I just realized that there is no way for parents to know if their kids are doing well in college or not, unless kids share their grades? Do you check your college kid’s grades?
My parents check my final grades near the end of the semester when they’re rolling in one by one. Otherwise I usually just tell them how such-and-such test or assignment went.
I require my kids to show me their grades before I’ll pay for the next semester. Accountability isn’t a bad thing. Seems fair to me for funding their education. 
I feel that asking for a proof is sort of showing that I don’t trust their word. So far, they have given me no reason to doubt it.
I ask my daughter and just trust her that she’s telling me the truth.
I have access to my student’s portal (she gave me the password), so I can see anything online that she can. I usually look at her final semester grades, but I don’t look at anything else. If I want to know about anything in the interim, I can ask her, but we would not usually discuss grades or classes unless she brought them up in conversation (which is extremely rare).
My D calls and lets me know after nearly every exam how she is doing in that particular class. Because she puts so much pressure on herself to do well, there’s no chance I’d get by without hearing about a bad grade, never mind a bad semester. I spent an hour talking her off the ledge last week regarding a OrgChem exam grade of 79. Sometimes I just don’t want to know LOL.
No, I never checked. They would usually tell me. I knew they were working hard. If anything they needed to relax and have more fun.
I have access to the portal (he gave me the password) and I check the final semester grades.
We expect our ds to tell us what his grades are at the end of each quarter. I have absolutely no access to his grades/portal nor would I ask for it.
I never had to ask. They were always home during the week after the semester ended, which is when the grades would appear online. I would usually hear the cheers or groans when a new grade appeared, and I often heard the story of why the grade was the same, better, or worse than the kid had hoped. (There’s a world of difference between “[Expletive], it’s only an A minus” and “Wow! It’s an A minus.”)
I ask how grades/classes are going, if he has any concerns, etc. If he isn’t telling me the truth, it will come out eventually, since he has scholarships tied to minimum GPA maintenance. He understands the importance of maintaining his grades, and I believe our relationship is such that he would tell me sooner rather than later if he were running into trouble.
As a college professor, I’ll say that I have no problem with parents checking their student’s grades on an online portal or such if the student cares to share them, but please, please, please don’t ever contact the school or a faculty member to check on them, okay? Not only is it poor form (and may raise questions about your child, though I do try not to let it influence me that way when it happens), for us to talk to you about it is a violation of federal law,* and so the request feels really uncomfortable.
- Yes, even if your child is under 18.
We had a terrible time trying to set up a parent account on the school portal, so I just got my kids’ login info to pay the bills. I can check their final semester grades but all the other info (individual test grades, professor communications) goes through a different system.
We were sent the grade reports every term by the colleges. My son also usually discussed his planned course selection for the coming term. My daughter did too, though her options were much more constrained.
Grades, as long as they were passing or better, were of less interest to us than progress in the programs as well as the kids’ sense of well-being.
I’m like Pizzagirl. I didn’t ask, I knew she was working hard and doing her best. In the end, that’s “all” I ask.
Im paying, Im checking.
I don’t have access to my kids grades, but I do expect them to share end of semester grades. They do and I get general updates on how classes are going during the semester.
I have found it is almost more important to have them discuss course selection. I am in the midst of trying to convince DS2 he needs to take a math course next year. I also help them get their thoughts organized before meeting with advisors regarding course selection.
Our D’s kept us informed on grades, particularly since they had min GPA requirements to keep their scholarships.
My kids very willingly showed us their grades through their online portal. If they had not done so, we would not have paid the bill.