<p>I liked one of the schools my son hated, and we both disliked some of the same schools (though not always for the same reasons!). Luckily neither kid is attending a school I hated. Older son is attending a school I knew very little about - he applied sight unseen - but it’s turned out very well for him.</p>
<p>Love my daughter’s first choice. Pleased her second choice too (with the exception of the distance). I absolutely despise the third choice school. Just staying hopeful she’s accepted to #1 and/or #2.</p>
<p>I didn’t like any of my kids’ first choices. However, my current college son loves his school and is thriving beyond what any parent or person would have thought possible. So, I am now very pleased with his choice. Second son graduated in 4 years, learned what he needed to learn and his school was easy on our finances, so all in all, it was a good choice though not one I liked.</p>
<p>Not the most ringing endorsement of the second school, Cpt. Do you think your s would have chosen the same school again?</p>
<p>Yes. He wanted a specific program run a specific way within a mainstream university. Given what he wanted, he really only had one choice. It happened to be our state school so the price was right. He wished and wishes he had been accepted to his first choice programs but it did not happen. He really went to his safety school, but it was his choice. I felt he should have been more flexible about his field of study; that it just wasn’t that important especially given kids change their majors so many times. He did not. Maybe because he ran into so much resistance and got stubborn about it, but he did have a rough time getting through his program. He is now well trained in his discipline with a BFA which is what he wanted. I would have much preferred a smaller school for him, LAC type of school, or if he were to go to a big school, I would have preferred some his better known choices. </p>
<p>My first son did not do well with his choice either. What I feared happened. It was not the right school for him, and he would pick differently, given his choices. He and my third child had a number of choices that fit what they wanted. My second one really did not. It came down to the one school.</p>
<p>To the OP.</p>
<p>My kids choose me to take them on visits/tours of colleges … they choose me instead of their Mom because they know I will keep my mouth shut until asked for an opinion and even then will typically try to cull out their feelings as opposed to share mine. The visits have been fascinating to me as my oldest, my second, my wife’s, and my opinions on various aspects on picking a college as well as the relative importance of each of these attributes can be so diametrically opposed. One reason I don’t speak first is I don’t wont’s to say I hate this place right before my kid says I love this place and want to go here for 4 years. </p>
<p>I actually think this process (I’m on my second pass through in the last 2 years) had helped mature A LOT as a parent moving beyond my picking what I believe is best for my kids to supporting them as they pick what they believe is best for them and how in some ways these choices will line-up with my (or my wife’s thoughts) and other times we’ll think maybe we brought the wrong kid home from the hospital.</p>
<p>I go with my kids on the college tours and help with the apps because I, too, will let them have their own opinions. Yes, I’ll tell them what I think but leave it at that and encourage them to have their own thoughts and preferences. With their Dad, they feel defensive about their choices because he really gets into it. </p>
<p>Though I prefer LACs, particularly for my kids, I will support their choice of a large school if that is what they want. I’ll point out the reasons for my preferences and why I think the smaller schools would be better for them, but I won’t get pushy about it. They can get feedback as they want it without their feelings being hurt. Though, yes, I like getting my way, I truly think it is important for them to make the choices, informed choices, but their choices, and I stick to that belief in how I interact. </p>
<p>And I 've been wrong. They’ve been right. And vice versa. Just because what I think I am doing is the right thing, does not mean that the results have always been optimum.</p>