highly personal balance that each family needs to strike in accordance with its own philosophies and capabilities. But I also think it is a wise parent who realizes that we can support the launch of our children <em>now</em> or pay later by housing or financially assisting an underemployable and unhappy young adult : )</p>
<p>My parents are making interest payments on one of my loans while I am in school for one year. That’s it. And my EFC is $25,000, so quit bellyaching. 
I was actually really excited because it used to be $36,000, it came down a LOT in the last year.</p>
<p>Though, they did cosign for me, which was nice of them. I’d have been screwed otherwise. They really didn’t want to and nearly didn’t, if they hadn’t I don’t know what I’d have done. I already finished at a community college and need to finish my bachelors SOMEHOW.</p>
<p>Usually a combination of student loans + scholarship + part time job + parents… so that the pressure of paying is equally divided :P</p>
<p>Some parents do not help their children pay for college. :(</p>
<p>My parents said that they would foot the bill for college, but only if all merit-based scholarship options were exhausted. I do crew, so I am hoping to gain a scholarship from that, which I know my parents would like. A girl from my school received a full ride (room and board included) from Yale last year for crew, so I am hoping that I can at least get a little bit. All of my friends are the same way, they are supposed to look into any merit-based scholarship options and if they don’t get any, then their parents will pay for college. I know I will not qualify for need-based financial aid, it will need to be merit based, and most kids at my school are the same way. My dad’s parents paid for him, and my mother received a full ride scholarship, so her tuition was never an issue, and they have always planned to at least pay for my expenses while in college, if not my actual tuition.</p>