I hate online portals. I prefer to have a dialogue with my daughter than simply access to a portal. I will ask the generic “how are you doing” and depending on how she responds, I can get a sense of, well, how she is doing.
True snippet
my mom upon seeing my grades when I was in college: Are you having fun in school?
me: No! I’m struggling. I’m having a tough time with these classes.
mom: Too bad. With these grades, you should be having fun.
Ouch! SlackerMomMD that one must have stung as a kid.
I always checked on my kids’ grades in the beginning. Once I felt like they were on track then I stopped, but they still told me their semester grades. I wanted to know if they were adjusting to college course load. It can be a hard adjustment for some kids.
Just clarifying…I did NOT have access to my kids’ student portals. That is how they chose to show us their grades.
Actually, in DS’s case (2003-2007) the university mailed the grades "to the parents of Thumperson.
Nope. Don’t ask. Don’t have access. However, I need a copy of grades for the good student discount on my car insurance. D can scan and send them herself, but she’d rather not be bothered, so I will find out what they are.
I use old-fashioned conversation. During the school year, I ask them how their classes are going and if they are having any problems or need anything. At the end of the semester, I ask what their grades are and they tell me. 
Yep I’ve got the online portal user id and password and I periodically get on and check. Trouble is this semester only 2 classes are using the online portal. DD seems to always think she is doing fine. She’s an engineering major and most of her classes have curves. I try not to freak out until the curve is taken into consideration at final grade time because it does make a difference.
Oh for the record…It never dawned on me to check my kids’ grades during the term. I didn’t do that in high school either. We expected them to get respectable grades. We did talk about their classes and how things were going.
But go onto a student portal and check each class grades during the college term? Nope…never did that.
I just ask.
D often tells me. I do have access but I haven’t used it.
I didn’t check my son’s grades in college and he damn near flunked out. (He at least had the sense to withdraw while he was still in acceptable standing academically-- but I didn’t learn how bad some of his grades were until he had the transcript sent to my house when he wanted to apply as a transfer to another university).
Having learned my lesson with kid #1, I told kid #2 that it was a condition of financial support through college that I be given access to grades, and that I had the same GPA requirement as the college did: at least a 2.0 GPA and satisfactory progress toward degree. I didn’t have to worry - kid #2 graduated phi beta kappa. But kids who have straight A’s are generally quite happy to share their grades with their parents… it’s the ones who are struggling who sometimes also try to hide the truth about how poorly they are faring. So definitely no resentment or resistance from the kid for whom A’s were the norm.
I think that if I had been more diligent with kid #1, perhaps he could have been helped before things went totally off the rails. When I saw his transcript later on, I had to tell him that he couldn’t return to college #1 because there simply was no way he could finish without at least one more semester to make up several courses, and I wouldn’t be able to afford the cost of an additional semester once he had exhausted his financial aid.
Bottom line: If parents are footing the bill, I think it is reasonable to ask to see their grades.
The problem with the “just ask” approach is that sometimes kids are feeling embarrassed and ashamed about poor grades, so they will say things are going fine when they aren’t. They may be thinking they will be able to fix things on their own, and then it doesn’t work out that way.
My parents asked, and I told them my education is none of their business. Then again, they don’t pay a cent towards college, and we teeter on the edge of estrangement almost constantly. If I don’t need to know my mother had a stroke, they don’t need to know my grades.
@SlackerMomMD, that’s too funny. I literally laughed out loud.
My true snippet . . . . my mother once said “maybe I should actually see something from college at some point to prove you are enrolled.”
We both laughed and she never brought it up again. 
@1dreamer. I went to my father’s university so they knew I was enrolled. My parents saw my final grades but I don’t think even the professors who knew my father said anything to him about I was doing during the semester. My relationship with my professors were quite separate from their relationship with my father.
Just for the record, I don’t do well with just the online portal. I think many parents see it as just another tool and use it sensibly. I panic too easily so I need the dialogue with my child to put things in perspective.
I’ve never had to ask. They have all shared. I’m trying to picture a scenario where I would feel the need to “check” on my adult kids. That just isn’t the type of relationship we have. But, if their grades had fallen, they would have (had) problems b/c they have all had scholarships with GPA requirements. W/o the scholarships, they wouldn’t be (have been) able to pay their college bills.
But, equally, that is not a parental problem from our family’s perspective. If they lost/lose their scholarship $$, they would lose the opportunity of attending that school. We wouldn’t pay the difference. That is their reality. For them, it is what it is. (FWIW, all of our kids so far have managed to maintain honors level GPAs.)
I was the sole scholarship provider to m kids. I had minimum GPA requirement for them to get mom scholarship, so they needed to provide me the proof, no different than if they were getting a scholarship from school. My kids knew I was serious about the minimum requirement.
My parents had my password to my portal. They never used it. I don’t even think they would know how to access it even with my login info lol.
My parents didn’t pay for my education but I still told them how I was doing- the good and the bad. They never much cared about my grades but they were always very concerned about my mental health (since I was holding down a full time job while going to school full time). They didn’t go to college so just going was an accomplishment in my family 
forget college my parents going to check grade in medical school they made me sign privacy waver
@Spaceship - your post makes me sad. I’m sorry. 
@turtle0099 - wowza! Are they paying for your med school studies? Your post makes me sad, too.
@Hoggirl yes, how comes it makes you sad though?